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I am a young single Christian woman of 26 years. I met a fellow church member outside of church, I knew him but at the time he didn’t know me. He plays an active role in church along with his wife. However, I made the worst mistake ever which was getting close to him. Initially it was nothing to me but a developing friendship but overtime it turned into something more and we got much closer, intimately, which of course I am ashamed to say. We agreed that we would not let it get to the stage of actual intercourse and that we should withdraw on the intimacy, however, it turned out that we didn’t exercise enough self-control and we eventually had intercourse on more than one occasions. It’s so painful, I’m burdened with guilt and shame, I feel like praying is pointless, worship is pointless, praising is pointless and I am not sure how to move on from here. We do not want it to continue because we know that it is wrong and God is definitely not pleased but I feel as if I’ve lost all connection with God. Do we need to publicly confess our sin to pastor and the church? Or can we just do a personal confession to God and repent? We definitely do not want this to be disclosed as it will be disgraceful for the both of us. I know it might not seem that way but we love God more than anything and are still committed to service for Him.

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Dear Anonymous26...

I don't personally believe in public confession.  I do believe in confessing our sins to one another.  That is what I see in Scripture.  AA or Celebrate Recovery says to confess the exact nature of our sins to one other human being.  We need grace and we only get it in a relationship.  Healing happens in a healthy relationship.  I would pray to find  a trustworthy friend to confide in.  Sin that is hidden is so much more difficult to overcome.  I think you will feel much better if you can do this and will hopefully have an easier time not giving in to temptation.  Go easy on yourself!!  It is much harder to conquer sin when we are hard on ourselves!! Praying for you and God bless you for your tender heart...and know that God loves you the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  His love doesn't change just because we mess up!!

jen

Edited by HikerMom
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And remember...God loves you and knows what is best for you!!  That is why He wants you guys to wait!!

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If you are truly sorry for what you've done, you need only admit that to God and beg forgiveness. Your connection with Him is lost only so far as you want it to be. Beg forgiveness from God.

You also need to cut off your relationship with this man immediately and completely. No contact whatsoever. You might see him around but I wouldn't even speak to him in public anymore.

When you say he has an active role in the church, if he's in a leadership position, he needs to confess this to the head pastor and step down from any formal leadership role he has. The pastor will decide how public things need to be made.

God bless you both! Forgiveness is there for you both, but you must reach out to take it, and sin no more!

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The whole point of Calvary was that none could be righteous … so God so loved that He built a perfect life, as man, in His Son and by the sacrifice of The Son God is made able to justify the ungodly... 'Ye must be born again' and in this new birth we should be constantly at war with our flesh and it's desires... we are intimately aware of this battle and it is God testifying to us that we are His and His perfect work can be relied upon because it is

Titus 3:5-8

5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;

7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

8 This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.
KJV
However our desire to love God through obedience should be extreme to say the least
Mark 9:43-50
43 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
44 Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
45 And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
46 Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
47 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:
48 Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
49 For every one shall be salted with fire, and every sacrifice shall be salted with salt.
50 Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his saltness, wherewith will ye season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another.

KJV
Prayed.... love, Steven

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