Guest kings&pawns Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Hello some of you may remember me(highly doubted). I was complaining about moving last time. I figured out what i should do about that or was kinda forced into it but oh well. Well anyways my problem i am having is with my girlfriend. I know she does care but now that i have moved away she wants to date someone else and wants me to do the same. I refuse to. A tree is judged by its fruit it says in the bible and i don't know if i am worth as much as i thought to her that i thought i was. I'm willing to stay single. I have never loved a girl enough for a long distant relationship until now and i sometimes feel as if she doesn't have the same feelings i have. I have personally found that gods love is the best for an example of love. Willing to sacrifice all you have for the ones you love and yet knowing they may not do the same for you. Jesus has left us and asks that we worship and stay in a close relationship with him. He never would have given us the thought about seeing other gods while he is away until he returns. It never has felt right for me to see anyone else but my gf somewhat insists on it. She would feal guilty if i didn't and she did. But i feel as if I'm to be truthful to the one i love that i will not have as much as a thought about another girl or the idea that i would be willing to wake up with someone else on my mind. Is my loyalty right or am i taking a earthly relationship to seriously. I don't know what to do. I will not date someone else for sure but is my love worth what i go through for her. Should i give up on her or hope as christ hopes for unbelievers that we will come to him. God's Servant k&p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UndecidedFrog Posted January 5, 2005 Group: Nonbeliever Followers: 2 Topic Count: 16 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2,063 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 15 Days Won: 1 Joined: 08/02/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted January 5, 2005 Dear kings&pawns, This is just my opinion. You don't have to accept it if you dislike it. DISCLAIMER: I am not a christian. It seems to me that your gf doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about her. You cannot control what she does (date other people). You can only control what you do (date or not date other people). I suggest you take stock of where you are in life, and consider the options before you: 1) Date other people as your gf suggests 2) Not date other people while your gf dates others What do you think is the rational thing to do? What do you think is the best choice for your future? I hope this helps. Regards, UndecidedFrog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
followerofjesus Posted January 5, 2005 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 31 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,013 Content Per Day: 0.14 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/08/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted January 5, 2005 One problem is you can't equate a relationship w/ your gf & your faith in Christ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithfulFollower Posted January 5, 2005 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 22 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 349 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/18/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/14/1984 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Kings&Pawns, Within the scripture there is no denying that relationship between believers and non believers is very much discouraged. However, think of Christ's example. Was not one of his disciples once a tax collector? Was not Mary Magdiline a woman of which there was not one, but seven demons? It is not difficult to understand the hope of which lingers within your heart for this woman that is currently a part of your life, great or small. Was once as your girlfriend is today, only so in faith. However, my hubby though we as a couple had broken up for a time and he encouraged we see others at first, very much like yourself, I could not find the strength to do so. Eventually though, that changed. We are now married and have been for a little over a month, but now share the same faith and hope to encourage one another to build a strong relationship with Christ. (Though this may or may not turn out to be the case scenario for you.) However sometimes it is best to let the one that is loved go, for if it was meant to be the love will surely find its way back to you. Think of the price Jesus paid, as well as the consequences of your actions before you make a decision. Most importantly, pray about it. For God knows best, and is by far the best counselor. Best of wishes, pray that God aids you in this rather difficult situation. With Love In Christ, Danielle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonard Posted January 5, 2005 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 115 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 8,281 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 249 Days Won: 3 Joined: 03/03/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/30/1955 Share Posted January 5, 2005 This is a very interesting dilemma. First, it may reflect a level of 'infatuation' usually found only in the young folks among us (if, in my dotage, I can still accurately remember ever being young!). You didn't give your age, so that may not be the case. In any event your concern for loyalty and honor is rare and highly commendable! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel9601 Posted January 5, 2005 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 87 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/05/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted January 5, 2005 What loyalty do you refer to? Were you both married? If not, then there wasnt much to break. And your relationship can easily be made again, with a different person. You never said "I do" to her, and she neither. So what is she betraying? She hasn't made a vow to stay with you, move on. And get married, thats when you actually (really) have the right to say "oi! dont leave me! you promised you wouldnt!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkest_red Posted January 5, 2005 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 67 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 885 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 55 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/05/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/23/1986 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Hello some of you may remember me(highly doubted). I was complaining about moving last time. I figured out what i should do about that or was kinda forced into it but oh well. Well anyways my problem i am having is with my girlfriend. I know she does care but now that i have moved away she wants to date someone else and wants me to do the same. I refuse to. A tree is judged by its fruit it says in the bible and i don't know if i am worth as much as i thought to her that i thought i was. I'm willing to stay single. I have never loved a girl enough for a long distant relationship until now and i sometimes feel as if she doesn't have the same feelings i have. I have personally found that gods love is the best for an example of love.    Willing to sacrifice all you have for the ones you love and yet knowing they may not do the same for you. Jesus has left us and asks that we worship and stay in a close relationship with him. He never would have given us the thought about seeing other gods while he is away until he returns. It never has felt right for me to see anyone else but my gf somewhat insists on it. She would feal guilty if i didn't and she did. But i feel as if I'm to be truthful to the one i love that i will not have as much as a thought about another girl or the idea that i would be willing to wake up with someone else on my mind.   Is my loyalty right or am i taking a earthly relationship to seriously. I don't know what to do. I will not date someone else for sure but is my love worth what i go through for her. Should i give up on her or hope as christ hopes for unbelievers that we will come to him.                                          God's Servant                                             k&p <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment and it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. To do it (and it can be done) there is no doubt that you would both need to have very strong feelings for each other. From what you've said she doesn't feel that anymore. The only advice I can give is to try and move on as she clearly has done. Time is a great healer, so give it time. No one would expect you to rush into this. Looking at your profile you are still young, you have (God willing) a lot of live left to live. Don't let your feelings for this girl hold you back when the whole world is waiting for you to do whatever you want to do in life. You have the rest of your life to live, so live it! This may not be of any help so sorry if it isn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kings&pawns Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 I have seen every one of your positions and advice for me, thank you. We'll see what happens but you have all been a great deal of help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moriah222 Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Hello some of you may remember me(highly doubted). I was complaining about moving last time. I figured out what i should do about that or was kinda forced into it but oh well. Well anyways my problem i am having is with my girlfriend. I know she does care but now that i have moved away she wants to date someone else and wants me to do the same. I refuse to. A tree is judged by its fruit it says in the bible and i don't know if i am worth as much as i thought to her that i thought i was. I'm willing to stay single. I have never loved a girl enough for a long distant relationship until now and i sometimes feel as if she doesn't have the same feelings i have. I have personally found that gods love is the best for an example of love.    Willing to sacrifice all you have for the ones you love and yet knowing they may not do the same for you. Jesus has left us and asks that we worship and stay in a close relationship with him. He never would have given us the thought about seeing other gods while he is away until he returns. It never has felt right for me to see anyone else but my gf somewhat insists on it. She would feal guilty if i didn't and she did. But i feel as if I'm to be truthful to the one i love that i will not have as much as a thought about another girl or the idea that i would be willing to wake up with someone else on my mind.   Is my loyalty right or am i taking a earthly relationship to seriously. I don't know what to do. I will not date someone else for sure but is my love worth what i go through for her. Should i give up on her or hope as christ hopes for unbelievers that we will come to him.                                          God's Servant                                             k&p <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hi, Coming from a female's viewpoint. I too am in a long distance relationship. I would never ask my man to date someone else, nor would I date anyone else. I believe that if you and your girlfriend have both sought the Lord's will in this relationship then you know what should happen between the two of you. I highly suggest that you talk to her and find out just where she stands with you. Long distance relationships are NOT easy but they are NOT a tickets to greener pastures either. God MUST be first and foremost in your life. If she isn't willing to "hurt" a little bit for TRUE AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE then maybe she isn't God sent. Many blessing to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PistosHuios Posted January 8, 2005 Share Posted January 8, 2005 (edited) I just want to emphasize that you define your relationship. It's an overused and "coined" phrase but it's very important. A couple people here stated that they have been in long distance relationships. The problem is you and your girlfriend are NOT those people. For every couple that has successfully married after a long-distance relationship there is another whose relationshiop failed because of the distance. I was in a long distance relationship. Distance, I think, is a good thing. It tests the strength of the relationship. I dated one person, we were together for 2 months in college, and then the entire rest of our 9 month dating was "long distance". Yes I saw her, I visited, and learned that the cell phone is far cheaper than calling cards if your talking hours at a time . we were engaged for 1 year-- I was in college, and then lived with my parents, and she with her mom, the entire time. We were only together when we could (which was as often as possible, once a month, sometimes more in the summer). We've been married now over a year and we are happier than ever. We grow closer each day. Together! I'm not saying your relationship will work. I'm saying that this is the litmus test of your relationship. If your girlfriend wants to date other people I don't see the trouble in that. I'm not sure what your afraid of. Sometimes when we're in love we fail to realize that there ARE billions of potential spouses on this planet! My wife asked me the other day one of those "no right answer" questions she said "Honey, if we were with other people, do you think we'd be just as happy". I knew the answer, I've thought about this myself. "Yes, assuming the other person loved back, we'd be just as happy, in different ways, but just as happy." I believe that any two people can marry successfully once they choose to love the other person more than themselves. This choice is progressive, until the day you get married, then it is permanent. This is getting too long, so I'll stop, if you want me to continue, please ask, if not, I won't Edited January 8, 2005 by PistosHuios Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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