patricia1 Posted September 24, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 44 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,858 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 9 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/24/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/23/1957 Share Posted September 24, 2007 from damo1 hello Brian i know how you feel when my divorce came threw i have been on my own since 2000 yet i had not intrest in seeking out another partner as i wanted this time to heal and sort out some personal things i only met my wife to be who is a pastor in the philippines last year in jan 2006 my first wife was not a christian and she was a jehova wittness yet we are very close friends as we have a child and he is the best thing that has ever happend to me i am sorry to hear about what you are going threw as i have been on my own since i was 14 black sheep and i was not wanted by my father when he got married after divorcing my mum he made it clear that i was not wanted just give it time my friend let the lord work in you brian and if it gets to the point wear it hurts ask him to take that lonlines and fil it with his peace and love as he did this for me and its been an awsem experiance even though i have gotten so use to being on my own looking after my self doing al the house work and all the cooking i sort of liked it being on my own i tried sharing and got taken advantage off and i had some one stay hear a while back i went away he got on the inter net thinking i could trust him and know i am having to toss out the rubbish that he had looked at while on line i was not happy yet i had to forgive him and my neighbor is going to clear the porn sights he was looking at as i asked him to look after my place and warned him he can use the computer but he is not to log in to porn sights how foolish was i yet i learned and i am now having to put parent lock on so this does not hapen again if i ever have some one over but i dont think i wil do this again i wil keep you in my prayers take care from damo1 damien I got so use to being on my own That it was hard for me when I became a single parent and it was hard for me with her dad Mark as well...I missed the freedom I had and now I have to think of two. How everthing affects my daughter...but all in all she is aware of Mommy needing ALONE time now and I do not have to hide in the bathroom anymore!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 everything has been so hard lately ... not only am i struggling with lust (on top of alot of things), i also did some "spiritual house cleaning" about 2 weeks ago, in which i got rid of a ton of music, some books, and a number of movies ... and now i'm starting to feel the void, and it's just so hard ... the loneliness makes it even more difficult. the music was probably one of the hardest things to throw away ... i had alot of CDs and DVDs and one day, i asked my older brother for help and we filled up at least 2 garbage bags full of stuff and tossed it into the dumpster ... at first i felt great and free ... but reality didn't sink in until about a week later and now it's just hard. i pray for God to give me new emotions ... and He does, but at the same time it's becoming more and more apparent that this isn't going to be easy. i won't lie ... the lust seems to ease the stress levels too, it feels great at that moment ... but that ends very quickly, and the wave of guilt and depression follows immediately after and i'm tired of feeling this way. it's a torment. i have so many things in my life that i need to clean up ... You have taken some definite steps in the right direction, and now the enemy is coming against you. I've been through some similar things, but didn't have to throw out all those CD's. I lost pretty much everything in the material sense getting strung out on drugs. Bottom for me was walking into a rescue mission with the clothes on my back. That's when you know you're at the end of the "high" way. Good news is that God is on your side, and so are we. I've gotten an (unwanted) education in being alone since I came to Christ. Why this is I don't know, but it does give time to spend with the Lord in the Bible and in prayer. I work nights and my schedule puts me upside down with everyone else. I still go to church when I can, although not having a car makes it difficult during the week. If you are not already involved in a church, you need to be. The fellowship helps in dealing with battles like the one you describe and for all the others we go through as believers. Basically a lot of things we battle with are in our heads -- so fill your head with enough Scripture and there won't be room for anything else. Have a look at the RBC site, too. They have a lot of good stuff in the Discovery Series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca2 Posted September 25, 2007 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 91 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/25/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/22/1958 Share Posted September 25, 2007 everything has been so hard lately ... not only am i struggling with lust (on top of alot of things), i also did some "spiritual house cleaning" about 2 weeks ago, in which i got rid of a ton of music, some books, and a number of movies ... and now i'm starting to feel the void, and it's just so hard ... the loneliness makes it even more difficult. the music was probably one of the hardest things to throw away ... i had alot of CDs and DVDs and one day, i asked my older brother for help and we filled up at least 2 garbage bags full of stuff and tossed it into the dumpster ... at first i felt great and free ... but reality didn't sink in until about a week later and now it's just hard. i pray for God to give me new emotions ... and He does, but at the same time it's becoming more and more apparent that this isn't going to be easy. i won't lie ... the lust seems to ease the stress levels too, it feels great at that moment ... but that ends very quickly, and the wave of guilt and depression follows immediately after and i'm tired of feeling this way. it's a torment. i have so many things in my life that i need to clean up ... You've done some much needed housecleaning. Now you are missing all that 'stuff' that you admitted you don't need. But, all that stuff has been a part of your life for a long time. Of course you are going to feel a void. But, hey, think about it, all that stuff that was just coming between you and your walk with GOD is gone. You are FREE! Okay, so you're still a human being and living in a sinful world. But, you are Saved! So fill up that void left by sin and worldly stuff with things that will help you walk closer with GOD. You miss CD's - so get some good Christian music CD's. You miss DVD's - get some Christian DVD's. Get a good devotional to read every day. Study the Bible more. Don't just read the Bible, but find books that explain the Bible and the languages and history of the Bible. (The Bible is so amazing!) Get some Christian books. GOD can fill that void. He promised you that. [Psalms 23:5 My cup runs over.] Now you need to grab hold of all that He provides. Remember - GOD is much greater than any void. CHRIST has already defeated the evil one and all his temptations. You are the child of GOD. 1 Peter 1:6 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian85 Posted September 27, 2007 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 20 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/12/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1985 Author Share Posted September 27, 2007 (edited) thanks Rebecca, and yes i did read that booklet online. and everything that was mentioned was exactly was what i'm going through ... the cycle of: temptation -> giving into temptation -> feeling (brief) pleasure and release -> feeling guilt, anxiety, shame, fear -> saying, "i will never do this again, i promise" and then the cycle starts all over again. that booklet was really helpful in making me realize that i am not alone in this, other brothers are going through the same thing. i came across a podcast today of Charles Stanley and he was talking about sexual immorality and how so many young people (esp. college students) go down this road (premarital sex, etc.) and how spiritually, as well as physically, dangerous it is to do this. i used to think to myself, "well ... maybe if i get a nice girlfriend one day, and we eventually get married ... then this will all go away by itself ... i will stop when 'she' comes into my life." but of course, now i've learned that alot of Christian brothers have thought this way at first ... and recently i've begun to start thinking, "what if she never comes?" for all i know, it might not even be God's will for me to have a woman in my life ... and even if a girl did come into my life, this sin would most likely continue... because i can do nothing without God's help. --- one of my biggest fears is to be alone ... seriously. i am going on 22 years old, and i can't sleep at night without listening to talk radio or something because otherwise i would be totally afraid and feel completely alone ... i wish that life wasn't like this ... everyday i wish that Jesus would take me "home" to be with Him in heaven because i'm tired of living in a world like this. Edited September 27, 2007 by Brian85 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damo1 Posted September 27, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,822 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 19 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/23/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/16/1967 Share Posted September 27, 2007 from damo1 hay Brian i got on line and checked to see wear you are at and read your last post i wish there was more that what has been shared hear i know how you are feeling brian i have been on my own since 14r's old i have no parents and i had to learn to grow up fast how i often use to wish i had a family and a father i could have done things with and some one just to talk to yet i had to learn to live with out a family i am nearly 40 yrs old brian and i have battled with the same thoughts since i was 14 when i was in a relationship that filled the void for a while yet my relationships did not last that long some how i kept attracting my self to women who wear hurt in past relationships and when i tried to show i was not like there last boyfriend i found out they would test me which i hated this all i wanted was what most men take advantage off when in a relationship some one to come home to some one to do things with some one to talk to and go out to the movies or what ever a normal couple does but i had to do this all on my own and even all the house work cooking and doing my own clothes and making sure the unit i live in is cleaned and bills payed during the night it can be hard when you are single especially when watching tv and you see al these shows that are out know on happy familys happy couples and it use to get me mad you now what it still hits me yet i know i will have my partner hear soon and that void is no longer going to be there yet you need to see the future you need to look beyond your circumstances you are still young and you have every right to feel the way you are feeling but nothing is impossible with god he can bring two people together you just need to be patient and just allow your self to heal and work on what you need to work on my friend it will happen i met my partner on a singles christian dating sight yet before i met my future wife i told her i was getting so use to living the single life that at first it scared me when she asked me about marriage and being her partner we passed each others ph numbers as she kept on leaving me messages due to the profile i left on this christian sight called christian pen pals when it gets to wear it hurts especialy at night i pray and i find it helps i use to be like you listen to talk back when i was living in canberra i was listening to radio rehma a christian broad catsing station that played christian music all day had bible verses thrown and several different guests talking on how god came into there lives and at night they played all sorts of christian music from rock to praise to the latest bands coming out from america and britain so this was on at home constantly no tv just christian music ans a show called focus on the family what i also did is prayed and said lord you state its not right for a man to be on his own you blessed adam with eve you saw how he would benefit in this as you could not give adam what a women could give him and i ask that you bring me the person that is to be my friend my wife and mother to our kids and i left it at that so i will know from home brian be praying that the lord in his timing brings that person into your path you will know brian and trust me when i say this the lord lets no one down yes i have also had male friends hear say the same thing yet al the single christian guys i new ended up in stable relationships as we had formed a sort of support group for single christian males i kept in touch with these guys from wear i am living know and i was the last one out of the group and i told them by sending one email which got passed to the others and they all jumped for joy as my brothers stood in the gap for me trusting that god had a wife out their for me these guys even new my first wife and are an awsem bunch of men to have standing in the gap for you and my pastor hear was constantly praying and saying your time will come just don't question god and allow this to happen in his timing so this is all i can share to you from the heart brian to what i have been threw and i know this will happen for you brian you just need to be patient and allow god to be god i will come back to your post and see how you are going i am praying for you take care from your brother in the lord damo1 damien Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damo1 Posted September 27, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,822 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 19 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/23/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/16/1967 Share Posted September 27, 2007 from damo1 i for got to mention this in the post i left you when my divorce came threw i pushed a lot of these brothers out of my life and when it was all going bad they did not once give up on me even my old pastor and when things turned around in 2001 to wear i encounterd god in a power full way it was threw these brothers standing in the gap for me and my old pastor that saved me from ending up in jail i became bitter i became angry i found it hard to trust women or talk to women i avoided all contac with women and in august 2001 things changed for me my friend as if it wear not for these brothers standing in the gap for me i would be in jail know doing life for murder as everything came out in one hit brian to wear i took all my anger out on one drug dealer and i rang my old pastor but not until 2003 and he was so glad to hear my voice he told me not only wear they praying for my salvation but also to restore what i broke with my own hands this is al i wil say yet i am just saying i do understand my friend and i am praying for you from damo1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian85 Posted September 30, 2007 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 20 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/12/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1985 Author Share Posted September 30, 2007 damo1, and everyone else here who's praying for me, it means a great deal to me ... i'm still working on this and it's not easy. i will do some praying tonight as well ... i just hope that the Lord has mercy on me, because sometimes i feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world ... my heart begs for His mercy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest organdonation Posted October 15, 2007 Share Posted October 15, 2007 Brian, i am having issues with porn and watch adult movies. I tend to watch gay guys even though its wrong. What do I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
damo1 Posted October 15, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,822 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 19 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/23/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/16/1967 Share Posted October 15, 2007 Brian, i am having issues with porn and watch adult movies. I tend to watch gay guys even though its wrong. What do I do. from damo1 hay i was just reading threw brians post as i have been praying for brian even though you left this for brian i will answer your question in what you should do as i use to work in this industry when i was not a christian i use to protect the female strippers and workers these guys had under their control ok first i gave some points in another topic to a person who was addicted to porn and wanting advice their is a church called xxx.churh in america do a google and you will come to their sight you can email them and they will email you back and give you advice 1 you need to repent are you a christian ? 2 make an apointment to talk to a counseler as these guys are trained if possible proffesional christian counseler with in the area you live in and these guys will not judge you but work with you 3 you need to be acountable to some one watching what you are watching is leaving door open it is filth and it is wrong to be viewing this rubish 4 you need to be real about wanting to deal with this as its no good saying i am having trouble in this area and leaving it in cyber space for every one to see if you are not willing to adress this 5 read gods word get rid of what you have burn it throw it in the bin do what ever but get this filth out of your home 6 do not beat your self around the head you are human repent openly ask jesus to help you in this area if you have been baptized the holy spirit lives with in he is your guide that means what ever you touch what ever you see what ever you taste he sort of gets bombarded with al the rubbish you alow your self to view be real as i said and nail this to the cross and do not look to the left or to the right as for a man to be watching gay movies its wrong as this will invite other spirits to come in and one day it will lead you to this life style as you are feeding that spirit that is active know with in you and you need to nail this and alow god to remove this so i have given you some points and i pray you take what i have given you i got rid of all my porn i had even my magazines which i collected when i was not a christian but when christ came into my life this was the first thing the holy spirit bought to the surface i dug a big hole in my back yard wear i was renting and sort of had other male friends from church and i set it a light and have never looked back or felt the need to look at the rubish i was watching take crar from damo1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desi2007 Posted October 15, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 61 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,220 Content Per Day: 0.20 Reputation: 219 Days Won: 3 Joined: 10/05/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/18/1966 Share Posted October 15, 2007 I am a Christian, I believe God's Word to be true and I am trying to change my life in a way that pleases God ... but, apart from many sins, there is one particular sin that i am having a real hard time with and that is Lust. Throughout my school and college years, I was forunate in the sense that I didn't fall into the same trappings that my peers did (drinking, partying, smoking, etc.), but there was one area that I've often struggled with and that is lust. For alot of years I justified it, but now as I'm trying to rebuild my relationship with Christ, I see now that it is very selfish and very wrong - it brings me nothing but guilt, emptiness, and depression. I need help on how to deal with this ... any advice would help me out greatly. Thanks for taking the time to read this. hi brian, remember, As a person thinks in his heart, so he will become. You must make a choice to keep focused on higher things. Its not going to automatically happen, your going to have to put some effort into this. God will help you, but you are going to have to make decisions every day choosing the good rejecting the bad. If you entertain those lust feelings each time then God can not work in that situation. God works where theres an attitude of faith. may God richly bless you with strong will and self control, desi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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