Guest Pappa's Kid Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Greetings turtletwo, I'm new here and have also found others not quite so talkative at times to me. However we don't know if they are in IM with someone else needing help, away from their computer, etc. I found that if you just hang around the lobby and get to know people, they respond more readily. I can feel where you are at...really. My health is very poor right now and my heart goes out to you. I too have found it difficult to take but also realize how much God has helped me through it. Without His intervention, I wouldn't be alive now. Hang in there. Stay positive. Keep your eyes on the Lord, not your situation. I would be very happy just to sit and talk to you anytime. Come by the Lobby...if I'm on, we could go to an empty room and chat until our fingers fall off! LOL!!! God Bless turtle. God Bless. Love and prayers, Pappa's Kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turtletwo Posted December 8, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1,192 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7,264 Content Per Day: 1.18 Reputation: 15,710 Days Won: 194 Joined: 07/15/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 A big thanks to ALL of you who took the time to try to reassure me I should stay at Worthy... For each one of you has added your unique caring input to this post of feeling that I don't fit here. You see, this particular time of year only intensifies my sense of not belonging. It is extremely hard to feel unwanted by your entire family...just because some stupid illness changed me to a shadow of my former self. Apparently, my unsupportive family views me as 'damaged goods' now and has no desire to associate with me ... But I can't comprehend the heartlessness of just 'up and throwing a family member away' simply because they fell victim to something awful... namely, a disease which they can't even control... I guess that my severely deteriorated looks from this and my needing help with so much now is a repulsive combo. Christmas is by far the hardest holiday of all, because I am unable to even be with anyone who loves me. Unfortunately, I still can remember our ancient get togethers... that were once so special to me, but now bittersweet. They gnaw at me in a brutal way, which mere words can't describe. Other than intense breaking of the heart or perhaps an ongoing churning in the pit of my stomach. The long gone memories of my happy pre-dystonia life haunt me like a distant dream that I honestly wish I could just forget. Because they only bring on confused tears... And of course, the thought of this possibly being my dad's last Christmas ever, due to the liver cancer and I can't even be with him, seems especially unfair! I hope that this sheds some light on why I feel exceptionally down lately... I am just weary of this life and long for Heaven. If I have been a blessing to some of you here, then perhaps my life hasn't been entirely in vain???? Thanks for your many kind replies here on the open forum. And being so lonely, I am always touched and glad to welcome any invitations from those who TRULY desire to pm with me. But so many times I would pm at length (with much effort and type one fingered), only to get no pm in return. That would hurts and puzzle me. So if you do offer to be my pm pal, please be sure you really want that... ( Unfortunately- I can't do the chat room, because any scrolling of words bring on eye spasms. ) Thanks again. And as soon as I'm physically and emotionally able, I will be in touch with those of you who say you actually want my pms. God bless, TT (turtletwo) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyguy Posted December 8, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 373 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 3,331 Content Per Day: 0.59 Reputation: 71 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/15/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/24/1965 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Christmas is by far the hardest holiday of all, because I am unable to even be with anyone who loves me. Unfortunately, I still can remember our ancient get togethers... that were once so special to me, but now bittersweet. They gnaw at me in a brutal way, which mere words can't describe. Other than intense breaking of the heart or perhaps an ongoing churning in the pit of my stomach. The long gone memories of my happy pre-dystonia life haunt me like a distant dream that I honestly wish I could just forget. Because they only bring on confused tears... Turtle, the Bible tells us to forget those hurts of our past "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before..." (Philippians 3:13) Don't let the devil keep you down by torturing you with the past. You have to forgive your family and just love them. Even if they don't return either of those. And of course, the thought of this possibly being my dad's last Christmas ever, due to the liver cancer and I can't even be with him, seems especially unfair! I hope that this sheds some light on why I feel exceptionally down lately... Is your father a Christian? If so, the separation will only be for a short while. And once in heaven, he would not desire to come back here. So, you must look forward to when you will join him there. Death for a Christian is never the end, but only the beginning to a wonderful eternity. I am just weary of this life and long for Heaven. If I have been a blessing to some of you here, then perhaps my life hasn't been entirely in vain???? All Christians long for our real home. This world is not our home - we are just passing through. The coming new heaven and new earth is where we belong, so there is nothing wrong with wanting to go home. You life has not been in vain. God put you here for a reason. He chose you, and placed you in the time and place He wanted you to be. "From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. (Acts 17:26) None of God's plans are in vain. When you get to heaven, I'm sure you will be shocked to learn the very number of people who's lives you have touched. Be of good cheer, you are God's child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turtletwo Posted December 9, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1,192 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7,264 Content Per Day: 1.18 Reputation: 15,710 Days Won: 194 Joined: 07/15/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 Where do you live TT? And what is your name? I still don't know your name yet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turtletwo Posted December 9, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1,192 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7,264 Content Per Day: 1.18 Reputation: 15,710 Days Won: 194 Joined: 07/15/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 Where do you live TT? And what is your name? I still don't know your name yet Only answers I am at liberty to give are under my most recent prayer request that I just now posted. This will hopefully finally clear up confusion for everyone who has asked me these same questions. ( Hoping and praying you and others at Worthy will not have your feelings hurt by my explanation. I tried to be straightforward, yet do it as God's Word says..."speak the truth, in love." This is just a commitment I can not waver on. Far too risky! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyguy Posted December 10, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 373 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 3,331 Content Per Day: 0.59 Reputation: 71 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/15/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/24/1965 Share Posted December 10, 2009 This is just a commitment I can not waver on. Far too risky! ) Staying true to your beliefs is always the best way to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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