Trust issues..need help

[Tomtom]

I have been with my girl for 4 years. When we first started dating she told me she was an escort but never sold sex..but was raped by someone which led to her quitting. I have never believed the story..but after digging deeper with her she explained to me properly. 

I actually sat her down..talked to her for more details. Shes embarrassed to talk about it obviously, and the memories are repressed. You can tell there was trauma..like for real trauma when the memories are brought up. The same trauma you see in the face of actual victims when recounting their stories. She had a still birth..the childs father abandoned her..and she was depressed..started to make bad choices and hanging with the wrong crowd. She says someone propositioned her to try it out and she can have sex only if she wants to, and also worked as a drug carrier for the same person.

She confessed that she knew what she was getting herself into..that she knew they would expect sex and they would bring it up during the outing or date, but she would say no and tell them i spent 5 hours with you this is the cost..pay me..and then she would leave never to see them again. She says she could never pull herself to actually have sex, and that she was under the impression it was her choice. Standard misguided young western minded woman ****. She maybe did this about 4 or 5 times. She says those guys were not rapists or tried to touch her..they obviously could tell she was uncomfortable and not going to have sex. 

Basically what she is saying is that she was playing with fire..and one day came across same situation..told the man she did not want to..he said ok come back to my hotel room to pick up your money. She walks in sees money on table, and someone else waiting in room hiding. He then locks the door..and you know what happened. She has trauma telling this story..you can tell it was fucked up. So she came across someone who wasnt going to let her slide, someone she couldnt take advantage of...someone who made sure she played by the rules of the game. He obviously planned it beforehand, and expected sex, and invited a friend for the fun...but wasnt about to waste his time and money. She then told her pimp she was done escorting..he didnt care or even ask her anything about her encounters. She then continued to just carrier drugs for him. He would call her when we first startes dating saying **** like where are you..listen bitch you work for me..but she would say it was because of the drug business..

I have never heard any hoe stories about this girl..she is known by guys n girls as a good girl..good spirit..caring..kind soul type of girl..what do u all think..was it a set up to break her in..or was he not about to waste his money and leave him and his friend disappointed..or was she just selling **** and came across someone crazy

[PrincessPeachy]

It is terrible what happened to her and I pray for her healing. However, when you play with fire you are bound to get burned. She obviously has made some bad decisions in her life and I feel that she needs to know Jesus and His love. Do you know Jesus? 

What happened, whether a set up or not, can happen again. She needs to cut ties with her “pimp” and quite frankly, she needs to stop putting herself in shady situations. I am by no means saying she deserved what happened to her because she definitely doesn’t, but she needs to let that old lifestyle behind. 

Of course there are trust issues in your relationship when your partner is partaking in illegal activities. I’ll pray for you as well in hopes of making good choices concerning this relationship. 

[BK1110]

So what exactly is your problem Tomtom? Do you consider yourself a Christian? What about her?

[bryan]

On 12/18/2017 at 12:34 AM, Tomtom said:

I have been with my girl for 4 years. When we first started dating she told me she was an escort but never sold sex..but was raped by someone which led to her quitting. I have never believed the story..but after digging deeper with her she explained to me properly. 
...
I have never heard any hoe stories about this girl..she is known by guys n girls as a good girl..good spirit..caring..kind soul type of girl..what do u all think..was it a set up to break her in..or was he not about to waste his money and leave him and his friend disappointed..or was she just selling **** and came across someone crazy

So, you've been together for 4 years and have trust issues.  It sounds like she's been through a lot.  Is she completely out of escort work and not doing anything with that same crowd?  What's she doing now?

Your last question is confusing to me.  The details of her escort work are likely traumatic, emotional, difficult to discuss, and  affect her still even if she's left it behind for years.  Are you engaged or considering marriage?  I ask this because the level of trust and openness to required to discuss things like this is significant.  Much of that may not be things anyone would discuss easily.  There are valid concerns that other people may not understand or have perspective if they didn't go through something similar.  

So, is your relationship progressing and becoming more open and trusting?  Is something blocking it from proceeding?  This is all food for thought for you, of course.  Nobody here has the perspective to help with any specifics.

[Evgeniya]

Hello. Why do we even have to talk about her past ? Do you love her? Past is always smth hurtful, i can say that my past was not as perfect as some might think. She has to meet with Jesus to be reborn, Jesus takes our past, our pain away. it seems like she cannot forgive herself and seems like you cannot help her either. If you really wish that girl in your life then just close that topic both of you and never remind her of her past. And again, you will never help yourself and her without a Holy Bible, when she will start reading a Gospel, then the Spirit will push that pain out of her . it is not smth that humans can help with...