relationship-phobic?

[Guest shorti]

OMG i'm so F'ing confused because most ppl my age are so excited to be in relationships with guys and dating and having sex. but not me. I have had only 1 bf and I lost him due to not trusting him and always wanting to know where he was. I went thru his trash to see if he was cheating, and if I knew he was going over to a friends I would stop by and see how he was even tho he knew what I was up to. I don't get me at all. I don't have a close relationship with my family at all. I don't tell my mom things because i'm afraid she will use that info against me. I have very few friends because I feel like I can't confide in them either without someone stabbling me in the back. If we talk about guys and someone asks me how many bfs I've had or some other personal question I get really defensive, because I feel unconfortable answering personal questions and I don't know why. I can't even play truth or dare any more because I will get mad. Even talking about love or watching a romantic movie makes me gag. And I know this may sound wierd but even now when I know a cute guy is staring at me I get mad, I'll give him an evil look and walk away fast. I don't have any interest in having a personal relationship with anyone and I don't know why. Will I ever grow out of this or is it like my personality or something. Cuz I can't seem to change it.

[jamie]

Sounds like you have issues with people that affect your relationships with both male and females. You just dont trust people. You sound like you need some counseling to me, I suspect everything you are feeling now goes way back to your childhood and relationship with your parents or whoever raised you.

Those are the relationships that mold us into adults.

I strongly reccommend a good counselor, preferably a christian.

[naomi3]

I agree. Are your parents divorced? Something has caused you to feel like realationships are doomed to fail. Pray that the Lord reveals the root to this. Then when He does pray He heals you and sets you free from this. This truely is a bondage. The Lord desires to bring rich realationships into your life.

Naomi

[ray]

relationship-phobic is nothing new. however, there is something that has caused it be it a;

lack of self-confidance

lack of trust

lack of self essteem

lack of friendships

lack of communication

sounds like a lot but untill you examine the roots of your issues you will never have good relatioships with anyone. You did not get to this point in your life over night so it will take some time to get it straight again.

The first relatioship you see if is in order and good is your relationship with God. God has made me angry on more than one occasion but until that relatioship is straight, the relatioships you have with your family and friends will be just as hard.

I have relatship-phobia for different reasons than you and if want to discuss you can send me a pm.

Also, if you like reading there maybe some books out there like the Bible and others to read. Dr. Phill I'm sure has a book or too on relationship issues. However it does not matter what they say unless you are willing and ready to healed from this area that has greatly effected your life. If it is just dating thing maybe youshould try reading men are from mars and women from venus. Also there is several Christian authors on this subject. Henry McCloud, and Dr. James Dobson.

Good Luck on your quest for freedom from your realtioship-phobia

God Bless,

ray

[Guest LCPGUY]

Shorti, sounds to me like you need Jesus in your life and you need to turn your life over to Him and let Him steer the ship!

Have you given your life to Him, your Shepherd and your Savior?

In His Love,

John