mts Posted June 5, 2009 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 71 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/13/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/12/1985 Share Posted June 5, 2009 i don't know what to think right now. Two years ago i thought of not speaking to my cousin who was like a brother to me for most of my life of thinking of not ever talking to him again because i'm not the same anymore. i'm in the same room thinking of never talking to him again. He has a family of his own right now. it seems i've too much wrong to even speak to him again. it's a point in my life where i'll be thinking of never speaking or being in the presance of people from my past anymore. not in a suicidal thoughts or anything. just letting people go. for good. You know, when Jesus told one guy to sell everything he had and follow christ. i just started thinking like that. everyone i've met, everyone from my family to just literally leave and never come back. almost literally a new being. I havn't got to thinkong of changing my name or anything but. jsut to let everything go. i mean everything. so far i've let my birthday go, i don't celebrate it anymore because i don't see the point. same with new year celebrations and thanks giving. i just don't see the point anymore. i'm still in baby steps gaining back the life God had for me and still confused about life right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HIS girl Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 It sounds like you are losing interest in things. This isn't good and you need to speak to someone. Jesus was referring to not letting anything interfere in your walk with God - total allegiance/loyalty to the Lord. Not letting material things become idols and treasures. (Mark 10 v 21: Jesus counsels the rich young ruler.) Jesus didn't mean turn your back on people and forget about them - no. Can you seek a Pastor or an elder to talk to? I think you need to soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebula Posted June 5, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 5,823 Topics Per Day: 0.75 Content Count: 45,870 Content Per Day: 5.93 Reputation: 1,897 Days Won: 83 Joined: 03/22/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/19/1970 Share Posted June 5, 2009 mts - I'm not understanding why you are wanting to cut yourself off from everyone and everything. The only things that the Lord requires us to cut ourselves off from are things which lead us into sin. Is your cousin a bad influence on you? Is this what you mean? Hey - If you are near or can get to Wasilla, there will be a Christian Native American gathering around the end of June. See here Or go to You Tube and search "Trail of Healing" Look for: "A series of reconciliation and restoration meetings to bring healing to Native and Non-Natives in Alaska." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted June 5, 2009 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 71 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/13/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/12/1985 Author Share Posted June 5, 2009 It sounds like you are losing interest in things. This isn't good and you need to speak to someone. Jesus was referring to not letting anything interfere in your walk with God - total allegiance/loyalty to the Lord. Not letting material things become idols and treasures. (Mark 10 v 21: Jesus counsels the rich young ruler.) Jesus didn't mean turn your back on people and forget about them - no. Can you seek a Pastor or an elder to talk to? I think you need to soon. I've already lost alot of interest in material things. For the past 4-5 years my life has been nothing but daydreams and video games. Video Games. music, and movies is all i have been doing besides having fellowship over the internet. Matieral things don't fill me up any more like it first did and my imagination/video game was all i had. I've said it on here once i'll say it again. this is the most i've opened up since 07 on this site. from the testimony and prayer request. this is the most fellowship i've had. i did nothing but watch youtube videos and trying to relive moments i missed when i didn't worry much. just daydreaming of reliving those moments. staring into the computer screen and doing nothing but daydream. mts - I'm not understanding why you are wanting to cut yourself off from everyone and everything. The only things that the Lord requires us to cut ourselves off from are things which lead us into sin. Is your cousin a bad influence on you? Is this what you mean? Hey - If you are near or can get to Wasilla, there will be a Christian Native American gathering around the end of June. See here Or go to You Tube and search "Trail of Healing" Look for: "A series of reconciliation and restoration meetings to bring healing to Native and Non-Natives in Alaska." No he was far from a bad influence on my life. We were like brothers. he has a family of his own. they don't need my bad/negitive attitude when he has a daughter to look after. i have too much problems to deal with and he doesn't need my problems when he could be having some of his own. People were getting hurt because of me, that's why i cut myself off from everyone. the only comfort i found during 07 was listening to Metallica, Disturbed, and megadeth riding around alone. it didn't last long though. i know listening to metallica isn't comfort. i just got angry and didn't care anymore. i didnt' care if i crashed, i didn't care even as my broke ski on one side i went full throttle to get away. see this picture here, the crate to the right, i've fallen asleep in there. i've gotten 2x4 wood placed next to the crate and used it as a bed in 2006 and fallen asleep there alomst everyday getting away from everyone. this place is the villge dump. i did this almost all summer. http://img269.imageshack.us/img269/9015/dscf3532.png i went there to get away from everyone. daydreaming and listening to music. The less i was around people the less likey they would get hurt. once 07-08 rolled around. that's where i started to think of just letting everyone go. youtube, daydreaming, and videogames took alot of my time from then till now. it doesn't work anymore. i havn't done anything for God since 2004. and i lived my life for God very shortly in 2004. since then i've done nothing worth nothing in any way. Like i said before. i don't know if i still have friendships or a promise(female) to keep. i really don't know. that's why today i just thought of letting everything go and becomeing a new being and starting from scratch. I don't belong to them anymore. and my cousin was just the first i've let go since. if i see him again, i'll just say hi, and won't go past it from there. he has a family now. he doesn't need me and my problems. people from my past don't need me and my problems. that the thought that comes to mind. the have their own problems to worry about. they don't need to add mine in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgedrw81 Posted June 5, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,823 Content Per Day: 0.33 Reputation: 36 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/10/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted June 5, 2009 At some point we may come to the point you are now.Want to leave everybody and go to start all over again.If you want to do it do it but make sure that at least one person knows what you are up to.You must decide where you want to go,what job you are prepared to do,where you will stay and especially a lot of prayer. You may discover that where you are now is the best place on earth for you. Pray to God and Jesus to guide you. Blessings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HIS girl Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 mts - Ok, I'll be straight with you. The music you are listening to is negative - period. The constant video games, YouTube videos, negative music etc is desensitising you to reality. The negativity has subconciously become your reality and reality has become "background music" so to speak. I have to tell you that listening to Megadeath, Metalica etc will only distort and thwart any kind of baby steps towards a Christian life that you may be wanting to take. I suggest you REPLACE that type of music with more positive lyrics. If you are into heavy metal, did you know that there are Christian metal bands around or heavy rock Chritian music? At least the lyrics will be more uplifting than negative lyrics by the secular metal bands and their allusions to suicide and death... Do you own a Bible? Keep reading it, pray (just talk to God in your own way), and ask God for His healing touch and guidance from the Holy Spirit and ask the Lord to put a new song in your heart. . I will pray these things for you. Also, man was not meant to be an island. Man needs fellowship. Your cousin's life has changed direction now and he has new responsibilities now that he has a daughter. It doesn't mean that he would no longer want to see you but if you are bringing bad vibes to the table, I can see his reluctance in not wanting your company right now. You really need to start new by replacing the negative stuff in your life with things that are positive and uplifting. You can do it slowly and WITH God's help. Remember, satan prowls around like a lion waiting for opportunities to pounce. Negativity is something he relishes with glee to infect every area of your life. You are already wanting to start afresh - so take the next step and ask for the LORDS help. He's waiting patiently for you to ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted June 5, 2009 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 71 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/13/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/12/1985 Author Share Posted June 5, 2009 At some point we may come to the point you are now.Want to leave everybody and go to start all over again.If you want to do it do it but make sure that at least one person knows what you are up to.You must decide where you want to go,what job you are prepared to do,where you will stay and especially a lot of prayer. You may discover that where you are now is the best place on earth for you. Pray to God and Jesus to guide you. Blessings Thinking how God's been able to use me in the past, i really don't think this village will be the last place i call home. Let alone the state. I do get scared of Gods plan for me when i think about what i have already done at the age from at least 15-17. i've done alot in those two years. after thinking about all of it....i really don't think i'll stay in Alaska anymore. mts - Ok, I'll be straight with you. The music you are listening to is negative - period. The constant video games, YouTube videos, negative music etc is desensitising you to reality. The negativity has subconciously become your reality and reality has become "background music" so to speak. I have to tell you that listening to Megadeath, Metalica etc will only distort and thwart any kind of baby steps towards a Christian life that you may be wanting to take. I suggest you REPLACE that type of music with more positive lyrics. If you are into heavy metal, did you know that there are Christian metal bands around or heavy rock Chritian music? At least the lyrics will be more uplifting than negative lyrics by the secular metal bands and their allusions to suicide and death... Do you own a Bible? Keep reading it, pray (just talk to God in your own way), and ask God for His healing touch and guidance from the Holy Spirit and ask the Lord to put a new song in your heart. . I will pray these things for you. Also, man was not meant to be an island. Man needs fellowship. Your cousin's life has changed direction now and he has new responsibilities now that he has a daughter. It doesn't mean that he would no longer want to see you but if you are bringing bad vibes to the table, I can see his reluctance in not wanting your company right now. You really need to start new by replacing the negative stuff in your life with things that are positive and uplifting. You can do it slowly and WITH God's help. Remember, satan prowls around like a lion waiting for opportunities to pounce. Negativity is something he relishes with glee to infect every area of your life. You are already wanting to start afresh - so take the next step and ask for the LORDS help. He's waiting patiently for you to ask. i've stopped listening to metal months ago. i only started listening to Metallica again due to trying to relive my past. It started with Unforgiven and i just started to get very into metal. i listening to nothing but metal music for almost two years straight. i've lost interest in it about last year. Right now i listen to Mary Mary, Out of Eden, Kirk Franklin, Jason Upton, Third Day, Angela Pinkson, ZOEGirl, The Canton Spirituals, Chuck Wagon Gang. i've got alot of christain music to choose from. Christian Hip hop, pop, worship, gospel, country, RnB. alot of christian music to choose from. I don't own a bible anymore. Believe it or not....i threw mine away twice. the first time it was taken out and given back to me. the second time....i never saw it again. i'm reading a bible i found in the living room right now. I'm going through the old testament right now. Still have a ways to go to finish Jeremiah. I've got through reading 1 Samuel yesterday. I've written down alot of Jeremiah to remember. i do pray but it's brief. "thank you for today, give (Person's name) comfort, watch over me, keep my dreams safe. etc. i don't pray much. just briefly. just enough but not really fellowship with the holy ghost. What i've done in my youth for God and for others i've done alot. I didn't relize exactly how much i've done until a few months ago. it's almost like alzheimer's and it's all coming back. that's why i get afraid what the future has in store for me to do. i'm afraid to begin with. thinking about what Gods plan for me to do considering what i did in my youth. Letting everyone go seemed like the first step for me. i've already done half of that before i've come to this board. i don't talk to my sister anymore. i don't open up to anyone from my past anymore. it just seemed right to just let everyone go and not look back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HIS girl Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 mts - Glad to hear you have stopped listening to that type of music and replaced it with Christian lyrics. You know, you are still suffering the effects of long term bombardment on that kind of music, videos (lifestyle). What goes in is going to have an effect on your psyche. Great also to see you are reading the Bible. Have you thought of reading one of the Gospels first? For example Matthew, Mark or Luke? Learn about Jesus and pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit before/as you read. After you've read/while you read, ask questions(write down), what do you think the particular verse, passage means? How does it apply to the Church? How does it apply to you and what can you do/change in order to be that way? What is God saying to you specifically? Questions like that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 There Is Healing In His Name Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 And Peace In His Word Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. Philippians 4:8-9 With Joy In His Hope Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Drink What shall I render unto the LORD for all his benefits toward me? I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD. Psalms 116:12-13 >>>>>()<<<<< Praying Dear Brother, Praying! >>>>>()<<<<< Be Blessed Beloved Of The KING The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace. And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them. Numbers 6:24-27 Love, Your Brother Joe Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts. Jeremiah 15:16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mts Posted June 6, 2009 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 71 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/13/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/12/1985 Author Share Posted June 6, 2009 mts - Glad to hear you have stopped listening to that type of music and replaced it with Christian lyrics. You know, you are still suffering the effects of long term bombardment on that kind of music, videos (lifestyle). What goes in is going to have an effect on your psyche. Great also to see you are reading the Bible. Have you thought of reading one of the Gospels first? For example Matthew, Mark or Luke? Learn about Jesus and pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit before/as you read. After you've read/while you read, ask questions(write down), what do you think the particular verse, passage means? How does it apply to the Church? How does it apply to you and what can you do/change in order to be that way? What is God saying to you specifically? Questions like that... I have read some parts of john. i've read them before. i'd thought i'd warm up and read about the old testament first. since i don't read in spirit. i don't do anything in spirit really. just read. once i'm done. i just day dream somemore. There Is Healing In His Name Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 And Peace In His Word Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. Philippians 4:8-9 With Joy In His Hope Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Drink What shall I render unto the LORD for all his benefits toward me? I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD. Psalms 116:12-13 >>>>>()<<<<< Praying Dear Brother, Praying! >>>>>()<<<<< Be Blessed Beloved Of The KING The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace. And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them. Numbers 6:24-27 Love, Your Brother Joe Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts. Jeremiah 15:16 thanks for the scriptures Joe. and thanks for the prayer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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