This girl

[Ryal]

I wanted to talk to you about a person I know and how she is when it comes to hypocritcy.

Now please help me understand her better so the feelings of anger towards her will soon vanish.

She is young, 19 years old, been married for a year. Not that this really matters. Okay the point:

Hmmm...She claims to be a strong christian. Her and her husband both. They go to bible study and to church. They study the bible at home, pray and all around try to go by WWJD. She also listens and attends secular music/concerts, watches not so nice movies, calls people morons, and other non "swear" names jokingly to her friends, she thinks other men besides her husband is hott(not too sure if that is okay but I wouldn't do it) she has said that she would have "relations" with a certain movie star if she was given the chance, she drinks on occaission(not old enough) she judges people too often and she thinks too highly of herself.

Now, I am not a hater in anyway but when she judges how I live my life and she questions it and acts like she is the perfect christian girl and only because she has God in her heart then her actions are okay, everyone else stinks!

I was wicked close to her when I 1st met her. Our husbands are Marines and were great friends.

Then her true side came out and she became one of the biggest hypocrites I have ever know.

Please give me some insight on her so I can come to ease with this. Talking to her is like talking to a wall.

[Iryssa]

Like all of us, she is still in the refining process...however long she's been a Christian, she hasn't attained Christian maturity (and which of us can really claim to have attained that?) Show her love and patience, rebuking her out of love, not out of frustration (which probably means you'll have to spend some time working on your own heart's attitude towards her before approaching her). Live by example. Pray about coming alongside her as a Christian mentor. Pray pray pray. I'll bet we can all look back on a time in our Christian walks where we were being hypocritical or doing something else we'd rather not remember.

Honestly, some of it sounds like it stems from her own insecurity...a lot of people take to namecalling and being unnecessarily judgemental when they are afraid others will notice their own failings. She needs love, and she needs to be shown that she is a valued child of God.

[SeekerOfTruth]

Hi there.

Mathew 7:5 says "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." it sounds as if this verse was written just for her (by your description of what she does and say).

First of all, no one is perfect and no one is without sin. God did provide a way for us to be closer to Him and receive forgivness (Jesus), but this is not a free ticket to sin as much as you want (might be what she's thinking???)

I have a few family members that sound a lot like this friend of yours. I do believe however that they are good people though they have many mistakes (as we all do). The only thing I can suggest you do is to be like the Bible tells us to be... be like the salt of the earth (salt irritates) and tell her when what she does clashes with what she should do.

...edit...

Ok ignore what I wrote, Iryssa said everything much better :-)

take care

Edited July 13, 2007 by SeekerOfTruth

[FineChina]

I wanted to talk to you about a person I know and how she is when it comes to hypocritcy.

Now please help me understand her better so the feelings of anger towards her will soon vanish.

She is young, 19 years old, been married for a year. Not that this really matters. Okay the point:

Hmmm...She claims to be a strong christian. Her and her husband both. They go to bible study and to church. They study the bible at home, pray and all around try to go by WWJD. She also listens and attends secular music/concerts, watches not so nice movies, calls people morons, and other non "swear" names jokingly to her friends, she thinks other men besides her husband is hott(not too sure if that is okay but I wouldn't do it) she has said that she would have "relations" with a certain movie star if she was given the chance, she drinks on occaission(not old enough) she judges people too often and she thinks too highly of herself.

Now, I am not a hater in anyway but when she judges how I live my life and she questions it and acts like she is the perfect christian girl and only because she has God in her heart then her actions are okay, everyone else stinks!

I was wicked close to her when I 1st met her. Our husbands are Marines and were great friends.

Then her true side came out and she became one of the biggest hypocrites I have ever know.

Please give me some insight on her so I can come to ease with this. Talking to her is like talking to a wall.

[FineChina]

YOu know, I don't have any close friends (Well beside my family members of course!). but anyway I think that as a Christian you should pray for her. I mean we're not perfect human beings. You know what I think, the only reason why she's acting this way is either because she's jealous of you or she is searching for attention. And she may not get that attention from her husband. So in order for her to get the attention she demands, she acts out!! But don't worry Pray for her. Trust me, God will know how to deal with her!

[tigger398]

When you become a christian, Changes come as we grow more and more it sometimes not an over nite process, When I got saved oh my I was still bad and haven't changed right away, but as I stayed focus on God and as the years go by before you know it I started changing, Jesus did most of the changing, some people change fast others might take time, with Jesus in the heart the changes will come, and I still fall and sin, no is perfect no one will be perfect untill were with Jesus.

[Ryal]

Great advice all! She has been a christian for 4 years now. She seems to have more guy friends than women friends because she says that women gripe too much lol. She is a nice person but once she starts to look bad in anyway, she dimissed you. Like her and I started getting tired of each other and started picking at each other, pointing out our flaws and just being really judgemental. I always got along with her husband who has been a christian for many many years. Once her and I started to not be friends, she would overly make it a point to acknowledge my husband and not me. Invite him places like her husbands going away party and tell me that I have to tell her why I don't like her or not go at all. Like I had to audition or something. I wish you all knew her it would be so much easier than to try to explain her lol.

[nebula]

Hey Ryal -

I can get the idea of what you are referring to based on people I know myself. And yes, I know how frustrating and hurtful it can be.

There are two things I make an effort to remind myself:

1) You worry about your relationship with and right standing with the Lord first and foremost. Yes, that includes pulling out my logs before pulling out someone else's splinter. But more so - am I judging the other person's sin as a cover or justification for my own sin? Basic counceling psychology points out that the things that annoy us the most in others are things we ourselves are guilty of. Therefore, I make an effort to discipline myself towards grace rather thann judgment over someone else's sin. For I know I have faults that need to be dealt with as well, and it is better to face them than to deny them. If I can acknowledge that my sins are reactions to things I've learned growing up or bad ways I have dealt with the hurts in my life, how much more so is this the same in others? (Written another way, behind every fault there is a need.)

2) It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict and lead to righteousness, not mine. So I make the effort to pray for the person's walk with the Lord, even when I'm still stewing in anger. It is better to take your grievences to the Throne of Grace than to put yourself in the dangerous position of bitterness and unforgiveness.

I know that isn't exactly what you wanted to hear, but in all my years ofollwing the Lord, I have found this to be true.

Prayers and blessings to you, as I know this is a hard journey you are walking.

[forrestkc]

I wanted to talk to you about a person I know and how she is when it comes to hypocritcy.

Now please help me understand her better so the feelings of anger towards her will soon vanish.

She is young, 19 years old, been married for a year. Not that this really matters. Okay the point:

Hmmm...She claims to be a strong christian. Her and her husband both. They go to bible study and to church. They study the bible at home, pray and all around try to go by WWJD. She also listens and attends secular music/concerts, watches not so nice movies, calls people morons, and other non "swear" names jokingly to her friends, she thinks other men besides her husband is hott(not too sure if that is okay but I wouldn't do it) she has said that she would have "relations" with a certain movie star if she was given the chance, she drinks on occaission(not old enough) she judges people too often and she thinks too highly of herself.

Now, I am not a hater in anyway but when she judges how I live my life and she questions it and acts like she is the perfect christian girl and only because she has God in her heart then her actions are okay, everyone else stinks!

I was wicked close to her when I 1st met her. Our husbands are Marines and were great friends.

Then her true side came out and she became one of the biggest hypocrites I have ever know.

Please give me some insight on her so I can come to ease with this. Talking to her is like talking to a wall.

Ok wait a second. If you ask me, if your faith is so weak that you can't expose yourself to secular music and concerts, watch movies that kids should not watch, acknowledge when someone other than your spouse is nice looking, or drink, then your faith is pretty weak.

I like the old hymns but I cant stand contemporary christian music and never listen to it. I watch R rated movies sometimes. I joke with people I know all the time. And I enjoy a cold beer. None of that makes me any less of a Christian than anyone else, nor does it make me a hypocrite because I don't chastise others for doing the same.

[Iryssa]

I wanted to talk to you about a person I know and how she is when it comes to hypocritcy.

Now please help me understand her better so the feelings of anger towards her will soon vanish.

She is young, 19 years old, been married for a year. Not that this really matters. Okay the point:

Hmmm...She claims to be a strong christian. Her and her husband both. They go to bible study and to church. They study the bible at home, pray and all around try to go by WWJD. She also listens and attends secular music/concerts, watches not so nice movies, calls people morons, and other non "swear" names jokingly to her friends, she thinks other men besides her husband is hott(not too sure if that is okay but I wouldn't do it) she has said that she would have "relations" with a certain movie star if she was given the chance, she drinks on occaission(not old enough) she judges people too often and she thinks too highly of herself.

Now, I am not a hater in anyway but when she judges how I live my life and she questions it and acts like she is the perfect christian girl and only because she has God in her heart then her actions are okay, everyone else stinks!

I was wicked close to her when I 1st met her. Our husbands are Marines and were great friends.

Then her true side came out and she became one of the biggest hypocrites I have ever know.

Please give me some insight on her so I can come to ease with this. Talking to her is like talking to a wall.

Ok wait a second. If you ask me, if your faith is so weak that you can't expose yourself to secular music and concerts, watch movies that kids should not watch, acknowledge when someone other than your spouse is nice looking, or drink, then your faith is pretty weak.

I like the old hymns but I cant stand contemporary christian music and never listen to it. I watch R rated movies sometimes. I joke with people I know all the time. And I enjoy a cold beer. None of that makes me any less of a Christian than anyone else, nor does it make me a hypocrite because I don't chastise others for doing the same.

Forrest, please do be careful not to pass judgement on people for things like that...the Bible acknowledges that some have weak faith and some have strong faith, but it cautions us against looking down on one another for that sort of thing. (see Romans 14)