ray Posted August 4, 2004 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 281 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 789 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/03/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2004 Hello! Well try to keep this short and to the point. My ex-brother-in-law who was married to my sister of 15 years and 3 children left her and the children for another women. There is no hope for getting back together. He has not given his reason for his leaving. He wants to come back to my church small group. I have been respectful and could be fine with him coming to the small group and just say hi! and move on. I would like him to explain why he left but he may not do that. I think I could handle if he just came but if he brought his new lover which he plans to marry I could not handle it. What should I do and what should my small group do? Thanks ray :t: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apothanein kerdos Posted August 4, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 331 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 8,713 Content Per Day: 1.21 Reputation: 21 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/28/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2004 1 Corinthians 5:9-11 Unfortunately in times like that, it's best to say, "You're welcome here when you want to repent." Obviously if this guy has an unrepentant heart on ths issue, he's not right with God and needs to be brought to his knees. I know it sounds harsh, but it's biblical, and good practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cindy Lou Posted August 4, 2004 Share Posted August 4, 2004 Hi Ray, Faith comes through hearing - don't chase him out and further into Satan's arms. Remember even the Archangel didn't judge Satan - he rebuked him in the name of Jesus. Easy to say & difficult to do I know but we are to pray for our 'enemies'. I hope your sister is coping ok - i'm in similar situation & my heart goes out to her. God bless you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naomi3 Posted August 4, 2004 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 146 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/21/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2004 1 Corinthians 5:9-11 Unfortunately in times like that, it's best to say, "You're welcome here when you want to repent." Obviously if this guy has an unrepentant heart on ths issue, he's not right with God and needs to be brought to his knees. I know it sounds harsh, but it's biblical, and good practice. I agree. Matt. 18:15-17 If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you , you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony by two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, treat him as you would a pagon or a tax collector. Too many times as christians we do not confront sin when it is a biblical thing to do. The church should be doing this more, I believe. Too many people are allowed to walk in plain disobedience and the church is to scared to even say it is wrong. The thing to remember is there is an order given here. One on one, then witnesses, then before the church. There is nothing I hate more then finding out from a third party that somebody is upset with me. I would rather someone come to me first and give me the opportunity to correct any wrong that may have been done on my part. I have noticed very few people in the church practice this today, they get offended and just no longer talk to the person and the person has no idea what even happened to the relationship. Naomi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cymba22 Posted August 4, 2004 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 22 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 588 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/14/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/06/1967 Share Posted August 4, 2004 i'm with superjew on this :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithfulFollower Posted August 4, 2004 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 22 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 349 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/18/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/14/1984 Share Posted August 4, 2004 1 Corinthians 5:9-11 Unfortunately in times like that, it's best to say, "You're welcome here when you want to repent." Obviously if this guy has an unrepentant heart on ths issue, he's not right with God and needs to be brought to his knees. I know it sounds harsh, but it's biblical, and good practice. I agree. Matt. 18:15-17 If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you , you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony by two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, treat him as you would a pagon or a tax collector. Too many times as christians we do not confront sin when it is a biblical thing to do. The church should be doing this more, I believe. Too many people are allowed to walk in plain disobedience and the church is to scared to even say it is wrong. The thing to remember is there is an order given here. One on one, then witnesses, then before the church. There is nothing I hate more then finding out from a third party that somebody is upset with me. I would rather someone come to me first and give me the opportunity to correct any wrong that may have been done on my part. I have noticed very few people in the church practice this today, they get offended and just no longer talk to the person and the person has no idea what even happened to the relationship. Naomi I agree that should he come to attempt to find a church home that he should be welcomed...but just the same as stated before...the best answer is within the bible. The biblical solution may not be the kindest solution...but it is the best one. Truly a difficult situation. Do hope that the Lord brings peace to all the troubled souls involved in this. With Love In Christ, Danielle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kabowd Posted August 5, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 112 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,489 Content Per Day: 0.48 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/28/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted August 5, 2004 Assuming that he is a believer, I agree with Super Jew and the others that biblical correction is in order. However, I'm not sure that you are the one that should do it. Maybe if there are some men in the group (or church) that he respects, I think they should confront him (in love) regarding his sin. As stated earlier as well, if he remains unrepentant we are scripturally obligated to "turn him out". It sounds harsh, but it is tough love. Sometimes in order for restoration to take place, ppl have to come to the end of themselves...to desperation. How can they do that if we treat them like nothing is wrong and smile our fake smiles? That isn't the picture of the Church that Christ had in mind (in my opinion). If you have an illness or disease within your body, letting it go untreated will ruin your overall health and possibly take your life. The same goes with sin that is ignored within the body of Christ. Letting it go, only allows it to spread. btw...I Corinthians 5: 11 also deals with this issue: "But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Skin Horse Posted August 7, 2004 Share Posted August 7, 2004 Hi, First and foremost you are not responsible for his actions, he is. It's not your "job" to bring him back, solve his issues or wait on him to explain. His actions speak louder than words and his lack of action speaks volumns. You can "nanby pampy" around the issue or be a "man" and face reality. The man has already rejected sound doctrine and its his responsibility to get it right! It's mano e mano with God on this issue, so stay out of it. Speak what's on your mind/heart about the issue, don't disquise your true feelings and shake the dust off your sandles. If God is working in his life then God can handle it...you will only muddy up the waters by placating, accepting or being indifferent to the pain, humilation and rejection he has already caused and believe me you don't want that in your fellowship. Let God deal with him and when He does that man will come repenting and turning from his wicked ways. Skin Horse Luv ya brother been there done that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kabowd Posted August 8, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 112 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,489 Content Per Day: 0.48 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/28/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted August 8, 2004 (edited) Sorry, but I don't think that last post was scriptural at all..unless the steps outlined in Matthew 18 are followed first. Edited August 8, 2004 by Tess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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