Donny Pauling

Stewart, If you'd promise to read it I'd love to send you a book called Blue Like Jazz. I really identified with it, and I bet you would too. I am a Christian, Stewart. But I've only come back to God a short time ago. September 25th, to be exact. I still have a lot of anger, bitterness, and flat out hatred towards many Christians. And guess what? It's okay. I'm working on it and God is patient. Christians have done so much evil in God's name. They were way wrong and way off base. Please let me apologize to you for all of that. I've only recently come to realize that it's true: most of God's "saints" don't reflect him at all. I let my bitterness towards them crowd out my ability to actually see him for what he is. I welcome you here, Stewart. Don't go anywhere. You're here only because you're looking, whether you want to believe that or not. I know, because I've been there. I've written horrible things about Christians and produced pornography, in part, to piss off the Christians from my past. God was there through it all, holding my hand and not judging me. He loved me despite who I am and what I did. The same is true for you. Let me send you the book. My email address is: photography4me@hotmail.com Let me know where to mail it. I promise that will be the only thing I send to you and I'll never share your address. And if you are interested, check out my blog. There's a "start here if you're new" link at the top and on the top right side column as well. Browse through that if you wish. Again, I'm glad you're here.

God, Your saints tried to tell me that you are a God of love, yet they killed millions in your name. They told me you were anti-abortion, yet scriptures like Hosea 13:16 which state that you told Israelites to rip unborn babies from their mother's wombs seemed to contradict that. They told me not to judge, yet they were the most judgmental group of people I ever met. I am sorry I couldn't see past all of that and realize that your saints do a very bad job representing you. I sure wish I had met real Christians, rather than pretenders. I always loved the idea of you, but just didn't see true Christianity in action. Something like that, I'd imagine. Fortunately I've finally been able to look past the horrible saints and see God. It's been quite the journey (which I happen to chronicle in my blog if you're interested).

Grace, If you still come to this board and read this let me know. Read my blog: http://www.DonnysRamblings.com I produced porn for 9 years. I surrendered my life to God on September 25th, 2006. There may be ways I can help deal with this problem, from an insiders perspective.

...Stance on Abortion: I was speaking with a Christian woman this evening. I asked her what helps her decide who she'll vote for come election time. The first thing out of her mouth was: "How they feel about abortion." Overwhelmingly, the Christians I speak with say they vote Republican because of the abortion issue. Think about this for a second: Ronald Reagan = 8 years as President. George Bush Senior = 4 Years as President. George Bush Junior = 8 years as President (yes I know he's not finished with his second term yet). That's a total of 20 years. With those years in mind, let me ask this question: "Which of these Republicans changed anything about abortion?" The answer is, "None of them!" Abortion has remained legal no matter who is in the office. It's ridiculous to vote for candidates based on this issue. None of them will do a thing about it, except maybe use it during their campaigns to try to sway Christians to vote for them. For the record: I'm a registered Republican and vote almost exclusively Republican. I say "ALMOST" because I don't vote for parties. I vote for candidates I believe in. I believe all voters should do the same.