Pregnant fiancee

[sierra21]

Thank you everyone for the support. I just got to work and I had to step into the bathroom right before I could start reading damo1's post because my eyes were swelling with tears. I'm not very close with my mother or father, both divorced, remarried with kids, both unbelievers. I know they don't see me being able to be a father (here I am about to cry again), and that hurts me. I've made poor decisions in my life and I occasionally tell my fiancee that I think they think I'm a failure. I see this as another reason for them to think that. I try to do the right things but one problem is that I never seem to be able to stand up for myself. But this time it's not about standing up for me, but my child.

Hey Schwol,

This line spoke to me:

I'll go with the bare minimum to give him or her the maximum.

I am not exactly qualified to give advice or anything here (I'm only 16) but I think that you have the perfect attitude to deal with your situation. You are willing to make sacrifices for your unborn child (and praise the Lord that you do not want to abort him/her!!!) and I know that you can get through this.

I would try not to drop out of college if you can avoid it, but of course, your child has to take precedence over college. You said you were working 30-35 hours a week, so there is only so much more you can do there. Make sure you are willing to accept help, you said your fiancee does not like the idea but you sound like you are going to need all the help you can get.

Make sure you tell your parents, I understand how hard that will be, but I am certain the results will beat trying to keep it a secret from them and despite them being angry and disappointed, I am sure you will be grateful for their help when you desperately need it.

Your situation won't go away without some hard work, but I believe you can do it. Remember to pray about it often, and I will pray for you as well.

God Bless,

Keilan

I really don't want to drop out of school. I'm about to get my associates in pre-physical therapy and will move on to a local university for the final 4 years of my Master's. We have so many people who would be absolutely overjoyed to help us in any way, I feel so blessed. We will tell my parents, once we find out for sure. I'm done with secrets. I've had so many problems stemming from them. Thank you for the prayers.

If she's "not even late yet", her stomach could not be stretching due to pregnancy. That doesn't occur until the 3rd or 4th month. Instead of just wondering, why not get a home pregnancy test and find out for sure? You may be worrying for nothing.

Yeah I was just going to say the same thing. Before you start worrying and turning your whole life upside down- find out if she's really pregnant. This whole thing could be God's way of straightening the two of you out!

If she turns out to not be pregnant I suggest you either change your living situation or get married. And for goodness sakes STOP having sex until you're married!

If she is pregnant- you need to get married. And then you need to start working your little butt off to make some money. If you are in a low income wage bracket you could be entitled to medical assistance. And if not keep in mind there are cheaper alternatives when it comes to birth. If your fiancee is comfortable with it you could have a home birth with a midwife which is a very safe option if the pregnancy is low risk.

No matter what you decide to do you need to stop making mindless mistakes. You're both christians, you're both adults- start acting like it!

She had periods for the first few months of her last pregnancy as well. This is why we're worried. We are looking, well I am looking, into ALL available assistance options we have. She's not doing it because she doesn't need the stress right now. I'm calling and emailing everyone I can. Don't know much about home birth's though.

Dear Schwol,

You sound, to me, like a man that has his head on straight. Your words are elequent and you appear to be wise beyond your years. What you need is to lose something...Fear. You are one of god's kids, he has all the finances and resourses you and everyone of us will ever need. My sense is that you and your girl friend will, with god's wisdom move in the right direction. I am proud of you as a brother in christ, to have brought all these issues to the light. You should stand proud when you walk into church, not embarassed! If you love this woman, than don't be afraid to marry her. God will bless it and you. Trust that he will provide all of your needs because he will, always.

Lord I pray for Shawol and his girl friend that you show him clearly your will in this situation. God tear down any fear involved in his life over these issues. And god I ask you show him how proud you are of him for being the man you created him to be. Jesus your the best! amen

I'm just a good writer. I've always been. I was always a little ahead of my class until college, where I thought I could get by doing the same things I did in high school. One ironic, if I can use the word, thing is that we just started being leaders in a youth bible study, regarding troubling issues teens go through, divorce, drugs, all that. We watch a video and then break up into small groups by age and sex and just talk with them and try to get them to open up. I like it. But I feel like a horrible example for any kid. My problem is that I don't trust God enough. I need to do everything on my own, all the time. I'm trying to fix that, and get closer to God.

Hi Schwol,

I really don't have anything else to add. Thank you for sharing this with us so we can hold all of you up in prayer. Please let us know how all of you are doing.

Man, I could talk forever. I hope all these quotes and whatnot don't bother anyone. I'm doing good. Stuffy right now from crying.

hey schwol,

it sounds to me like you are ready. after reading all the posts it sounds like your new child is already surrounded in love. that is the most important thing to offer him or her. yes you are young, but my son came into this world when i was only 17. so i know how you feel. know that once that beautiful baby gets here you are not alone. once everyone meets him or her its like a whole new world. like an instant acceptance to the family.

having kids is scary, but its also a blessing for an entire family.

He/She IS completely surrounded with love. I think the exact same thing you said. Both of our families don't know each other well. I think this is a chance for me and Athena to get closer to my family. Her family knows more about the present ME than mine does. I wish that the instant shock would last a very short time and we can move on and do what needs to be done. I'm not going to be asking for everything I need from my parents. I'd rather go super small budget but give my child everything he/she needs than burden the rest of my family, who have helped me with so much, with more problems. I know for a fact my dad will be so proud to have a grandchild. I know my child will be beautiful.

And damo.. That's one scary story. I pray that you find your kid and he accepts you and loves you back. In a perfect world, parents and children would never be separated. You are definitely in an uphill battle, with the birth certificate nonsense, but you have faith and that will get you what you desire. I'm happy my fiancee had dreams of homeschooling and not working. Not to say women don't belong in the workforce, ladies we're all equals. At least she didn't have her dreams of being an astronaut smashed because of us. I'll end it here. Here is US

I wish I could put the pics right here but here are links to them.

http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/274/athenamq4.jpg

Athena

http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/9310/bryan1mt3.jpg

Athena and her cousin's baby, Bryan, who I love like a son.

http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/1573/bryan2cn0.jpg

He's so silly

http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/1403/bryan3lt6.jpg

These are all old. Give you some new ones later

http://img158.imageshack.us/img158/6948/usqq4.jpg

And... us

Okay, I don't mean to be negative- but MAN- despite what everyone else is saying here I really think you're showing a great deal of immaturity on this whole issue.

Do you have ANY IDEA how much babies cost?? And it's not a one time cost- it last a LIFETIME!

Also, I really think you're being unrealistic about your schooling. I really REALLY doubt that you'll be able to go to school fulltime, work fulltime, and on top of that parent and foster a loving marriage. It all takes a LOT of time- and if you think its going to be easy- its NOT!

You're 21 years old! You have a lot of time ahead of you so I suggest taking your gf to the doctor, finding out if she's pregnant, and then taking the appropriate measure. If she is pregnant, you're going to have to start lookiing at your life a little more seriously- and so is she.

ANd if she's not pregnant- STOP HAVING SEX! THis junk about "oh well its so much temptation"- thats CRAP! It's up to you to make sure there is no temptation. Move out into your own place and start having a relationship that will honor Christ. If you don't want to stop having sex, then get married. But what you guys have going on is just plain ridiculous. You're not so young that you shouldn't understand the potential consequences of having sex- especially considering YOU ALREADY GOT HER PREGNANT ONCE! Wasn't that mistake enough???

I'm sorry, but clearly someone needs to be the bad guy. You gotta change your life because you're so off track it isnt even funny. Start making the changes NOW.

[Schwol]

True someone needs to be the bad guy. Thanks for being honest. The temptation stuff you talk about is true. That's definitely my fault. I accept full responsibility for whatever happens now and in the future. I don't think any of this will be anywhere near easy, but it will be worth it. I'm ready to sacrifice everything I have for my fiancee and possible child. I don't really know what to expect, which is why I'm freaking out. In retrospect, I see exactly how you see me as immature in this situation. My stupid sins brought this on me and us. I just wish somehow Athena didn't have to be involved. I don't want her to fear her family's reaction like she does. I'm going to get a test today. Thanks and bye

[kat8585]

True someone needs to be the bad guy. Thanks for being honest. The temptation stuff you talk about is true. That's definitely my fault. I accept full responsibility for whatever happens now and in the future. I don't think any of this will be anywhere near easy, but it will be worth it. I'm ready to sacrifice everything I have for my fiancee and possible child. I don't really know what to expect, which is why I'm freaking out. In retrospect, I see exactly how you see me as immature in this situation. My stupid sins brought this on me and us. I just wish somehow Athena didn't have to be involved. I don't want her to fear her family's reaction like she does. I'm going to get a test today. Thanks and bye

Remember that it takes two to tango, as well.

[Schwol]

Remember that it takes two to tango, as well.

True, but all the while I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I willingly give in to my flesh. I just want to give Athena and my baby the best. I may have screwed up big time, but I pray God will care for us.

[Treasure]

Remember that it takes two to tango, as well.

True, but all the while I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I willingly give in to my flesh. I just want to give Athena and my baby the best. I may have screwed up big time, but I pray God will care for us.

He will care for all of you but that doesn't mean He's going to make it easy on you. You can't continue to live the way you've been living and expect Him to bless it.

[Schwol]

She has her period now. I'll still buy a test within the next week. I was in the most difficult spiritual drought the last few weeks. I had people praying intensely over me, feeling nothing, hardly believing, not caring about God or the Word. I'm a skeptic by birth and sometimes have a hard time believing he's really there. Sometimes I think we're all just crazy (me and my close family in Christ). Once I get thinking like that, it's almost impossible to have any heart felt worship. I'm feeling better now and am actually bummed out that I didn't read my bible today.. My fault though. On a side note, I'm starving. Have a great day everyone!

[Treasure]

She has her period now. I'll still buy a test within the next week. I was in the most difficult spiritual drought the last few weeks. I had people praying intensely over me, feeling nothing, hardly believing, not caring about God or the Word. I'm a skeptic by birth and sometimes have a hard time believing he's really there. Sometimes I think we're all just crazy (me and my close family in Christ). Once I get thinking like that, it's almost impossible to have any heart felt worship. I'm feeling better now and am actually bummed out that I didn't read my bible today.. My fault though. On a side note, I'm starving. Have a great day everyone!

This is reason to celebrate but you don't seem to be very thankful for this.

[Schwol]

She has her period now. I'll still buy a test within the next week. I was in the most difficult spiritual drought the last few weeks. I had people praying intensely over me, feeling nothing, hardly believing, not caring about God or the Word. I'm a skeptic by birth and sometimes have a hard time believing he's really there. Sometimes I think we're all just crazy (me and my close family in Christ). Once I get thinking like that, it's almost impossible to have any heart felt worship. I'm feeling better now and am actually bummed out that I didn't read my bible today.. My fault though. On a side note, I'm starving. Have a great day everyone!

This is reason to celebrate but you don't seem to be very thankful for this.

Well she had it for a short time yesterday, she told me now that it's not there. So don't really know what to expect.

Edited October 22, 2007 by Schwol

[Treasure]

She has her period now. I'll still buy a test within the next week. I was in the most difficult spiritual drought the last few weeks. I had people praying intensely over me, feeling nothing, hardly believing, not caring about God or the Word. I'm a skeptic by birth and sometimes have a hard time believing he's really there. Sometimes I think we're all just crazy (me and my close family in Christ). Once I get thinking like that, it's almost impossible to have any heart felt worship. I'm feeling better now and am actually bummed out that I didn't read my bible today.. My fault though. On a side note, I'm starving. Have a great day everyone!

This is reason to celebrate but you don't seem to be very thankful for this.

Well she had it for a short time yesterday, she told me now that it's not there. So don't really know what to expect.

Are you saying that she's not actually menstrating?

[Schwol]

She has her period now. I'll still buy a test within the next week. I was in the most difficult spiritual drought the last few weeks. I had people praying intensely over me, feeling nothing, hardly believing, not caring about God or the Word. I'm a skeptic by birth and sometimes have a hard time believing he's really there. Sometimes I think we're all just crazy (me and my close family in Christ). Once I get thinking like that, it's almost impossible to have any heart felt worship. I'm feeling better now and am actually bummed out that I didn't read my bible today.. My fault though. On a side note, I'm starving. Have a great day everyone!

This is reason to celebrate but you don't seem to be very thankful for this.

Well she had it for a short time yesterday, she told me now that it's not there. So don't really know what to expect.

Are you saying that she's not actually menstrating?

I don't know the official word yet. She's at work, can't really talk. She did last month. It started yesterday, bought her tampons, today its gone i think. Buying a test tonight.