Search the Community

I don't know if this is the right forum for this. Some background first and then about my forewarning dreams/nightmares. I live in Washington State and about a mile from a small town. Outside my window I see spring coming to life. The buds on the magnolia bush outside my window are getting bigger and bigger each day. Soon the clematis will be in full bloom with white flowers trailing along the fence top. Then the second clematis will come out on the south end with blue flowers trailing along the fence top. The grass is bright green. The birds are chirping. The hummingbirds are diving down for dinner or breakfast or lunch or snacks. I haven't left my home except for T and doctors' appointments since 2011 when I started remembering that I had a different father and that he was a serial killer. My whole life changed then. I got PTSD from just remembering that. That's mind boggling to me that one could get PTSD from finding out these things. And that was on top of the PTSD from the abuse. So a quarantine is not that isolating for me. Life around me goes on. Now the quarantine because of COVID-19 has added a snag to my self-quarantine in that I've now got more anxiety. Fortunately my insurance covers telehealth appointments with my T. That's something new which started because the COVID-19 outbreak. Everything is covered because I have two insurances. I have my first appointment this week. Though video may be triggering. That remains to be seen. The most curious part of all of the pandemic is that I was forewarned about nine months ago that something was on the horizon. I had this dream, which I call a God given dream. Then I started praying. I had no idea what I was praying for or about. When I get these dreams I pray. I used to question them. And I didn't pray about them either until someone on a Christian support forum shared the same type of thing happening to her. I no longer question these dreams. I told my T about this one five months ago. So this was before anything happened with COVID-19. God awakens me in the middle of the night to pray or he won't allow me to sleep until I pray for specific aspects of what's happening right now. For some reason he put California on my heart and I prayed for hours each night. That started four months ago. Now I'm praying for specific people in the government. I find it interesting how God works in such mysterious ways. I don't believe my anxiety is as bad as it could be and I know that's because of being forewarned about this coming disaster. The dreams, more like nightmares, are disaster oriented and that immediately tells me something is going to happen. I'm always given a nine month warning. I don't know why that is. It just is. This started when I was a child. Of course then I didn't have a clue what they meant. I'd only see the dreams come to reality 9 months after having them. As a child they were specifically about what was going to occur. One time it was about tornadoes and I told my mother. She brushed off my concern because we didn't live in a tornado prone area. Exactly 9 months later there was a deadly tornado clustering in tornado alley. My mother and I were sitting in the family room watching TV when the newscast came on. My mother just stared at the TV and then looked over at me with the strangest look on her face. And I said, "See. The tornadoes happened just like I said they would." I even had a vivid detailed dream about how a family had survived by jumping into their bathtub/shower combo and pulling the shower curtain over them as their house was literally ripped off the ground from around them. The bathroom was the only remaining part of the house. And there on the news was that very detailed part of my dream. Now they are what I call disaster dreams/nightmares. It took me years to figure out the meaning of the different dreams that I have and figure out which was which and what to do with the information.