What do you do?

[Guest jacobsens]

I have been in a marriage for 8 years now and it like all has it's ups and downs. I knew a man that was loving and caring and I have lost that man (my husband). He claims he has not changed, but I know the difference. I pray day and night and believe if the Lord was not in my life I could not have lasted this long. I have tried to talk about it but I don't get anywhere and he just gets upset. The only way I am happy is my Faith in the Lord. What do you do? There is so much more, though I am new and having a hard time explaining to the world.

I would appreciate any advice.

God Bless

[stilllearnin']

HI and welcome to Worthy.

I wish I had some easy answers for you, but I don't.

What have you tried so far? What seems to be the biggest difference in your husband between now and when you were first married?

Have you read books on the subject? I have and sometimes they help and sometimes they don't.

It is such a disappointment when you think you will live happily ever after, and instead you are living sadly ever after.

You are right when you say without God you wouldn't have made it this far, and He still has a plan for your life, and your husband's life!! So don't give up!

Feel free to PM if you would like,

Colleen :hug:

[tsth]

PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!

for your husband. Stay in God's Word, especially reading what He has to say about marriage, and pray for both of you.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[Guest jacobsens]

Thanks so much for the advice. No I have not read any books but I actually have two that I can read that I just came across.

I will continue to pray and read in the Word.

Just knowing that there is support here is a wonderful feeling.

When we first married he would do anything for me, he was very caring and showed his feelings and there is really none of that now. He is very arrogant, and says he will always be that way. I just don't get it, I know there is a sensitive man in him, but I feel I will never see this side again.

I am also concerned with my sons behavior down the line, I know this is not very healthy and certainly not a good example. I am sure he can feel it and know he see's it.

May God Bless.

[Guest godsmartian]

My parents went through something like that just recently. Only mom was convinced that dad was cheating on her and she really sensitive and dad would fly off the handle and she'd get her feelings hurt. It was aweful. My sisters and I would go outside to get away from the yelling. So is what I did I called a friend in Alabama and a friend in North Carolina and had them fast with me for three days. I continued to pray and read and eventually I started to see a diffrence. It was really cool. But it took a lot longer then I thought it would. That's God's time for ya. I'll pray for you. God Bless

[Kabowd]

Have you considered counseling?

[Guest jacobsens]

Yes, we have Tess.

We went together and things are fine for awhile and then they fall right back into the old ways.

It is so unfortunate, especially when you want something to work and it doesn't. I have always felt I was with him for a reason, part of God's work. (If that makes sense). But deep inside I am miserable.

I am doing good, though the marriage is not, and thank all of you for support and prayers.

[Guest AHB22]

About 6 years ago my family had some real rough times my folks turned there backs on god so my brother and i stoped going to church cause we were no longer had to my perants were drinking almost nightly to deal with the pain after a while my mom began to see a councilor one that did not have roots in the church and this person told her it was just best to leave that it wasn't worth fighting for so she did for a few months a bunch of other things happend that are not important but they ended up geting back together and it has been an up hill fight lemme tell you the yelling didn't get better for a long while but they both started going back to church lestening to God forcing themselves to deal with years of baggage they had let build up a lot of praying and a lot of crying but God began to heal them and things get better and better

2 reasons for telling you this 1 is beware of councilors make sure that they are not feeding you lies and 2 things can get better if you hang in there hope it helps and i'll keep you in my prayers

[AmyR]

There are a lot of good christian counselors out there but be careful on the same note. Make sure that they are coming from a biblical perspective. Have you ever thought of doing 2 separate sessions as well with the same counselor and then some together? For a close friend of mine, this was what helped save their marriage. God Bless You and we will be praying for you!!

Amy