Shy Christian Posted April 14, 2011 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 23 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 198 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 57 Days Won: 1 Joined: 08/03/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) I will respond to some of the comments: He is not interested in the military...why would he want to go to war? And even if there's no war he's not interested in military, period. My comment about "no friends" was in the context replying to the remark that he could "stay with friends". He has acquaintances on a first name basis, but no one he is buddy-buddy with. And even if he did, who's to say they'd have room for him or even want him because he would be freeloading from them? If he HAD a job, he could pay ME rent. I don't remember saying I don't trust him. It's HER I don't trust. The comment about "love" referred to him loving her; it was not an innocent remark like loving ice cream! The comment about her being ALONE with him was made before she had even met me. Yes, I remember being that age and my mom insisted on meeting everyone I hung out male or female and would steer me away from the ones she felt would be a bad influence. She was spot on every time. Now I'm a good judge of character myself and am astute at discerning whether someone is credible or not. Edited April 14, 2011 by Shy Christian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel_uk Posted April 14, 2011 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 60 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/02/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2011 I don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Christian Posted April 14, 2011 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 23 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 198 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 57 Days Won: 1 Joined: 08/03/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) I dont know that you could nip the situation in the bud. I dont have children but I imagine it is awful to see them making what you consider a bad decision and letting them make their own choices. I would think that the more of an issue you make it and the more you mention the girl the more likely it is that something will happen between them. Maybe just step back and is she is as bad as you say she is he would have the chance to form his own opinion of her. I still live with my parents at 24 and I am not sure that I see a problem with that! I like living at home! Praying for you and your son. Have you ever had your own place? Dont knock independance until you try it, you may find a wonderful life of your own! bless your heart! I've never lived alone, nor do I want to. I see no reason why my son and I should live separate (twice the utilities/housing) and be lonely when we can keep each other company. Oh, you weren't talking to me. Anyway, I need MY son here too. He does the yardwork and shovels because I have a bad back. Edited April 14, 2011 by Shy Christian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 he could rent a room. all he has to do is look in the classifieds under roomates wanted. he could possibly find a job that would give him free room and board... all he has to do is look at the classifieds under domestic positions available. you find excuses for every option. and i still have a hard time believing that a good looking guy has only acquaintances and no real friends. and as for her wanting to be alone with him, he could very well have told her that you're always around. even if that's not the case, it's not your business. if he wants to be alone with her, you have no right to interfere. if he wants to get drunk, high, have sex, or whatever else you might be afraid of them doing in private, then you have no right to interfere with that either, as long as it's not under your roof. you need to let go. he's not a child, he doesn't need parenting. he's a grown adult, and you need to let him be a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I've never lived alone, nor do I want to. I see no reason why my son and I should live separate (twice the utilities/housing) and be lonely when we can keep each other company. and that says it all. you won't allow him to grow up because YOU don't want to be alone. that's not love, lady. that's smothering, it's controlling, and it's unbiblical. sorry, i can't give you any more sympathy. it's reserved for your son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imoss Posted April 14, 2011 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 119 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 26 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/07/2010 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2011 I don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Christian Posted April 14, 2011 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 23 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 198 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 57 Days Won: 1 Joined: 08/03/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 he could rent a room. all he has to do is look in the classifieds under roomates wanted. he could possibly find a job that would give him free room and board... all he has to do is look at the classifieds under domestic positions available. you find excuses for every option. and i still have a hard time believing that a good looking guy has only acquaintances and no real friends. and as for her wanting to be alone with him, he could very well have told her that you're always around. even if that's not the case, it's not your business. if he wants to be alone with her, you have no right to interfere. if he wants to get drunk, high, have sex, or whatever else you might be afraid of them doing in private, then you have no right to interfere with that either, as long as it's not under your roof. you need to let go. he's not a child, he doesn't need parenting. he's a grown adult, and you need to let him be a man. Wow. You'd actually advocate your son doing those ungodly things as long as it "wasn't under your roof"? I'd consider someone like that more of a loser than a young man who lives with and helps his mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 don't put words in my mouth. i wouldn't advocate any of that. what i SAID is that it's none of your business. you don't have the right to interfere. he's an ADULT. you don't get the right to tell him how to live his life. just like i don't get the right to tell my daughters how to live there lives, even when i disagree with the choices they make. you are suffocating your son out of selfishness and jealousy. you have no intention of ever allowing him to live his own life, and you came here asking for us to empathize and help you figure out how to micro-manage your son. let me rephrase that. you came here looking for someone to tell you how to get rid of your competition. you can quote me all you want on those things, but don't you dare twist my words into something i never said. this is such a sad, classic case of a child parenting their mother. you need to grow up so he can live his own life. you've had your turn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imoss Posted April 14, 2011 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 119 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 26 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/07/2010 Status: Offline Share Posted April 14, 2011 he could rent a room. all he has to do is look in the classifieds under roomates wanted. he could possibly find a job that would give him free room and board... all he has to do is look at the classifieds under domestic positions available. you find excuses for every option. and i still have a hard time believing that a good looking guy has only acquaintances and no real friends. and as for her wanting to be alone with him, he could very well have told her that you're always around. even if that's not the case, it's not your business. if he wants to be alone with her, you have no right to interfere. if he wants to get drunk, high, have sex, or whatever else you might be afraid of them doing in private, then you have no right to interfere with that either, as long as it's not under your roof. you need to let go. he's not a child, he doesn't need parenting. he's a grown adult, and you need to let him be a man. Wow. You'd actually advocate your son doing those ungodly things as long as it "wasn't under your roof"? I'd consider someone like that more of a loser than a young man who lives with and helps his mom. Like our Heavenly Father gives us the ability to make choices our earthly mother, when we become of age (18 in Canada) should allow us to make choices be them good, be them bad. Neither of the boys are losers in the eyes of our loving God. He see's the pain that leads the druggie to addiction, Our Lord sees him as his precious child just as he sees your dedicated to mom son. I say neither the drug addict nor your son are losers because of their situations. I consider no person a loser. We are all equally undeserving of the mercy and grace of our Lord. Even the piece of garbage who hurt me as a kid... I in the flesh would call him a piece of garbage but the Lord showed me him as a 4 year old being hurt. This is how the Lord sees him with undeserved mercy and compassion, I am thankful that I can now see him in this way too as the hate was ruining my life and unforgiveness was effecting my walk with Christ. its time to push the boy outa the boat & teach him to either walk on water like Jesus (a joke with no blasphemy intended) or swim. Fear is not of the Lord, you will be fine! Bless your heart. I also pray that your heart will soften towards those who are less fortunate in the hand they've been dealt. I know a few drug addicts, in fact I know the president of VANDU they did a documentary on my friend Dean wilson in the movie Fix. He's a very smart heroin addict. (used to be much much smarter but we notice his decline of brain function) I know one would think that those two words dont belong together but sometimes even smart people do things to numb their incredible pain & then suddenly discover they are lost. We dont have to trust them, but we should treat them with love and mercy and compassion. I dont see a loser, I see a soul trying to mask a heap load of pain. Of course you dont want that for your son, but if he chooses it good or bad, the choices are his. Our heavenly Father doesnt advocate our sin, but still we sin. You dont advocate the sins of your son, but still he will sin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Christian Posted April 14, 2011 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 23 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 198 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 57 Days Won: 1 Joined: 08/03/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 He's my flesh and blood and he IS my business. As my own dear mother would say, you never stop being a mother, whether your kids are 10, 25, or 50. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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