Chiquita

Sets us free... Free... I wanna know what's like to have a loving family. I want to know what it's like to have support. I wanna know what it's like to be loved by another human. Can I be set free of wanting these things? You shouldn't be set free of wanting these things, Chiquita, because wanting them is normal. Think of bringing people into your life who will love you. Join a good church, work at meeting a godly man, make God your parent (He is anyway) and do for others who are hurting. You will see a remarkable change in your life once you focus on those less fortunate. You have experienced the bad and come through and you can help others do so as well. You come across a good and caring person; show this to others and the things you need will come to you. I've done all of those things. As I have been waiting on God to give me a blessing, I have worked on a bachelor's degree and I am trying to buy a house this year too. You see, I don't desire materialistc blessings. I never have. What I want, only love can give me. And of course I am thankful for my son but all he does lately is see me cry. I am tired of my son seeing me cry. I have tried so hard to hide it but it is at a point where I can't anymore. This is where peole just don't know what to say anymore because I have tried and done it ALL and it almost seems as if He has ignored me. This is between me and Him anyway but I appreciate any prayers.

Sets us free... Free... I wanna know what's like to have a loving family. I want to know what it's like to have support. I wanna know what it's like to be loved by another human. Can I be set free of wanting these things?

You sound almost exactly like me Chiquita. I was extremely sexually abused growing up. When I told my kindergarden teacher a meeting was called, but things were different back then, and nothing came of it, except from that day forth my parents ignored me as punishment for telling on them. To this day I don't know how to feel loved by people (except by my daughter), and I feel so unclean I take sometimes up to 6 showers a day (my record). I, like you, was a very innocent and good child and teen. And I sort of turned my back on God by not thinking about Him. I mean, I knew He existed, I just kinda ignored Him. Like how my parents ignored me. Til someone gave me a book about the power of praise. It changed my life. I have learned to praise Him in the storm. Learn to do this as well Chiquita. It brings about change. Believe me. Give a listen to Casting Crowns "Praise You In The Storm." EXCELLENT ministering song I never got involved in the occult. But once you repented God forgave you. I hope you are not experiencing any guilt for that anymore, cause that is yet another trick from the enemy. God cast that sin into the ocean. And don't forget Jesus' blood is more powerful than the enemy. I noticed that when I go through tribulations, yes, God is there with me, and I have to listen to Him more and try to block out all the outside noise. But besides being with me, He also is strengthening me by having me work out some of the issues as well. If He came to my aid every single time for all my issues, I would be a pretty weak individual. In His love, He asks me to do my best, and promises to give me His strength to do so. Because He loves me, He disciplines. I would rather have a life of turmoil with God blessing my acceptance of His correction , then to have a seemingly stressless, hedonistic life, without Him in it. *scarey emoticon* *shudders* I hope this helps you at least a little Chiquita. I've found, for me, that praising Him through the storm, and exceptance of His loving discipline for me, is what helps me live through this mess I call my life. Not saying you're being disciplined, that has just been some of my experiences. Not all though, cause sometimes bad things just happen to good people. Cause the enemy hates the childrem of God. Like your sexual abuse. That was not a punishment for somethlng you did. That was a purely evil act straight from Hell. Praying for you Chiquita. PS--Once again, check out Casting Crowns "Praise You In The Storm" -- the bridge: I lift mine eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from ? My help comes from the Lord, Creator of Heaven and Earth !! Hmmm.... now that sounds familiar....... Do you believe that God loves you? You see, nothing but very bad things have repeatedly happened to me though out my life. You could write a Lifetime film about it. People say He is Holy and loves us all unconditionally, then why has He allowed all of this in my life? I don't believe He loves me anymore. If He did, then there would be proof. Do you believe God loves you?

Thank You all so much for all of your prayers, encourgaments, and scriptures. I truly feel better today after a long time with the Lord yesterday =)

Thank you all so much!!! Every single one of your replies spoke to me in different ways. I'm going to reread these replies in hopes that the encouragment will sink in. I no longer want to feel defeated. I know I am a new creation in Christ and need to keep claiming that. I have been praying with scripture lately and I am hoping that those prayers are being answered. I cannot handle another tribulation right now when it seems everything is about to make a turn for the better, FINALLY. A friend of mine told me that this spirit of fear that is on me has to be prayed off of me; could all of you please join us in prayer? It's almost tormenting me. I have been praying and praying without ceasing. I need this to come to an end already. I think you were right when you said that I am trusting my feelings alone... I am going to work on that. Trusting the Lord is one thing that I struggle with. Silly, hu? The one spirit that I can trust, I'm struggling with. I do not mind suffering for Christ as I carry my cross but I need the Lord know that I am very, very tired. I need to find rest, somewhere and some how. I need my "batteries" refreshed. I know scripture also states that the Lord sees my needs and will provide - I pray He come quickly. Thank You all so Much!!!! Chiquita

I have a problem here that I am struggling with. I need some solid encouragment and advice. Here is my dilemma: I accepted Jesus when I was 11. I grew up being sexually, verbally, and mentally abused. My mother threw me out when I was a teenager. She would not sign for me to go to college even when I was 18. She made so many mistakes that I cannot even begin to explain. I always asked God to help her to stop drinking so her abuse could at least lessen but she never did. I turned my back on God in my 20's. It seemed as if he never answered my prayers and bad things continued to happen to me. I grew up feeling very, very unloved by everyone. It's almost as my intentions were so good because I believed in Jesus that nobody believed me. They thought I was manipulative and a fraud when in reality; I was just that innocent. I was always being accused of things that weren't real. I always tried to do good but bad things always happened so thus I turned my back on God. I began to do a lot of really bad things - All the things I was accused of, I became. I even turned to the occult and wanted nothing to do with God. Even though I still spoke to Him, I just assumed He still never listened to me so I went about trying other things to "protect" myself. After really bad experiences doing that as well (DUH), I repented and turned back to Jesus. Here is my question; I was under the wrath of God because I was backsliding so bad things were happening to me. Now that I have submitted to God's will for me and asked Jesus to forgive me wholeheartedly; do bad things stop? I mean, from your walk, does that mean that I am now have protection that I did not have before? I place Jesus is my life first now and have repented of ALL sinful things. Of course, I am still a sinner but I am no longer in sin. Do God's promises in the bible now apply to me? I don't know if God loves me. It says that He does but so many bad things have happened to me that I am left wondering... How does He show it? Through protection? Through blessings? Through a spouse? Family? I don't feel I have any of these. I feel alone with only Jesus by my side. I am full of fear because I do not believe that He will protect me. I'm tired of tribulations and trials in my life and need rest real bad. What am I not understanding here? Can anyone help me? Can you give me examples of how things changed once God began to intervine in your life?

thank you! he is my uncle - i loved him dearly and want to set him free while witnessing. I've written him a letter as he lives over 2000 miles away besides, its easier for me like this anyway!

Blien I would have to take Charitow's side on this matter. Forgiveness isn't something we show, for example my sister was delivered and she didn't have to go to my step dad, she had to forgive him in her heart. Same with me, forgiveness isn't a show, it's a heart thing, when You hold sins against another, that creates a spot in your heart where the enemy can latch on it. You releace this stronghold by submitting the sin to God, and letting it go, no longer holding it against them. It has nothing to do with telling the one who caused the stronghold you forgive them, but everything to do with actually forgiving them in your heart. So based on this logic. What if God acted the same way with us? What if Jesus had made the sacrifice and still taught us that we are to pay for our past sins? Isn't that what you do with a person when you don't tell them you forgive them? I would never never never do that with anyone. If you hurt me Josh and we were family members yet I didn't speak to you for years because of what you did.. even though YOU yourself approached me in apology. Who is the person in the right? Sure I can forgive you in my heart but to not tell you? That holds you in bondage by demons too. What you guys are suggesting is evil.. I'm sorry to say it so bluntly but it is. I dont believe I did anything wrong - I was the victim HOWEVER, he kneeled down next to my chair and begged me for forgiveness in tears and I shut him down BIG TIME - He deserves to know I forgave him and I have to tell him if I want to be in obedience. I agree Blien. That wound might still be legal because I did NOT forgive him when he asked. It is basic and I am going to right the wrong. I am writing him a letter and mailing it this weekend. I need my friend to interpret it in spnaish for me because my spanish is not so good. Thanks guys! And I'm sorry this started a disagreement but it seems like everyone is just so passionate about the Lord that they bump heads! Kinda good in a way

That was an AWESOME prayer! Thank you! It brought me to tears because I felt the joy and freedom of the Lord in it! I think I will read that book! And keep this prayer... I'm claiming victory over this TONIGHT - IN JESUS NAME!

Isaiah, you just summed it up in a nutshell! Yes, it is most often during praise/worship and prayer. And that sentence about lust just cleared a lot up for me! I'm going to read it daily along with the verses. Thank you so much! You really helped me out. Praise the Lord - I am going to work on my forgiveness and taking the thoughts captive and giving them to our Father! I feel good! Thank the Lord! And thank you again, everyone who helped! Chiquita =)

was this your step father or your uncle? you said, "I believe I have forgiven him..." but there are 2 that need forgiveness. if you think God is leading you to contact one of them then you should. but be sure you feel completely safe if you do this!!! and be sure it is God telling you to do this and "protocol." only God knows what your healing consists of. to you! I believe I have forgiven them both. It took years to come to this but it is true. However, I do feel conviction about not forgiving my Uncle when he asked me to forgive him when I was 13. I was not ready - I was a kid. I know better now. That might be it. I'm going to keep on praying for direction. I know God IS in control as He is in other parts of my life right now. He is so faithful and I am nestled closely to Him. I'm going to do some more serious prayer on it! Thank you!

Wow! That was powerful Blien! Thanks a lot. I will pray on that. I believe I have forgiven him but he asked me when I was him when I was 13 years old for forgiveness and I told him that I had to live with what he did to me so he has to live with it too. I was a stupid kid and knew nothing. He wept like a baby and left the room. I havent spoken to him since. Maybe I need to find him and talk to him.

I need some help here

I said I didn't think the last dream was of God because the content was so disturbing. I said in my first dream I felt fear for God's wrath, like we should not fear of evil. As far as eating anything... Let's just lay this to rest already, I hadn't eaten anything in HOURS before I went to bed as I didn't go to sleep until 11:30ish. Would you like to know what I did all day and examine that??? It was an all night dream because it went from one to the other to the other - the dreams obviously were not three hours long each - I didn't realize I had to explain that either because I though when I posted this, I would get constructive advice, thoughts, scriptures, experiences - not nonsense like questioning that I might have eaten a bad piece of pizza before bed time. I think this might be all it is - Although the last dream was ugly - it might have been God allowing the enemy to influence me in my dream to show me what abomination I could possibly commit if I don't get to praying - I might have already opened the door in error. I am only human - a sinner. I am still in prayer for this and will not simply dismiss this dream ESPECIALLY since that is EXACTLY what He was warning about in the dream - that we ignore HIM!!!! Only HE can judge me. Thank you all for the constructive thoughts - CHIQUITA

I'm really trying to piece it together, which is why I posted it here to get people's thoughts on it. The last part of it really threw me off though, making me believe that it was not of God. How could I be doing something so disgusting and enjoying it in my dream??? That part threw me totally off. Why would God show me something He is displeased of me by showing it to me like that??? He usually doesn't speak to me in that way... sigh* I'll be praying! THANK YOU!!! i sometimes get warned by him and almost near to death...maybe it is a help: we had a woman in our church a deep jesus loving one but also walking in earthly way.. she had a dream where she was standing at a crossroad and was running the wrong way...came to the hell felt the heat, the fire, the smoke and the smell and jesus showed her where it leads if his people don't turn from their wicked ways and comeing back in his total radical image of him....when she awoked she was feeling the burning about whole the day long..physically and we prayed about it and got, that is was true and a deeper warning.. god himself isn't doing to fear or scarre us that way but he let the evil tread us if we leave his protecting shield.S.o.S. :91 another passage to ur dreams 1.Cor.10:14-22 don't be affraid it also can be that the evil want to scarre u away from the right way and is twisting gods real being... please keep praying.. talk to ur pastor and don't stay for ur own by that oki?! GBU You just made me realize something. Maybe that abomination that I will not even talk about is something that God wants me address. Maybe He is giving me a wake up call and telling me that He doesn't like the thoughts I have entertained and wants me to repent of it - I promise you, I have NEVER committed this sin but what if thinking about it leads me to one day do so...??? Maybe God is warning me to get it together - repent and ask for forgiveness. I was thinking how can a person actually entrain this thought and then do it... I think thoughts like those opens the door, if you know what I mean. Maybe God is giving me a serious warning that if I do it again, I can open a door to actually committing the sin.... ? This makes sense to me hence His wrath in the dream.

I TRULY do not have such an active imagination as to dream like this. Usually, I don't dream much. Only once a night and something very short - like just a few minutes. THIS???? This was something else. I'm praying on it and not going to stop until I clear it up with God. Maybe it was an unclean spirit tapping into my dreams, maybe it wasn't. Only GOD knows!!!

I'm really trying to piece it together, which is why I posted it here to get people's thoughts on it. The last part of it really threw me off though, making me believe that it was not of God. How could I be doing something so disgusting and enjoying it in my dream??? That part threw me totally off. Why would God show me something He is displeased of me by showing it to me like that??? He usually doesn't speak to me in that way... sigh* I'll be praying! THANK YOU!!!

It's actually made me very upset so I know it was not of God. I do think however, that the enemy does try to attack you in your dreams. At first I woke up angry that I have spent the latter part of my life trying to please God and have still somehow fallen short. My intentions are good. I pray every time I get tempted. I put thing on God's alter so that He can take them over. I try and try til I exhaust myself at night... I pray and pray and pray... Then I stopped fussing and thought to myself every time you have dreamt of God before, you have woken up feeling full of joy. This was NOT of God but a mixture of my own thoughts about scripture's interpretation, yes- things I have read about recently, and quick possibly an unclean spirit trying to trick me into thinking there is no redemption. I was almost upset with God this morning, that's why I had to stop and pray and pray. But what a weird dream!!! It was an all night long dream!!! And a very vivid dream too. They just don't seem to tire of attacking the mind, do they?!? Thank you for your post! It made sense with what I was already contemplating. Except for the last part - I was trying to understand how some people could do that abomination and I believe the enemy was trying to condemn me for it by using scripture against me. There is no part of me that I was contemplating committing this sin, I was just trying to understand how someone can think it and then actually commit it!!! And this was just recent too!

I am putting this discussion here bcz I don't know where else to put it. I'm no claiming it is a prophecy - that is my disclaimer. Last night I had a series of dreams that were all connected - I woke up 2 times in the middle of the night and had 4 dreams in between. Here they go: I was in the middle of a discussion with my sister, her husband, and others - we were talking about God. In the sky there was a big cloud and the face of a man in the middle - it was God and he was looking down at us and he was listening. He was a supreme being that was a spirit, not a man and in my dream, I feared Him like we all should fear His wrath. We were discussion the Bible and it's meaning - this is when I had a vision in the middle of the dream - I saw men dressed like they dressed back when Jesus walked the earth. They were duplicating the Bible by hand and they were discussing changes to make. These changes were then written and the original content of the Word was lost amongst the men in translation. Then I saw it being done again and again over time. God told me nobody is free of this., every man on earth that ever lived had changed the Bible. I looked down in my hands and I had a form that said "adjustment", it was done and completed... I too had done it. There were tons of people around me and they all too had changed the Bible. God said you talk amongst yourself but NO ONE ASKS ME. You ask each other the meaning of the Bible but NO ONE ASKS ME. He aid this about 3 times in my dream. I felt as if God was attentive to us and our discussions yet, WE were the ones ignoring HIM. Then, I saw preachers and Pastors through out time preaching to others on alters the word and they too had changed the Bible to fit their own agenda and were teaching it as such. Then I walked out a building and saw a big crucifix on the building and it was under construction. As if the church were making changes to Jesus. The next dream I had was of a city - now the way the world is today. I saw people coming and going to and fro - they all were full of sins and abominations. They were all stressed and in pain - they all prayed to God yet they never repented. They prayed to God but they never listened. When God would answer them or command them, they ignored Him. Not one was free of this, from Pastors and Preachers to everyday commoners. Then suddenly, I was watching a group of 5 people, both men and women and they were at work in the corporate world. Their boss called him into his office for a meeting. I could feel the fear thee people had towards this boss as this boss was a not a nice man. He continued to tell them that he had found a way to make the cookies they were manufacturing quicker - he was going to put an ingredient in it and the staff was shocked and scared. This ingredient was going to hurt the children and make them sick - all that ate it but the boss didn't care, he knew but he didn't care! In fact, he was happy that he was going to produce more cookies faster and therefore sell them faster, making more money. His staff was terribly afraid of him, his idea, and the kids that were going to get sick because of this ingredient. I got the feeling that this ailment was not a simple tummy ache, if you know what I mean. God was there listening to this and he was angry at this man! Then God said to me, "I will take away all I have given them and they will live in caves again". Then I saw the man that was the boss of that company, he sat in the same spot where the city he lived in before had been. But this time he was in what seemed to be just land like in the middle of nowhere - he was in a big tree. He had carved a whole in the tree big enough that it seemed like a cave and this is where he dwelled. He was wearing some kind of animal skin and he was barefoot. He just sat there with his elbow on his knee and his head resting on his fist. He seemed very bored. God had taken every thing he was given. Then I saw more and more "cavemen", almost as if they began repopulating and more and more trees. Then they began to create community centers. And then more and more clutters of trees were inhabited - more and more created community centers in the middle of their clutters. Then, this next part confuses me! I was watching this happen and suddenly my sister stood next to me, she looked at me and said, "this is so weird! I have been having these feelings of really wanting to go visit community center 16." she said, "number 16 community center". I woke up - I was up for like 3 hours before I fell back asleep just talking to God about what I had just dreamt. I finally fell back asleep and immediately began to dream again - Again I see the same thing. People walking to and fro full of sin, praying to God, and yet ignoring His replies. Suddenly, I heard Him say, "This is how I will do it", I was on a street and suddenly people around me began to scream and run, "the floods are coming! the floods are coming!" they ran but couldn't out run the massive wave - that can only be described as a tsunami. This massive wave of water flooded the streets and people were clinging on to furniture to try and stay afloat but eventually began to tire themselves out and gave in to the waters. Little by little, everyone drowned including all the children and myself. Then, I was in another side of town and again, people were on the streets and began to scream, "the floods are coming, the floods are coming". I was filled with fear and cried out to the Lord, not without my son, please let me get to my son! I was by my job because I saw my boss there too and my son was in daycare. The waters came rushing quickly and high and I was submerged with water a everyone around me. I woke up gasping for air. I was scared to death almost when I woke up again. I just began to talk to God, why God? Isn't there just ONE person worth saving? There has got to be one person in this world who i not like this, who has repented, who their their best! Then I asked, what about me? What abomination have I done that I have not repented from that will cause me to drown... ...I fell asleep again and this is the one that really, really scares me. I was doing something in my dream that would make anyone sick to their stomach. And I was enjoying it! I woke up feeling sick! I told God, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!! But He showed me that once in a while, I watch something on TV or see something that reminds me of this abomination and I think of it. And I think of doing it, and I get disgusted. Even though I have NEVER DONE IT AND WOULD NEVER DO IT - I am guilty of it because I did not care for my thoughts - I did not gauge my eye out, I allowed the thought to enter my mind and therefore, I had committed the sin and was just a guilty as everyone else that had committed the sin. I have spent most of the day in prayer. Searching for answers from God. Thoughts??

Hey you! I'm so glad to see things are better. I became overwhelmed with chills when I read your update. Listen, you may want to find a Celebrate recovery at your church or see if there is one in your area. You don't have to have an addiction to a substance to find peace with this. Get an accountability partner and work through the 12 steps but replace the addiction part with "anger". The 4th step, 8th and 9th steps will really help you with what you have been through in your life. The reason I know this is because it helped me and I have seen it help thousands of others in my lifetime. It's a completely Christ centered program so make sure it has that name attached to it before going to these meetings. Best of all, it's free so that's cheaper than therapy lol I felt implored to tell you that it will change your life to get all these things out. Awhile ago, I attended a church service where the pastor talked about forgiveness and old hurts from childhood. I had just been talking about how I couldn't forgive my mother not even a week prior in my backyard with another Christian. I swore he was in the backyard listening in LOL! Well, he said that we need to be warriors for the Lord. He said something along the lines of "Can you imagine all of us going out to battle with all of these hurts and wounds from the past that we could be clearing up and taking care of? While the people we aren't forgiving are going on with their lives and we are sitting in bitterness, hurting over it. We need to step out in faith and take care of these things so we can be putting on the Full Armor!" Anyways, to make a long story short, it ended in the debt being cancelled, etc etc like I shared with you above. And then he had us bow our heads and close our eyes. I was already in tears by this point but then he had us do something that I never expected. He said "If you are ready tonight to forgive these debts, say out loud. Mom, dad, I forgive you." I am getting chills as I am typing this. I said it out loud with the pastor and for the first time, I honestly meant it. I bawled like a little baby. That night, I thanked God for taking that from me. Then, I had a dream about one of my childhood friends. I honestly had no idea that I was angry with her and had never forgiven her. She always sat on the side lines and went with the crowd while they were all terrorizing me, making fun of me, she just kept her mouth shut. I didn't even go to her wedding when she got married and didn't congratulate her when she was pregnant with her first child, that's how angry I was with her. Well, I woke up and was BOILING with anger, I mean just boiling to the point where I had that expression on my face that no matter what I did, I couldn't stop feeling that way. I closed my eyes and said "Father, thank you for showing me this. I can't forgive her on my own. I want to, really I do but I need your help." A few minutes later, it was gone. I was shocked, amazed and overwhelmed all in one. I praised the Father. It was like after forgiving my parents, He literally said "Okay daughter, you are ready to be shown the other areas where you need to forgive and I am right here to see you through it." Keep me posted. I love you sis!

Thank you all for your replies. Jamilea: I really appreciate you! I think I need to do that, sit and meditate with the Lord on what debt I feel is owed to be and cancel it. That really spoke to me. I am going to work on that. Since I posted this, my anger has subsided a bit. It must be everyone's prayers. It's just so hard to think why I have been put through so much. The enemy has really tried hard to keep me down. You would not believe some of the stuff I have been through. I could write a novel and it would be considered close to a thriller... lol Have you guys seen the trailer to the new movie coming out called, "Precious"? Well, the way that girl feels is exactly the way I do. I really feel God gave me my son to show me how much He loves me. When my son is not home - which is so rarely - I feel so lost. I think to myself, now what? I don't know if I would even be alive if I didn't have him. I know I have to find forgiveness, as the Lord forgave me - I just have to get there!!! And then once I find it, I have to go down the line of people I have anger with... Well, I know some I have already forgive through love. Its just those that KEEP hurting me -my mom- are the ones that are hard to forgive. Any lil negative comment can ignite all the anger I have for her. It's just a constant reminder of how low she thinks of me. She never loved me. If I were to tell you stories believe me, you would think that as well. I'd love to keep in tough! I'll send you a note with my private email address.

Sorry for a late reply. I thought something was wrong with my modem and it turned out that I just forgot to pay my bill Thank you all for you replies. You guys are so awesome. I do have a great job and all of that. I thank God for it all the time but while others may be struggling financially, most likely they have someone that loves them - a partner, a friend. I do have a lil boy of age 3. I thought I mentioned that, sorry. He gives me a lot of joy however, being a single mother only makes you lonelier. Only single parents will probably understand that one. It's hard to explain it... It's like when he does something really sweet or funny, or learns something new.... I wanna share that joy with someone and tell someone what happened but... who??? I used to have an addiction to alcohol too but God delivered me. What I realized is that I was "self-medicating" myself with liquor to not have to deal with all the anger which was actually pain in disguise. I was numbing myself during my time off while I had nothing to do. Now I am sober so the anger that I have been bottling up inside has shown its face, and it's not a pretty one. This is what the conclusion God has lead me to this week as I still go to group therapy for alcoholics. It must be all of your prayers. I ask God to forgive me for this anger and for cursing people in my head as this is not the person I want to be so I try to pray and pray over it. I do have hobbies like Bible Study and I like to surf the web for good videos/mp3s of good Pastors across the country. I'm trying my best to be still and wait. It just gets hard sometimes. I have good friends at work but they are colleagues. I take my son places like the zoo on the weekends but he is still just a baby. All in all, thanks to your prayers, I understand now why I have been so angry... because I'm sober, once I realized that I began to let go of the anger. So Jesus and I have been talking a lot about everything that has happened and everyday He allows me to understand something new. God gave her - my mother - so many chances to repent and she didn't. Poor lady. I just feel sorry for her because she never got it.

Sir Gareth, I notice that you said things has gotten better so we praise God for that progress. You also said, that you have some issues that causes you to get very angry and I thing you mean your anger causes you to say, things that are wrong. One thing I do know and that is anger comes from the pain and wounds we get along our way. I've used this before on worthy that if I was to step on your toe it wouldn't take but a few seconds and you would respond to that pain in your toe and shove me off your toe. That is what happens to us we get hurt sometimes and as a result of that pain you'll start shoving every thing around even ranting and raving because of the pain your carrying from those issues. You are the only one who knows what those issues are but you. You have to let them go and get ahold of them issues and pull them up by the root if it is people or a person then you have to let any bitterness go and you'll notice a difference and experience the peace of God that passeth all understanding. oc . I'm angry because I am still alone. This is the main reason. I have not received my spouse yet. I see so many people around me that have love and completely take it for granted. It makes me so mad.