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physical intimacy before marriage?


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On 1/5/2017 at 10:35 PM, Brittany said:

I know that premarital sex is definitely a no-no. But - and I'm just going to get to the point, here - I have a boyfriend. We're both devout Christians. We're young (teens). We've been dating for over two years. And we've kissed. We've cuddled. We hold hands all the time.

Is that bad?

When he first kissed me, I thought nothing of it. When we first cuddled, I thought nothing of it. When he held my hand for the first time (the third day we were dating) I thought nothing of it. But, very recently, I got a small thought in the back of my head. What if this stuff is all against God's Law, too? I understand that these things can lead to sexual desire, which can lead to sexual immorality, and the Bible says to "flee from sexual immorality."

I'm going to admit, although we haven't done the 's-word', we have kissed a couple times that could have lead to it... and I'm planning on putting a stop to that. No more. But what about "Just kissing" or "just cuddling" or even "just holding hands"? Are those against God's Law, too? If they are, well then I'll have a hard time breaking the news to my boyfriend and stopping, but I'll end up breaking it to him and quitting it anyways, due to conviction.

Since I actually feel a bit of conviction about this now, I'm assuming that means it is wrong and we should stop, and God's trying to tell me that. but, I would still like to hear what you guys have to say about this. And, if it's not too much to ask, please pray for me as well. Because it's going to be hard, breaking it to my boyfriend, and even stopping myself.

Thanks!

Hi again,

I find that I must first state that  the idea it is okay to sin against God as long as it is done with  others that do not know God is a new one to me. Personally, I don't think so. It is impossible to be a Christian when with Christians and then embrace the world when with the worldly. Going back and forth back and forth, like  jellyfish  on the tides is not what leads to sanctification of the saint in Christ Jesus. Our sanctification is just the opposite, it is growth in holiness that comes with resisting floating along on the tides.

Instead our individual sanctification grows by developing backbone of strong faith as the full armor of God, His word, the Bible, is put on so that  the good fight may be fought fully armored, standing upright, just and holy, as God is just and Holy.

It is not easy being called to be of and with Christ Jesus eternally. Joyous yes! But not easy, for the hard challenges before us from this world under Satan is so bold and brash that it challenges not only us, but even God.   Satan does accuse us before God. We may feel bad, very weak in faith, not worthy of the grace of God, and can be defeated weak in faith if we fail to remember the word of God, that we are saved by grace alone, not by the works of any man, and not by our own doing. That is our Hope! It is hope made certain by Jesus.

So please be bold too, in allowing yourself some sense of great joy, joy in the safe arms of our Lord Jesus. Do not beat yourself up, do not practice "self-meanification".

God is Holy He does not ever tempt, nor can He be tempted. All temptation is not of God at all. He teaches us. He tests us. He brings  growth in our sanctification through trials, but He never tempts us. Temptation  is the weapon of Satan as He uses us as strawman  in His railings against God's just wrath  that is upon him.

God is merciful! He has called out some to endure and run the race well, finishing strong, and receiving  crowns to be placed at His Son's feet. Blessed are the saints in Christ Jesus that finish well.

So the greater question is: what is God's will for our life as saints in Christ? 

Part of the answer is that there are no twice virgins. All action has consequence, some good, and some kinda harsh to endure. There are going to be lots and lots of hard days ahead in life, yet also so much joy!  Treasure the challenges for they are growth opportunities if they  are responded to by study of God's word, prayer with thought.

May God bless you and keep you, may His light shine upon you. And may you reflect that light ever so strongly onto a darkened world. May many come to see our common Lord and savior Jesus in you by your words and your deeds as you go through the many tests of life's adventure. Live in the joy of the LORD!

Edited by Neighbor
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you know dear one-- when in love ( or in "like") physical contact is so pleasure able it can be dangerous-- as an old guy that has done everything wrong---  looking back at my life I would say avoid any contact until married-- it is so easy to slip over the edge- and if you do it taints your relationship for life--- I am not sure how- it is something spiritual--but the purer you can keep you relationship before marrigae the more sky Rockets and music you will have after marriage-- honest-- pray about it the Lord will lead you

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