mathqueen Posted April 8, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 962 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/26/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/16/1975 Share Posted April 8, 2007 (edited) I need someone to help with this constant struggle. Some of you know the troubles I have had to deal with in my marriage, and yes, everything is ok now, but I always feel like my life would be so much better if I were single. Not married to someone else, mind you, just not married period. Do you know that I would be better off financially if I were not married to my husband? Which equals less stress, more control. Perhaps therein lies my problem, the lack of control. Also, I walk my faith all by myself in this relationship as he has no walk with God himself. Things sure look MUCH greener on the other side of the fence right now. For the almost 9 years we have been married, I have spent more time wishing I were not married than being happy that I am. I'm not going to get into the destructive infidelity that occured, some of you know that story already. WHY, I pray God to answer this question for me, AM I MARRIED??? I'm not going to file for divorce, I have accepted this unending state of knowing I would be better off single but accepting my married state. But I don't WANT to feel this way. I want to believe that I am better married than not. But I don't. Any words of wise council would be so mch appreciated. mathy Edited April 8, 2007 by mathqueen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floatingaxe Posted April 8, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 62 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 9,613 Content Per Day: 1.45 Reputation: 656 Days Won: 9 Joined: 03/11/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/31/1952 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Oh mathy! My heart goes out to you, dear. I believe that this is the lot of the wife who has been uncherished. When infidelity takes place, a wife can be magnanimous and forgive, but something dies, doesn't it? Especially when the betrayer doesn't share Christ with her. Unequally yoked, n'est-ce pas? You know all about it...no need for rehashing that one, eh? Only God can change this situation, but being or even feeling uncherished is not what God wants for you. It hurts His heart as much as a separation does. I will pray for you, mathy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathqueen Posted April 8, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 962 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/26/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/16/1975 Author Share Posted April 8, 2007 Thanks so much floaty dear. I knew you'd be one to respond to me, one of my dearest friends on here. You know, it's not even the uncherished thing. I actually don't feel uncherished, and he tries really hard to make me feel loved, and most of the time I do feel loved by him. But that's not enough. I believe my life would be better divorced. And that's a hard thing to unthink when your brain has nothing but more years of evidence to support that than the other way around. Unfortunately, I feel most people aren't going to touch this one because what can you say, really? While I'm sure many of you have been through difficult trials in your marriage, how many of you can say that you know that you know that you know that your life would be better if you were single? Or have been through what I have been through (and right you are floaty, no need to touch that one again eh?)? My best friend divorced her unfaithful husband and has never been happier. Like I said, I have spent more years than not KNOWING that would be true for me. Now I have more evidence of what could be. mathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest man Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Do you love your husband? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetically_taken Posted April 8, 2007 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 8 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 86 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/15/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/10/1990 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Hey hon, You are right that most people won't touch this one - 'cause it is hard to say anything about it. I'm not going to pretend that I know anything about this because I've never even had a boyfriend -yet alone been married - so I don't know anything about NOT being single but when I read this I immediately thought of this quote that I read in a blog and I just couldn't get it off my mind. So I figured it might be an important thing to post. The quote is: "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" I don't know if that means anything but I just felt a need to post it. I'll be praying for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floatingaxe Posted April 8, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 62 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 9,613 Content Per Day: 1.45 Reputation: 656 Days Won: 9 Joined: 03/11/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/31/1952 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Thanks so much floaty dear. I knew you'd be one to respond to me, one of my dearest friends on here. You know, it's not even the uncherished thing. I actually don't feel uncherished, and he tries really hard to make me feel loved, and most of the time I do feel loved by him. But that's not enough. I believe my life would be better divorced. And that's a hard thing to unthink when your brain has nothing but more years of evidence to support that than the other way around. Unfortunately, I feel most people aren't going to touch this one because what can you say, really? While I'm sure many of you have been through difficult trials in your marriage, how many of you can say that you know that you know that you know that your life would be better if you were single? Or have been through what I have been through (and right you are floaty, no need to touch that one again eh?)? My best friend divorced her unfaithful husband and has never been happier. Like I said, I have spent more years than not KNOWING that would be true for me. Now I have more evidence of what could be. mathy Love you, mathy! Follow after God's lead. He is your God, and He leads and favours you in this relationship. Fast and pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathqueen Posted April 8, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 962 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/26/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/16/1975 Author Share Posted April 8, 2007 Do you love your husband? Yes. mathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest man Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Do you love your husband? Yes. mathy Do you harbor any ill will toward him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathqueen Posted April 8, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 962 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/26/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/16/1975 Author Share Posted April 8, 2007 Hey hon, You are right that most people won't touch this one - 'cause it is hard to say anything about it. I'm not going to pretend that I know anything about this because I've never even had a boyfriend -yet alone been married - so I don't know anything about NOT being single but when I read this I immediately thought of this quote that I read in a blog and I just couldn't get it off my mind. So I figured it might be an important thing to post. The quote is: "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" I don't know if that means anything but I just felt a need to post it. I'll be praying for you! Thanks so much for that p.t. That's what I'm looking for, words of wisdom, encouragement. And you just provided some of that. Like I said, I'm looking for other ways to look at this because I do not want to feel this way. I want and need a godly perspective here. Anyone else care to tackle this with me? mathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathqueen Posted April 8, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 962 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/26/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/16/1975 Author Share Posted April 8, 2007 Do you love your husband? Yes. mathy Do you harbor any ill will toward him? That would be affirmative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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