Ericka Posted March 14, 2004 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 57 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 591 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/15/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/15/1989 Share Posted March 14, 2004 I am losing faith. Really, really losing it. I find it hard to pray, so I write it down, but I feel like God's not listening. OR helping. I feel like I want to rush through life, like I am living to die, and like dying and going to hell is what I am going to get. i lost one of my only friends that i have right now, because i am stupid, and she was one person i know I could count on to talk to. I feel like God's making me must've been a mistake, and I feel like now he's allowing me as a person to break. Because i feel like nothing. I want the end of my life to come, and I want it to come now. Because everyone that REALLY gets to know me hates me. I don't know what to do. I feel like I am losing everything, especially my relationship with God. And I just feel like He's not listening to my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LCPGUY Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 I am losing faith. Really, really losing it. I find it hard to pray, so I write it down, but I feel like God's not listening. OR helping. I feel like I want to rush through life, like I am living to die, and like dying and going to hell is what I am going to get. i lost one of my only friends that i have right now, because i am stupid, and she was one person i know I could count on to talk to. I feel like God's making me must've been a mistake, and I feel like now he's allowing me as a person to break. Because i feel like nothing. I want the end of my life to come, and I want it to come now. Because everyone that REALLY gets to know me hates me. I don't know what to do. I feel like I am losing everything, especially my relationship with God. And I just feel like He's not listening to my prayers. Hi Ericka :il: I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. Yet be assured, you are not alone. I know, for I have had the EXACT same feelings as you are having. God is both listening to you and watching you. No matter what you think, no matter what you may feel, HE LOVES YOU And wants the best for you. :hug: For starters, if the friend you think you lost because you were stupid (which you're not or you wouldn't be here) was a real trustworthy and wise friend, go see her and apologize for whatever you did to offend her. Humility is the beginning of wisdom. If she is a true friend God wants you to have, she will take you back. If not, then it's not a real lose. Young lady, don't ever say or think again that you are a mistake!!! Got it??? You are NOT a mistake, but a beautiful creation of Christ's. Wether you believe it or not, YOU ARE!!! And please don't think or talk about your life ending. That is up to the Lord alone. He has you here for a reason. Quite possibly He has you in His school now, His training camp. It's very often a tough camp, but always effective. Remember, He refines with fire. And He does it because He loves you and wants to grow you up as an effective servant and child of His. You see, all you can see is the present, but God can see the future and He is probably preparing you for wondrous things that you don't know of, but He does. Pray that God fills you with Love first off. He will honor that. Cling to Him with all your might and strength. You will not be disappointed. Be patient, and WAIT upon the Lord... Chin up kiddo and march forward in Him!!! Your brother John, who prays for you and loves you :hug: LET GO, LET GOD... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catsmeow Posted March 14, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 439 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 7,315 Content Per Day: 0.93 Reputation: 356 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/21/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted March 14, 2004 Okay, Ericka..I just pleaded God's protective hedge upon you....He's not abandoned you. I might ask you to remove anything in your house or home that has any kind of occult connotation, including ouija boards, tarot cards, Dungeon and Dragon paraphenalia or anything occultic. That might break a hole in your hedge... If that doesn't apply to you situation, just plead the blood of Jesus over you right now...you are covered under that blood. Satan is attempting to cast a spirit of fear upon you. Fear is a spirit...a very real spirit and willing to attack you at every opporunity...don't give up faith in favor of fear. It's a trick. God has not abandoned you, nor will He. He cannot lie. "I will never leave you or forsake you..."...Remember? Jesus has promised He will not leave you ...not now ...not ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebula Posted March 14, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 5,823 Topics Per Day: 0.75 Content Count: 45,870 Content Per Day: 5.94 Reputation: 1,897 Days Won: 83 Joined: 03/22/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/19/1970 Share Posted March 14, 2004 Ericka, baby! :hug: It's OK to have your struggle. Actually, you are in good company. We all have our lonely and dark struggles like this. Even the "great men of faith" had their times where they gave up on God. Twice, Abraham used Sarah to save himself rather than trust in God. Peter denied Jesus. Job accused God of being unjust for what he was going through. Even Elijah asked for death. I know your circumstances are hard. I've been stuck too for many years. In some areas, I am still stuck, and I keep asking God, "When will You deliver me?" I think of the Israelites in Egypt crying to God for freedom from slavery. God answered their prayers with the birth of Moses, but it would take another 80 years before Moses was ready to confront Pharoah. 80 years! So many people who cried out to God never saw the deliverance. But the deliverance still came, and their decendants enjoyed that freedom. If you get the chance, I highly recommend getting a hold of the book Arena by Karen Hancock Link here . A friend gave the book to me because she believed I needed it. She was so right! It's a Christian sci-fi/fantasy, but it puts the Christian walk and relating to God in such a vividly imaginitive way and speaks in a language that makes so much more sense to our way of thinking that it did wonders for me in understanding the presence of God. I "feel" God's presence more real now - now that I've learned how to find and recognixe it. It's always been there, it is just that in reading how the main character found the "link' I was able to apply tihis to my life, and WOW! There it is! God bless you, Ericka! You are such a dear heart! I don't know what happened with your friend, and I hope there is a redemption, some way to appologize to her and some way to build the trust back up again. I pray the graciousness of the Lord overshadow you daily. I love you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheercoach Posted March 14, 2004 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 114 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/04/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted March 14, 2004 Ericka, I feel the way you do alot. I pray for a friend, and then when I start to get a little bit close to someone, I do or say something really stupid and then I avoid that person and blow the chance to have a friend. I feel like I'm just totally unlikable and am doomed to be lonely forever. I've been in this wilderness condition for some time now, but every now and then, God shows up and let's me know that He's still there. I purposefully tell Him that I trust Him. I know that He's trying to help me grow and I'll be glad for it some day. He hasn't forsaken you. And your friends here won't either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest yod Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 Hey Ericka, I like you. Can we be friends? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ericka Posted March 14, 2004 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 57 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 591 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/15/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/15/1989 Author Share Posted March 14, 2004 thank you everyone, for your thoughts, and prayers. Even just for your replies.All of you are so sweet. Thank you. I can't even express how much all of your words mean to me right now. I really appreciate it. Thank you all again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LCPGUY Posted March 14, 2004 Share Posted March 14, 2004 Ericka, I saw this and it made me think of you :il: In His Love, John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catsmeow Posted March 14, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 439 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 7,315 Content Per Day: 0.93 Reputation: 356 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/21/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted March 14, 2004 Wow! That's beautiful, John... See Ericka, you got the guys sending you flowers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papasangel Posted March 14, 2004 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 70 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,513 Content Per Day: 0.19 Reputation: 39 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/19/2002 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/27/1959 Share Posted March 14, 2004 Ericka:Don't make me come and get you young lady. You are special, God don't make junk you are special not only in God's eyes but our eyes here as well. Life stinks sometimes and I don't know the whole story withyour friend and all but its her decision if she wants to stay mad at you. It takes TWO to make an argument remember that. Sometimes God uses a spat to strengthen the bonds of friendship later. I know that for a fact. I had a best friend I paled around with in elementry school. in the 5th grade others there started making fun of her because she hung around me. So we fought. For three years we didn't say a word to anyone. And then one day she had fallen down the steps at school. She had braces and everyone was standing around laughing at her. I went to her and helped her up and told her will you just listen to the jack a--es braying today. Needless to say we got back together and in my sophomore year her brother had spiked her soda with some type of drug to see his sister wig out. She died in my arms before the medics got there. Her last words was goodbye friend. Ok enough of the tears here okay? :sweating: The moral of the matter is it give it to God. If its meant to be it will be. If not then it never was. A wise man named Jonathan Livingston Seagull wrote that and I like that. so get over here for a hug sis. :t: :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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