thank you all for taking time to respond !!
first off, i ordered the book (from the link provided).
yes, i need to be able to totally give it up...
i think i've been successful! as today, i have this inner peace i haven't had in weeks.
a little more background...
i've been at my job for 18 years. that represents a big chunk of my adult life.
the only way i can complete all my work is to work (from home) on saturdays and sundays.
i did that last year. i'm not doing this anymore. i've made the decission that a) sundays are for going to church b) saturdays are for other stuff. trying to keep it brief, i told mr boss that i need help, and i wanted to hire a temp to get me caught up. his daughter works here, but she doesn't have the skills (software knowledge) and i would have to tuter her for months until she is able to work independently, which would take me from my work and only make be further behind. he was insulted, and said that he felt i implied that she is stupid. perhaps what he's angry with is that i told him it breaks my heart that she has shown not a spot of interest in anything that i do (i'm sec / tres / office mgr), and that's why i've not tried to train her to do anything. i took a good hard look and thought to myself, what am i giving up my life for, mr boss' two kids' financial security, these two adults that don't have it in them to carry the torch? mr boss has been the kindest and most generous person, and he feels like i've put a knife in his heart, that i've insulted his daughter. hence all the tension.
so, today, i have peace. today i feel in my heart it is time for a career change, to find a job that doesn't involve money, where my efforts don't feed the greed of others. i know there is something out there, and i know God will get me hooked up. this will happen in His time, and in His way. in the mean time, i will behave in a manner fitting the christian woman i want to be, in a way that pleases my Father and my Jesus; i will be patient and i will listen and obey; i will let God's light shine brightly in me for all to see !
again, thanks all for your input.
els