Emily~Anne Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 146 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,308 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 6 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/11/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2007 I want to add, we have a dear friend who is a quadriplegic. She is not even able to turn her head (she has a metal rod in her neck to hold her head up) or feed herself. At the time of her injury, her and her husband had 4 girls under the age of 6. They are almost grown now. I am telling you this just so that your family knows it can be done. Her daughters are a very big help to their mother. They feed her, hold her drink while she drinks through a straw, they check to make sure her urine bag is not too full, they straighten her up in the chair when she feels like she is falling over, they itch her face for her, they re-tie her wrists on to the wheelchair arms from time to time (otherwise her arms would fall off the arm rests and dangle), they give her manicures and pedicures complete with nail polish, etc., etc. Have you spoken to your wife about this? How does she feel? Is it possible she is angry and screaming all the time because she does not like having all those people in the house? That is something else to definately consider. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily~Anne Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 146 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,308 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 6 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/11/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2007 Why would kicking everyone out be necessary for your mental stability? I think your doctor should stick strictly to medical advice. Whom you live with is not a medical issue. my doc said that because of all the fighting thats going around here im disabled and cant get away from it im everyones personal punching bag they get mad they take it out on me and yes who i live with is a major part of ones health so it is a medical issue but of course if you live the good life then you have no idea what im asking...oak You had said in your op that it was for your mental well being. I do agree that the issue of your grandchildren using you as a punching bag must be addressed, otherwise they do need to leave. Your wife and daughter should be watching out for your safety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LadyC Posted August 4, 2007 Share Posted August 4, 2007 oak, does your daughter have an income? the ticker-tape in my head is ticking off a million miles a minute here. if you were to move out, you'd have to pay for a place to live. what if you were to offer (temporarily) to help your daughter financially so she can get her own place? is that even feasible? like the others have said, there's one too many women in the house. one too many cooks in the kitchen, one too many mamas trying to raise the kids. i bet your daughter feels as trapped as you do. and your wife feels just as trapped also. it would probably be a huge relief to everyone concerned if your daughter could move out and have her own place. if you live on a farm, is there at least a possibility of maybe getting a mobile home set up on your property? mobile homes are relatively inexpensive, and they have little resale value, so even if it wasn't a brand new one, you could probably purchase a repo for very little down. or is there a barn or anything on your property that could be converted into living quarters? or a garage, maybe? i think it's critical, not just for your own mental stability, but for EVERYONE's, that your daughter and grandchildren get their own place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily~Anne Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 146 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,308 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 6 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/11/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2007 *snip* if you live on a farm, is there at least a possibility of maybe getting a mobile home set up on your property? mobile homes are relatively inexpensive, and they have little resale value, so even if it wasn't a brand new one, you could probably purchase a repo for very little down. or is there a barn or anything on your property that could be converted into living quarters? or a garage, maybe? I love this idea. Our friend who is quadriplegic that I mentioned earlier, one of her daughters lives above the garage. This way she can have her independence, but is still very available to help her Mom. Oak, do you think you could benefit from having your daughter and her kids out of the house but still on the property so they can help? They could drive you places, take you to the doctor etc., basically share some of the load your wife has? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarletprayers Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted August 4, 2007 *snip* if you live on a farm, is there at least a possibility of maybe getting a mobile home set up on your property? mobile homes are relatively inexpensive, and they have little resale value, so even if it wasn't a brand new one, you could probably purchase a repo for very little down. or is there a barn or anything on your property that could be converted into living quarters? or a garage, maybe? I love this idea. Our friend who is quadriplegic that I mentioned earlier, one of her daughters lives above the garage. This way she can have her independence, but is still very available to help her Mom. Oak, do you think you could benefit from having your daughter and her kids out of the house but still on the property so they can help? They could drive you places, take you to the doctor etc., basically share some of the load your wife has? great idea, and proof that it works! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oakleaf Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 214 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/29/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/01/1963 Author Share Posted August 4, 2007 Why would kicking everyone out be necessary for your mental stability? I think your doctor should stick strictly to medical advice. Whom you live with is not a medical issue. my doc said that because of all the fighting thats going around here im disabled and cant get away from it im everyones personal punching bag they get mad they take it out on me and yes who i live with is a major part of ones health so it is a medical issue but of course if you live the good life then you have no idea what im asking...oak You had said in your op that it was for your mental well being. I do agree that the issue of your grandchildren using you as a punching bag must be addressed, otherwise they do need to leave. Your wife and daughter should be watching out for your safety. i didnt say my grands were using me as a punching bag but my daughters and wife are..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily~Anne Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 146 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,308 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 6 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/11/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2007 Oakleaf, your daughters and wife are physically assaulting you? How many daughters is this? Have you called your pastor for help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floatingaxe Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 62 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 9,613 Content Per Day: 1.45 Reputation: 656 Days Won: 9 Joined: 03/11/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/31/1952 Share Posted August 4, 2007 Sounds like a police matter to me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily~Anne Posted August 4, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 146 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,308 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 6 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/11/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2007 Sounds like a police matter to me... Yes it does! Oak, if I were you I'd post in the men's forum and get some man to man advice there. I am real sorry for what you are going through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily~Anne Posted August 5, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 146 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,308 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 6 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/11/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 5, 2007 Oakleaf, do you go to church? If not I very highly suggest you ask God to lead you to the right church. Someone will very likely be more than happy to come pick you up and assist you with getting in and out of church. Do not be afraid to ask for help for three reasons: 1) Those who help you will be rewarded greatly for their deeds in heaven. 2) As a wife and helpmeet of a paraplegic, I greatly appreciate help from others as my husband does need more help than your average husband. 3) The more people praying, the better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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