[Deleted]

[Benjnagy]

A

Edited July 17, 2017 by Benjnagy

[Benjnagy]

A

Edited July 17, 2017 by Benjnagy

[missmuffet]

Ben,I have been watching my X go down the wrong path for years now.Their are circumstances for the choices we make.I have a feeling that you still love her and that is not the case with my X and myself.You are in a different position than I am in.You can pray for her.Ask God's Will in her life.God is in control you are not.It will just make you more and more frustrated to try and put yourself in control.I am assuming that you want her back?You must pray to God about that as well.Maybe she is not the one God wants you to spend your life with.That is sometimes painful when we want something and God wants us to have something else.I have experienced people in that circumstance.That is when we pray to God and give over the whole situation to Him and Him alone.

 

Oh and .....if I have not done so Welcome to Worthy.It is nice to have you with us.

[Benjnagy]

A

Edited July 17, 2017 by Benjnagy

[missmuffet]

I do love her.  Although I don't want to and I can't trust her anyway.  At this point I want her back so that I can help her follow God and set her straight again.  Her boyfriend isn't helping her to serve God he's leading her away.  Everyone at my church can see it and when they talk about it with me it scares me.  She was my childhood friend and first love.  I knew her as the most godly young woman in our church.  We even did a bible study together.  I cared about her so much I even cried at her graduation seeing her slideshow!  I can't just sit back and watch her turn away from God in such an important time in her life!  This is ridiculous.  Just because God lets something happen doesn't mean it's right.  I never had any sisters so I don't know how girls are but I care about her like a sister. 

Are those good reasons to want her back Ben?Is it really love?God has a wonderful plan for your life.Maybe she was not included in that plan.Pray for Gods leading and direction are important right now.

[ncn]

 

 :/ I know they did it to themselves but I feel really sad about it. And this poor guy who my ex is using now. He has no idea what they are like and how they will treat him. She better not use him and throw him out like she did to me. I wish I would have known about her family's problems when I was with her so that I could have been in a position to turn her around! I pray everyday that God would give me a chance to talk to my ex and her parents some day. I would do anything to help them.

 

 

Hey thanks! I really can't help it though. I got to know her really well and she's really a nice girl.

 

I think you need to back off and look within yourself.  When I look at these two posts I have to question your thought process.  nice girls don't use people and discard them....  you need to question your own judgment.....  and i say that out of my own personal experience from my own early days

 

I am beginning to think you should listen to the people around you and get on with life.  if you open yourself up for another round of this kind of hurt it could be very long term damaging to yourself. 

 

 

 

I do love her.  Although I don't want to and I can't trust her anyway.  At this point I want her back so that I can help her follow God and set her straight again.  Her boyfriend isn't helping her to serve God he's leading her away.  Everyone at my church can see it and when they talk about it with me it scares me.  She was my childhood friend and first love.  I knew her as the most godly young woman in our church.  We even did a bible study together.  I cared about her so much I even cried at her graduation seeing her slideshow!  I can't just sit back and watch her turn away from God in such an important time in her life!  This is ridiculous.  Just because God lets something happen doesn't mean it's right.  I never had any sisters so I don't know how girls are but I care about her like a sister. 

 Benj, I can understand the pain , but sometimes we do need to move on. 

Prayer for her yes! , but move on or you risk it becoming an obsession. 

 

You are in my prayers. 

[Benjnagy]

A

Edited July 17, 2017 by Benjnagy

[Guest]

I hate to say it but after today i think it is an obsession.  I understand that Its over with her.   I tried to pretend like I can find another girl but like people say, you know when you find the right person.  It's her or nobody  (nobody) and I can't live a good Christian life with nobody.  It's the way am.  I met many girls afterwards but they don't feel right like she did.  I can't be alone or I will find myself living for myself again.  For some reason I can't handle it.  I wasted so much of my life trying to get material things that didn't make me any more happy.  After God showed me this girl I realized I wouldn't be motivated enough alone.  I do to know what to do anymore.  I'm worried that there isn't a girl out there good enough to make me forget about her.  

 

Sometimes you have to let them go and love them from a distance. If the ex is going down the wrong road that's her decision and she will bear the consequences for it. I get it that its not easy to let 'em go, but you need to turn this over to the Lord and leave it with him. Ever think that maybe pretending isn't the answer? Jesus can change your heart and attitude about it, but you have to stop playing the victim (I can't live without her) and allow the Lord to do what only He can do. I had to struggle with that and still do sometimes. Life happens and we have to move on. I know because I lost someone, and spent over 20 wasted years angry at God over it. Don't play the victim. Jesus didn't die so we could do that. As for living a good Christian life you can live a good life single if that's what the Lord wants, or married. We belong to Christ and its His decision, not ours. I don't like it sometimes, but that's how things are.

 

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, but I've seen far too many people put themselves through so much unnecessary agony over things like this that it isn't even funny. This situation is in your life for a reason, and I don't pretend to know why, but the Lord allowed it for a reason. Perhaps it would be a good idea to spend some serious time in prayer and the Bible for a time and see how things begin to go from there. I am certain it will help.

[conservator]

I am sorry to hear you are going through this turmoil. I know since I speak from personal experience.

 

At one time I was married to this woman - the mother of three sons - for over 25 years.  And then one day she decided she no longer loved me and did not want to stay married.  We both moved on with our lives but I still loved her.  She made some terrible mistakes in her life marrying an abusive man and then divorcing him and then living with a another man who was abusive as well as a liar.  

 

I went to a Church group dealing with divorces, deaths, etc.  I found that I was not alone and that many of us faced the same problems.  Over time I overcame my obsession with her and became a stronger person.  I eventually found a good Christian lady and love her as much as it is possible to love.  

 

So, in brief, try to find a church group that can offer you assistance.  And pray for Jesus to give you strength and guidance.

[darkest_red]

 

I hate to say it but after today i think it is an obsession.  I understand that Its over with her.   I tried to pretend like I can find another girl but like people say, you know when you find the right person.  It's her or nobody  (nobody) and I can't live a good Christian life with nobody.  It's the way am.  I met many girls afterwards but they don't feel right like she did.  I can't be alone or I will find myself living for myself again.  For some reason I can't handle it.  I wasted so much of my life trying to get material things that didn't make me any more happy.  After God showed me this girl I realized I wouldn't be motivated enough alone.  I do to know what to do anymore.  I'm worried that there isn't a girl out there good enough to make me forget about her.  

 

Sometimes you have to let them go and love them from a distance. If the ex is going down the wrong road that's her decision and she will bear the consequences for it. I get it that its not easy to let 'em go, but you need to turn this over to the Lord and leave it with him. Ever think that maybe pretending isn't the answer? Jesus can change your heart and attitude about it, but you have to stop playing the victim (I can't live without her) and allow the Lord to do what only He can do. I had to struggle with that and still do sometimes. Life happens and we have to move on. I know because I lost someone, and spent over 20 wasted years angry at God over it. Don't play the victim. Jesus didn't die so we could do that. As for living a good Christian life you can live a good life single if that's what the Lord wants, or married. We belong to Christ and its His decision, not ours. I don't like it sometimes, but that's how things are.

 

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, but I've seen far too many people put themselves through so much unnecessary agony over things like this that it isn't even funny. This situation is in your life for a reason, and I don't pretend to know why, but the Lord allowed it for a reason. Perhaps it would be a good idea to spend some serious time in prayer and the Bible for a time and see how things begin to go from there. I am certain it will help.

 

 

Great advice!

 

I don't think I have anything to add other than if you still have feelings for her, you will not be able to move on while she is still such a huge part of your life.  I know that you don't necessarily want to cut all ties with her and I don't think there is anything wrong with staying friends with an ex girlfriend, but you need some time to yourself first so you can move on.  I understand that it's painful to watch someone you care about going down the wrong path but, realistically, there is not much you can do other than pray. You will move on and it will get easier, but - as clichéd as it is to say - it will take time.