Sheryl&Jesus

Thanks Tryssa, I'm already on medication. I take two (different) anti-depressants, and a mood stablizer. I can't afford counseling. But I'm involved in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and it helps. Sheryl

I am so depressed. I have a mood disorder, and right now I'm having a crisis. It's because I'm being rejected at another website. It is so painful. I made a mistake on Sunday and posted a threat agianst myelf, and now my posts are being screened, and many of them rejected. And they even deleted a word from a Bible verse I quoted because it contained a word that is used in a sinful manner nowadays. It was the Word of God I was quoting. They've stifled me. I promised I wouldn't post anything like what I posted on Sunday, again, but still the constraints become more and more severe. Now I can't even post instant messages anymore. I feel so rejected. I can't quit crying. God's people can't accept me. Just because I have a mood disorder I have no control over. They say that Christians are the only ones who shoot their wounded. I don't know if it's true, but it feels that way tonight. Can I help it if I've ben dealt this hand?Can someone with diabetes help it if they have diabetes? Can a cripple help it if they can't walk? I don't feel like I belong anyplace in this world, or in the Christian community. Please pray for me. Sheryl

That was "Hebrew Idol" onelight. You're getting the two confused. Sheryl

Wayne, you used the 'safe' answer I see. Sheryl

You liked it that much, huh Marnie? Sheryl

Hi Datan, Did they show who won (or is that going to be later)? I got distracted towards the end and missed it. I want the David with the long last name to win. I can't think of his last name. Maybe it's 'Archilet' or something like that. Sheryl

Hi Chiquita, I am so sorry for all that you have gone through. I can't imagine the pain that must have caused. I'm not sure I can offer any advise, but I do want to share my thoughts with you. I agree with the other comments that have been made that forgiveness will set you free. But forgiveness is hard. So hard, when you've experienced a lot of pain. Have you had any counseling? It may take years of counseling before you are whole. I didn't experience near the amount of abuse you expereinced, but it was when my kids came along that I started to deal with my own childhood. I think having kids sometimes forces us to deal with our own issues because we're so afraid what happened to us will happen to them. We just have to trust God oftentimes. Because we can't be there for them all the time. I know, it's hard to trust God after the abuse He allowed us to suffer. But what else can we do? We do what we can and leave the rest to Him. Reminding ourselves that He loves them more than we do. When you were going through your abuse God was there. He saw it. Everything that happens to us gets sifted through His loving hands. It wasn't God's fault you suffered. It was your mom's fault. You can't discount the free will aspect of what happened. God gives us the freedom to do what we want (to an extent). He could have stopped your mom. But He didn't. And there's some questions that you may not get the answer to here on earth. We don't get all of our "why" questions answered. God can use you though to help others. You will be stronger because of what you went through (once you get through the healing process). It is a process. It's not going to happen over night. It took years for you to develop these emotional problems, and it will probably take years for you to heal (unless God performs a miracle). I'm praying that your healing will come soom. Hang in there chiquita. Oh, one other thing. About financial aid. I assume you're an American. In America, if you have children it's easier to get financial aid. I just graduated with an associates degree (in Human Services), and it was completely paid for with Federal grant money. I would not have gotten as much grant money as I did if I didn't have children. My chidren are grown now, but because they were both in college I was able to claim them as dependants. You can still achieve your dream! Go for it! Go to a nearby college and ask them what you need to do. I wish you well. Sheryl

Is anyone watching the American Idol finale? It's on right now (where I'm at). I was just wondering if anyone else is watching it. Who do you think will win? Sheryl