Big Time

That pic is funny! Thanks, folks. God really is good to us. I don't deserve squat, yet He takes care of me anyway.

I'm 35. I'm SO old! I found out today that I got the job I have been wanting for years at a wonderful facility. Thank you, Lord, for thinking of little old me!

What inspirational stories from all of you! That Randy Watters is a rock. I loved reading his site. Here in the deserts of Southern California, there are a lot of cults.

OK. I've been having a tantrum for a few days and finally just let it all out in the men's forum earlier today. I'm lucky I don't get banned from all the stuff I wrote in there, so don't look. I went for a drive and ate some junk food and listened to music for awhile and I feel better. I haven't felt this mellow in years. I think just having someone willing to listen helped me, as did your prayers. You don't really need to raise your hands or anything, but thank you for thinking of me, whoever you are. Jason

It was supposed to be sarcasm. I'm not ashamed of the kind of women I'm attracted to, and defy the worldly definition of beauty, but it doesn't matter, because I've never even come close to meeting anyone who wasn't histrionic or just plain nuts something. I'm going to post more about it in the mens forum in a few minutes. There's a lot more to my issues that I'm showing here.

That's the way it should be, but I've yet to ever meet anyone like that. For some reason, the only females I've ever known are attracted only to big obnoxious jerks. If a man is nothing but a nice guy, they get bored with you because you don't challenge them or some junk like that. This is what Christian girls have told me. it's like they all have the battered wife syndrome or something. It's really frustrating.

I know He will. I think my issues and my need to talk to other Christians about them are part of His plan.

Beautiful poem. You guys really are smart and good to talk to.

Don't I know it. They're still mysterious and have those womanly ways that I wish I could marry. But they're all "just friends" and they marry jerks who order them around, then whine to me about it because they know I will listen. I cut most of them off because I just can't take it anymore.

The reason women like jerks instead of nice guys is the issue here. The theory is basically this: Jerks come off as having confidence, so a woman will naturally see him as being a protector and be drawn to him. Nice guys who put women on a pedestal and never dare to disagree with them just seem like wimps. So they fall into the "just friends" category, all the while believing that they stand out as husband material among all the jerks the woman knows. I didn't know any of this until recently and was in denial of it for awhile, but it has merit.

Why did you start it here, instead of the mens forum? Just asking.

DAVE! You're a wonderful friend. I copied your list Humble -- I was always humble, but also too humble in the face of injustices and it hurt me Generous -- I was always generous, even when I shouldn't have been Brave -- I was a coward, thinking I needed to avoid conflict to be blessed Strong -- meh, it depended on the situation. Just -- I tried to be fair, but was taken advantage of a lot to make sure I was. Loving -- Love was easy, Tough love when you have to tell people "no" was hard Hard Working -- Yup Kind -- oh yeah, too kind sometimes. They all are found in Christ. All the Characteristics that are Noble. I just took the whole humble and meek thing to far and never stood up for what was right the way Jesus did. I think that after I absorb and accept everything from my past that made me a sissy, I will get better. It was God who led me to the answers that I needed, so I know he's guiding me now.

Yeah, I know. I don't want to be like this anymore. I used to be sad, now I'm angry. I want to be happy now. I want to go back to marveling at women and how beautiful and graceful they are. I want that tingly feeling to come back when I get to talk to a pretty girl, instead of resenting them. If even one had ever given me a chance, I probably wouldn't be like this. But "nice guys" have no confidence and try to hard to stand out as a gentleman. Who knew that would actually repel females?

I know it's a generalization, but I'm really hurting and put it like that as a way of lashing out. I sought help from a wise man at my church, and that's what he told me, anyway.

I wish I could, too. I'm from TN and go back there to visit a lot. Maybe someday. Something went wrong with my upbringing, and I found that I was not alone. I'm sure there are plenty of men who turned out OK, even with the absence of a father figure in their homes ans churches ans schools. But enough if us didn't that it causes concern.

Meh. I do like them, but I also don't like them.

To answer this topic. I don't like them. They want me to be one of their girlfriends, and I just won't be that any more. It's devastating to a man to have many friends that are girls, but no girlfriends. What a fool I used to be.

I really like the Godmen's message. I normally stay away from any weird religious group, even Christian ones (I'm non-denominational, you know) but the "no more Christian nice guy" book really hit home with me. I was too much of a nice guy to the point that I was miserable. I also used to feel so guilty about the things that made me a man. My father died when I was 7 and I was raised by my mother and sister and grandmother, so I never had a chance. You'd have to read the book to fully understand just why. I was shocked to learn just how much that Jesus would get up in peoples faces if they did something wrong, while still being meek and kind and compassionate and just wonderful towards everyone else. I also was thrilled to see that He didn't avoid conflict in the face of injustice or hypocrites. I was always just told to turn the other cheek and just give unto Caesar, and then I'd be blessed. So I was a wimp and a coward. I was nothing like Jesus. This realization has left me with a resentment of females that I need to deal with. There is no excuse for the way most of them treat a nice guy like I used to be. The female definition of what a man should be is just wrong, and when boys are brought up by women in churches and schools where there a few men around, the grow up to be weak men.

Hey, thanks!

Song of Songs! Any of you guys ever look at Godmen dot org? One of the founders wrote "No More Christian Nice Guy" to address this very issue. It's controversial among Christians. I brought it up at another Christian site, and it was promptly removed by a moderator, which caused all kinds of drama. That's why I'll let you guys look for yourselves instead of trying to explain it here.