Thanks, I guess I pretty much already knew the answer. I just cannot see how I am not going to end up with a stroke or heart attack due to the stress I am under. Guess it's my path then..

For years now I've been going through ups and downs in my marriage (married 28 years), but the downs have been significant. I'm not in a physically abusive relationship, and all is great when it's good, but when it's bad, then it's really bad. My husband is a narcissist and compulsive liar, so things can be amazing at times, and things can be awful at times. I've been patient, loving, kind and always trying to keep the peace, but it's just suffocating. We love each other dearly, but it sometimes feels like I'm married to the devil himself (that's no exaggeration!). As long as things are good and running smoothly, then it's fine, but the littlest things can trigger him and then he turns into this monster. My health is suffering as a result of tremendous stress that I am under all the time. I'm constantly under pressure from him, and have to give account of all my actions, to the point where I'm not even allowed to visit our son at his home, without my husband knowing about it. He's always checking when I'm on my phone and want to know who I'm talking to, who I'm messaging, what I'm doing on my phone. He controls our finances and I earn a reasonably good salary, but he controls all the money. I'm very privileged to be working from home mostly, but when I need to be in the office, then he starts saying things like, I just want to go hang out with the men in the office, or if I talk to my boss too much, then he gets ideas in his head. He also blames our grown-up children for our marriage troubles and accuses me of keeping things from him if I don't tell him everything. He wants to know absolutely everything all the time, even when I leave a room to go get a drink in the kitchen, he would ask where I'm going, what I'm doing. He knows where I am all the time due to an app on our phones that shows location, and has a tracker on my car, which is for insurance purposes, but he uses it for controlling me. We gym together, but I must use the same equipment he uses, otherwise he gets angry and upset that I don't want to do things with him. If he goes to bed at night and I want to watch a bit more television, then he wants to know where I was (despite knowing I watched television) and gets upset if I don't go to bed the same time he does. He controls everything. I am suffocating and exhausted. He hates my beliefs (me being Christian), and gets upset if I go to church consecutive Sundays. I joined a women's bible study at church that takes place on Tuesday mornings, but he didn't like it and was upset and suspicious of me going, so I'm not doing it any longer. Don't get me wrong, I also have many things that I do wrong that contribute to our fractured relationship, but for once I've started standing up for myself, standing up to him and not allowing him to emotionally drain me like this. I've had enough and I am tired.

My question is, would it be wrong if I decide to separate from him? I'm not interested in moving on, or finding someone else. I just want to get out of this emotionally abusive mess that I am in. I know divorce is a sin, but what if I want to separate from him? I have no intentions with anyone else at all. I just want peace! I just want to be able to breathe for once in my life. I just want to know what it feels like to smile and be happy and not stressed. I'm so so incredibly exhausted.... There is so much more to all of this than what I was able to type. It's a huge mess. Anyone who knows narcissistic behaviors, will have an idea what this man is doing to me.

Please keep me in prayer. A ct scan revealed a mass on my pancreas. I am scared, very very scared. Going for more tests soon.

Thank you

Sorry I missed you in chat. Feel free to drop in and say hi. You will get heaps of support there.

Hahaha I was wondering how far this ridiculous news would travel 

Please keep the people in prayer who has suffered loss with recent floods very close to our home. More severe weather is predicted until Sunday and my son's girlfriend and her family were in the centre of where this happened. They are safe and okay, but the damage is severe with many farmers who lost livestock and farms flooded. Thanks

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/90223062/Severe-thunderstorms-torrential-rain-and-flash-flooding-likely-to-strike-Northland

Please can someone help me understand in layman's terms what this 5777 and the Jewish calendar and the year 2017 is all about? I see a lot of posts about it on facebook and I have googled it, but don't know which websites are actually giving me the full accurate story. It all seems like a load of nonsense to me as everything I have seen so far are from self proclaimed prophets and pentacostal pastors. Please can someone explain so I can in turn give concise answers to my fb friends as to why it's something to agree with, or not.

Here are some links I found:

http://www.elijahlist.com/words/display_word.html?ID=16678

https://biblicalsignsintheheadlines.com/2016/09/09/5777-are-you-rapture-ready/

and there are plenty more.

Thanks

esther

On 12/30/2016 at 2:35 AM, angels4u said:

Esther , we were both unsaved when we got married, I was saved first  and my husband saved much later, by your testimony and living for Jesus ,you can win your husband to the Lord ,be faithfull and live everyday praying in the Spirit , your husband will see the change in you~~

If you don't feel right in your relationship with God ,start reading the Bible again and start maybe with the book of John? Your love for God will grow and your relationship can easily be restored ,there's nothing more important in this life then to walk with Jesus ,on our own we can't do anything but with God we can move mountains! 

 Esther, God is waiting for you to cast your burden on Him!

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.Psalm 55:22

Thanks all. Separation or divorce is not and never will be an option. We got married when both were unsaved. I am saved. He is not. It's extremely hard some days and other days I can cope. I also knowthat it's worse than usual because of my lack of relationship with God - entirely my own doing. I know God won't let go, but I am in a very bad place emotionally and spiritually at the moment and feel overwhelmed. Thanks for the support and advice and prayers.

I know that I shouldn't say or even think this, but it sometimes feel like I am married to a pawn in the devil's hand (probably am). It has been getting worse and worse for months or few years now, but every time something happens it's like a new low for my husband. Narcissistic bully control freak compulsive liar...doesn't even begin to describe him. My spiritual life is almost non existent as I am tired of hoping praying crying fearing (not physical abuse but the terrible influence he has on those under his mighty destructive hand is enough to break anyone emotionally!).

21 years of marriage and I won't give up, but I have no hope. I am struggling with severe depression as a result but are not on medication. How hard must life knock a person before God intervenes??? I know we are not promised an easy life, but this is making me physically sick. 

Not even sure why I am writing this. Maybe to rant. Maybe to ask for prayer. I don't know. 

esther

What does Psalm 19:4 mean when it says that God has pitched a tent for the sun? 

⁴ "Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun."

Is there a specific significance or maybe a Hebrew meaning for this? I'd love to understand what is meant by a tent being pitched for the sun. I have read some commentaries on this, but wonder if anyone knows if there is a deeper meaning behind it?

Things...life...everything is just too much for me at this stage. Past year or two have been incredibly hard with challenges that pushed me past my limits. I have been coping but every now and then it overwhelms me, like lately. 

Please keep me and my family in prayer.

Hi All

I couldn't find any real answers online, or maybe I just didn't search by using the correct words.

Do Jehovah's Witnesses consider it to be taking the Lord's Name in vain when specifically using the expression "OMG"? (Sorry I cannot type it out as it just feels wrong and even typing the acronym makes me cringe, but I don't know how else to specify that I'm searching answers on).

Reason for my question is that we have 4 JW's at our work, but one of them always expresses herself by saying those words, and if it is a no-no for them, then I would like to challenge her on it - i.e. if they believe so-and-so, then why is she taking the Lord's Name in vain. However, all I could find online suggests that they don't really see it as taking the Lord's Name in vain.

Can anyone else shed some light on this?

Thanks

Hi all

What's your thoughts on christians taking part in the Color Run? Is it something to avoid or is it harmless fun?

https://prepareforthelamb.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/christian-view-of-the-color-run-holi-festival-putting-the-brakes-on-pagan-christianity/

I'm not quite sure I agree with that statement simplejeff - do you have biblical reference to say that if someone does something wrong they will receive curse, disease, punishment, etc? I don't agree with your answer, it simply does not line up with a forgiving God. If a Christian does something wrong there is forgiveness. My question is, whether the statement "opening spiritual doors in our lives" are even biblical. E.g. demonic doors.

If someone chooses not to do something because they don't want to open spiritual doors into their lives, is that biblical? I guess the question that I am asking is if the phrase "opening spiritual doors into our lives" are biblical.

Example - someone doesn't take part in Halloween celebrations because they don't want to open spiritual doors into their lives.

It almost sounds like a phrase that the word-faith-movement would use, but I could be mistaken and would really like to know if this statement is even biblical.

Focus on my question please, this is not a Halloween related question, it's just an example I am using so please turn it into a Halloween thread!

esther 

Thanks all. Latest update is that he has come out of surgery and his parents are with him. It looks like his body is "accepting" his right leg that was re-attached. Tubes will come out of his mouth tomorrow, so he might be talking soon. He will be in a wheelchair for about a year. And that's as much as I know.

His employer has started a give-a-little page for him to help cover the expenses. Those who are on my facebook can find the link.

Hi All

Please keep our former pastor's son in prayers. He was involved in a motorcycle accident in the United States over the weekend and is in critical condition. He lost his left leg on impact and there is a possibility he might lose the right leg also. If his kidneys fail then things look dire. He is in a hospital in Pasadena LA.

This young man is 21/22 years old and has his whole life ahead of him. Please pray for the Lord to be merciful and save his other leg and spare his life and that He will be glorified through all of this.

His parents are currently flying over to the States to be with him.

Thank you

esther

Hi everyone

Please pray for our family. It's a very long story, and I would probably end up writing a book if I had to start trying to tell everything that's been happening over the years, especially the past 12 months or so.

Long story short, is that my son (20) and his girlfriend are expecting. They haven't been together for long, maybe 6 months, don't have a stable relationship, both are unemployed, he's had run ins with the law, been through the court system so many times the past years, she's got a colorful background and now their pregnant.

My husband and I are the only stable thing they have in their lives at the moment. She initially wanted to abort, but thankfully changed her mind so they are keeping the baby - she's about 7 or 8 weeks now. 

Please pray firstly that they would find their way to the Lord. Please pray that my son will get a job - he has a chance of getting one through some connections we have, so this would really help them right now. My husband and I cannot financially carry this burden by ourselves, so we will need my son to get a job to pitch in. They currently live with friends in a very poor area and need to get out into their own place, so prayer for this would also help.

Please pray for a healthy baby as she had been drinking a few times before she knew she was pregnant.

Please pray for me as I am the only saved person in our family and I cannot see how we are going to do this without the Lord, it won't be possible. Please also pray for their relationship and that their hearts would be receptive towards the Lord and towards me when I share the gospel with them, which I do very gently when I get a chance.

I get along with her really well, so please pray that she will allow me to be part of this baby's life and take her under my wing as mentor also - her mom is a heavy drinker/alcoholic who is mentally unstable, so she is going to need my support.

As the Lord leads, please pray. This is a huge mountain that I am facing and I am staring at it as it overshadows me.

Thank you and blessings

esther

Please pray for someone we know. She's 21, has a 2 week old baby and was in a horrific vehicle accident last night, currently in Intensive Care and paralyzed. She and her partner don't know the Lord and he is struggling to cope, and so is everyone else affected. This has a direct impact on our family also, which I cannot give details about. 

She's undergoing major surgery in 12 hours and more will be known then regarding the extent of damage to her spine and neck. Please pray that the Lord will be merciful and restore her so that she can walk again. Also please pray for forgiveness towards everyone involved - this is probably going to be the hardest part.

esther

Thanks all. I realise that this is not coming from the Lord and that what I am currently facing is a huge attack of the enemy on my marriage and family life as well as my walk with the Lord.

My focus needs to change back to the Lord and not  on my problems, and I have not been doing a good job of letting go...

Thank you for the support and prayers, and all the encouragement.

May the Lord bless you all abundantly.

Much love

es.

Don't know where to start, so I'll just make this short.

I don't know how I feel about my husband anymore. Not sure if I love him, or not. Problems have been mounting up and it's not getting better. Yes, I make mistakes too, but (I know this sounds selfish) most of it is his fault. We've been married 19 years this year and together 21 years. I don't want to give up or run away from our problems, but I am at a crossroad where I honestly have to face reality - things are not getting better! He's not saved and we have endless problems with our children. He's a good father but I am the emotional punching bag when he cannot deal with the problems. Never thought I would ever say this, but my heart wants to leave. Our children are still at home (20 and 17 years old) and I would not even think about leaving while they are still at home....that could be for another ten years! Hopefully in time things will change.

Please pray for my husband's salvation as this would be the first step in the right direction. Please pray for my children's salvation. Please pray that the Lord will guard my heart as it is currently not in the right place. There is so much more to ask for, but I would have to write a book!

Thanks all and blessings.

Es.

Please pray for my stepdaughter. She is 23 and engaged to be married to another woman, next year November. She has asked my husband to give her away at the altar and wants us to pay half the wedding. I know it's hubby's daughter and I love her like she's my own (known her since she was 3), but I cannot accept this marriage or relationship at all. 

This is influencing my marriage as I told hubby there is no way that I am contributing financially to this wedding. He said he would, although he does not approve of it either, but it is his daughter and he faces losing her if he speaks out how he feels. He does not want to lose her so said he would help pay for the wedding - I said no...

Am I doing the right thing here? Am I causing strife between them? I don't know what to do. I actually really like her partner (the other woman), and she's really nice to get along with, but my beliefs and what God says about homosexuality is what I need to focus on, but am I doing it the wrong way, am I going about this wrong?

Please pray that the Lord will intervene and break up this relationship and let them see the sin for what it is. Please pray for their salvation and that they would come to repentance. Also please pray for hubby and I as we are feeling the pressure in our own marriage from me not wanting to financially contribute to this wedding. At this stage I want nothing to do with it and although it's still over a year away, I do not want any part of it. Please pray that the Lord will show me what to do so that He may be glorified.

es

Thanks Chloe!

So if I understand this correctly:

First part:

the Israelites were under the oppression of the Midianites for 7 years. The bull was 7 years old. The age of the bull is symbolising the end of a 7 year of tyranny from the Midianites (kill/sacrifice the bull = end of the 7 year oppression)

Second part:

Observation 1:  The "second bull" - the first bull was most likely being fattened for sacrificing to Baal, which would mean it was "unclean" to sacrifice to the Lord, therefore the second bull was fit to be sacrificed.

Observation 2: The first bull was sacrificed by Gideon for himself, and the second for the sins of the people - he needed to be clean first before he could bring sacrifices for the people.

Observation 3: The second bull = symbolic of the second Adam, which is Jesus

Thoughts?