Loneliness

[enoob57]

Well, at the risk of being hated, I am afraid I will have to disagree with the cookie cutter answer that God is always with me and therefore I am never really alone.

I have been alone for 10 years, despite countless attempts to fix it. Yes I know that God is always with me and will never leave me. HOWEVER ee must also remember that God created us with a NEED for other people. Remember it was God himself that said Adam was incomplete before he created Eve. God could have said, " Adam doesn't need Eve, he has me ". But he didn't say that. He made Eve because he knew Adam needed human companionship. I am alone. God is with me yes, but I can't hug him, I can't cry on his shoulder, I can't play catch with him or hold his hand walking through the park. You get my point. God created us for eachother, so if you respond to me, please don't give me any of that " God is all you need " stuff. God Bless.

Jn 3:6-8

6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7 Do not marvel that I said to you, 'You must be born again.' 8 The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit."

NKJV

Jn 6:63-64

63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life. 64 But there are some of you who do not believe." For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe, and who would betray Him.

NKJV

God has asked us to lay down our lives in death that we might rise up to live His Life in Spirit... by the sound of your response I don't think your ready for a woman to love selflessly ... it seems your not able to do this with God Who's made you??? I would think you would find this encouraging that 'we' both have found this to be a fact and experience but you give our witness away as trash... Oh well we love ya anyway! Love, Steven

[nebula]

Well, at the risk of being hated,...

No, you won't be hated. Being honest with struggles is actually Scriptural.

Finding your strength in God won't take away the pain of loneliness. But it sure makes going through it a whole lot easier.

I don't know why the Lord sends some of us to the desert this way, but He does. While I'd prefer the forests and greenery, I've learned to find the beauty in the desert, learned to find the sources of water, learned how to cultivate and forage food.

I speak in analogies, but this is how it is spiritually.

I've shed many tears of loneliness, too.

But perhaps it's made me a better person? We all have sin nature issues we have to overcome, and the Lord tends to send us down paths that are specifically designed to break down that flesh.

I know this doesn't make it feel better, and I wish I had the kind of words that would do so for you. I only know that it's easier to get through the loneliness when you embrace it than when you fight against it.

Prayers for your strength and comfort in your affliction.

[taylor30]

Well, at the risk of being hated, I am afraid I will have to disagree with the cookie cutter answer that God is always with me and therefore I am never really alone.

I have been alone for 10 years, despite countless attempts to fix it. Yes I know that God is always with me and will never leave me. HOWEVER ee must also remember that God created us with a NEED for other people. Remember it was God himself that said Adam was incomplete before he created Eve. God could have said, " Adam doesn't need Eve, he has me ". But he didn't say that. He made Eve because he knew Adam needed human companionship. I am alone. God is with me yes, but I can't hug him, I can't cry on his shoulder, I can't play catch with him or hold his hand walking through the park. You get my point. God created us for eachother, so if you respond to me, please don't give me any of that " God is all you need " stuff. God Bless.

Jn 3:6-8

6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7 Do not marvel that I said to you, 'You must be born again.' 8 The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit."

NKJV

Jn 6:63-64

63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life. 64 But there are some of you who do not believe." For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe, and who would betray Him.

NKJV

God has asked us to lay down our lives in death that we might rise up to live His Life in Spirit... by the sound of your response I don't think your ready for a woman to love selflessly ... it seems your not able to do this with God Who's made you??? I would think you would find this encouraging that 'we' both have found this to be a fact and experience but you give our witness away as trash... Oh well we love ya anyway! Love, Steven

Please correct me if I am wrong because I don't wish to misunderstand.

But it sounds like you just told me that I am not ready to love a woman 100% because my constant seeking of one shows how selfish I am. First off, I don't know what makes you think you have the ability to judge me in such a manner, and I sincerely pray you are not in a profession that requires you to give advice. Secondly, if you really think I am selfish because I don't want to be alone, then I,guess by your standard I have the right to call ANYONE who is married selfish, because they are not giving 100% to God as you have accused me of doing. I assume you are single, since if you were married or even dating, it would show your hypocrisy and selfishness. God Bless.

[enoob57]

Please correct me if I am wrong because I don't wish to misunderstand.

But it sounds like you just told me that I am not ready to love a woman 100% because my constant seeking of one shows how selfish I am. First off, I don't know what makes you think you have the ability to judge me in such a manner, and I sincerely pray you are not in a profession that requires you to give advice.

Nebula has shed the light very well to what I am saying... well it simply is your need... it doesn't belong to anyone else does it? You verbalize a strong will to get that need met even to the point of pushing God to the side to do so?

so if you respond to me, please don't give me any of that " God is all you need " stuff. God Bless.

I know what the self willed I'm going to do it my way sounds like in the beginning because I did that! I am not saying you don't have a God given need but I am saying it seems you are focusing on the drive of self rather than on God's desire for you in this!

Ps 37:4-5

4 Delight yourself also in the Lord,

And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him,

And He shall bring it to pass.

NKJV

I did not wait upon God to do this and ruin was my experience... I am merely trying to say you sound like me "don't tell me God is all you need!"

Secondly, if you really think I am selfish because I don't want to be alone, then I,guess by your standard I have the right to call ANYONE who is married selfish, because they are not giving 100% to God as you have accused me of doing. I assume you are single, since if you were married or even dating, it would show your hypocrisy and selfishness. God Bless.

The need stems from you own self and if you don't wait upon Him as indicated above you are going to cause yourself a lot of harm not to mention the women that might come into this with you! I have been married and divorced 3 times and when I finally understood the selfishness of my own heart and repented of what I was and God removed the need from me and I am settled and satisfied with His presence 24 - 7... Love, Steven

[taylor30]

Please correct me if I am wrong because I don't wish to misunderstand.

But it sounds like you just told me that I am not ready to love a woman 100% because my constant seeking of one shows how selfish I am. First off, I don't know what makes you think you have the ability to judge me in such a manner, and I sincerely pray you are not in a profession that requires you to give advice.

Nebula has shed the light very well to what I am saying... well it simply is your need... it doesn't belong to anyone else does it? You verbalize a strong will to get that need met even to the point of pushing God to the side to do so?

so if you respond to me, please don't give me any of that " God is all you need " stuff. God Bless.

I know what the self willed I'm going to do it my way sounds like in the beginning because I did that! I am not saying you don't have a God given need but I am saying it seems you are focusing on the drive of self rather than on God's desire for you in this!

Ps 37:4-5

4 Delight yourself also in the Lord,

And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him,

And He shall bring it to pass.

NKJV

I did not wait upon God to do this and ruin was my experience... I am merely trying to say you sound like me "don't tell me God is all you need!"

Secondly, if you really think I am selfish because I don't want to be alone, then I,guess by your standard I have the right to call ANYONE who is married selfish, because they are not giving 100% to God as you have accused me of doing. I assume you are single, since if you were married or even dating, it would show your hypocrisy and selfishness. God Bless.

The need stems from you own self and if you don't wait upon Him as indicated above you are going to cause yourself a lot of harm not to mention the women that might come into this with you! I have been married and divorced 3 times and when I finally understood the selfishness of my own heart and repented of what I was and God removed the need from me and I am settled and satisfied with His presence 24 - 7... Love, Steven

I actually do understand what your saying, but scripture also says that the single life is NOT for everyone. In fact, Paul said it is better to Marry than to burn with lust. I admit the desire for a wife is based on selfishness on my part, however right now the only options I can do is to get married or sin ALOT. The pain of lonliness is the most painful thing I have ever been through. Please do not speak words of condemnation. I know it is wrong. I also know that many people endure this torture, and many churches and christians arw very unsympathetic to this situation. My choices may be bad, but when you go to an empty house every day and wake up alone every morning, even a bad and sinful relationship sure seems better than an eternity of lonliness. I can only hope God can forgive my selfishness, because man sure hasn't.

[Guest]

I actually do understand what your saying, but scripture also says that the single life is NOT for everyone. In fact, Paul said it is better to Marry than to burn with lust. I admit the desire for a wife is based on selfishness on my part, however right now the only options I can do is to get married or sin ALOT. The pain of lonliness is the most painful thing I have ever been through. Please do not speak words of condemnation. I know it is wrong. I also know that many people endure this torture, and many churches and christians arw very unsympathetic to this situation. My choices may be bad, but when you go to an empty house every day and wake up alone every morning, even a bad and sinful relationship sure seems better than an eternity of lonliness. I can only hope God can forgive my selfishness, because man sure hasn't.

I would hope you are sharing this with the Lord in prayer as well as here. Jesus is the only one who can ultimately solve the problem. Sometimes the journey to the solution can be painful.

I say that in order to say this: perhaps it would be a good idea to surrender all those thoughts, feelings, etc. to the Lord if you haven't already. Things tend to start happening after surrendering such things. In one man's case the Lord was waiting for him to surrender the lust, etc. -- only after that did he see things come together and eventually met and married his wife of 30 years now. Since each person's walk with the Lord is different, your experience may vary.

I am 50 and single also, and the Lord has given me a peace about it.

[enoob57]

I actually do understand what your saying, but scripture also says that the single life is NOT for everyone. In fact, Paul said it is better to Marry than to burn with lust. I admit the desire for a wife is based on selfishness on my part, however right now the only options I can do is to get married or sin ALOT. The pain of lonliness is the most painful thing I have ever been through.

I am writing this in acceptance of your witness of belief in Jesus Christ!

1 Pe 1:6-9

6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9 receiving the end of your faith — the salvation of your souls.

NKJV

all of the children of God who have read this could not prepare for this fire- for the burning that it would be! For by it's testing all that is not of God burns away... I can specifically, in this place of testing you are in, say that you come through it proven and tested by God as His Own or not! I left many dying in their own needs as the fulfillment of those needs became their god! My Father in Heaven opened my eyes in this darkness and I saw truth and lie and I turned to truth in humble repentance and He healed me!

As the pain of your needs increase and if disobedience to God is resulting in your seeing to them know that you are not alone but myriads of us have also experienced this... satan is using the flesh and it's original created need against you! I want to reason in love a moment with you! There is nothing you can do to remove Christ from you if His witness to you is that He 'IS' ! I am here but was at the end of where you now walk! Go to a nursing home and visit with the old ones... evaluate their lives and know the end of what now overcomes you in your own flesh! Go to children and evaluate their lives (this to the shame of our world (6 and under) see that it has not begun yet in them and watch the joy of their existence... now after you have searched the Lord out in doing these visits -ask Him to help you see that you are putting eternity aside for sake of a very short time!

Ask Him to help You not to be stupid like the one who is giving this advice to you now (my name Steven Boone you may use it in your prayer with Him as example of what He has done for another) He will know what He has done for me and perhaps He will grant you a less lengthy time in the waste of self fulfillment!

Please do not speak words of condemnation. I know it is wrong. I also know that many people endure this torture, and many churches and christians arw very unsympathetic to this situation. My choices may be bad, but when you go to an empty house every day and wake up alone every morning, even a bad and sinful relationship sure seems better than an eternity of lonliness. I can only hope God can forgive my selfishness, because man sure hasn't.

If you can imagine this reality ahead of you... your will is for you and not Him yet you believe! So you know that you are willfully disobeying the One who made you and Who 'IS' the only One Who can actually give that which you seek 'the fulfillment of the desires of your heart'. After all He made you to have them and in sin they have been perverted within you to exclude the only One Who can satisfy them! You have no choice but to go to Him else you will have these desires without end with no fulfillment! I have seen old people in their lust but absolutely no functioning way to fulfill it and yet they dwell in the need all the time...

Ps 37:4-8

4 Delight yourself also in the Lord,

And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him,

And He shall bring it to pass.

6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,

And your justice as the noonday.

7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;

Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,

Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.

8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath;

Do not fret — it only causes harm.

NKJV

Your path and hope of true satisfaction can only be found in His provision not you own temporary effort to put it there!

You will give your heart to those who are incapable of returning love as you are incapable of giving it... this pain

will only increase till you yield or die-> satan will take this and use it to try to get you to hate God ... after all God made you to need this right? Separating you from the only source that can bring about fulfillment... Isa 40:31... My prayers!

Love, Steven

[joi]

Taylor, I have seen your posts from the beginning, and from that point forward I think I sense bitterness in them.

Being able to tell God that you are bitter because He has not sent you a mate may well be the beginning of your healing of it.

I make no promise because I obviously do not know God's will for you and your life, but I do know that after my divorce I harbored

a lot of bitterness and not until I was willing to recognize and confess it did God begin to heal me of it.

Proverbs 25

24 - It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.

I hope you will not make the mistake that is seems Steven made in his life and I in mine. God would have better than that for you.

[taylor30]

Someone correct me if I am wrong but after reading all these posts I seem to see only 1 answer. Let Jesus fill you and end loneliness. If this were really true, then I suppose I can walk around and simply tell all lonely people " Just kettle Jesus make you happy". These are the answers I received so I suppose I can start saying that to others. So from now on when I see someone about to kill himself or someone in utter despair or someone who feels completely broken, I will just tell them to let Jesus make them happy. I won't need to offer my friendship or support since Jesus is enough. If this seems crewl to any of you, just remember that many of you said the sake thing to me.