Train them Up

[Treasure]

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." This verse from Proverbs 22:6 is the desire of most of the parents to whom I have ever talked. The question I am usually asked is, "How is it done? How can we train our children to love God and live for Him?"

I'm sorry to say, the majority of Christian parents that I have encountered believe this verse means that we should lecture our children about Jesus and that we should send them to church and Sunday school. "Here's my child, Mr. Sunday school teacher/youth leader. Fix my kid and teach him about Jesus." I have talked to literally hundreds of parents who have tried this and they don't understand why their children have no desire to live for Jesus.

The majority of children raised by Christian parents will not live for Jesus as adults. In fact, research has shown that as many as 70-75 percent of children raised by Christian parents will NOT live for Jesus as adults. How can this be? Either we don't have the Truth of Jesus or we are conveying this Truth improperly. I believe the latter is the case.

Deuteronomy 6:7 indicates how God would have us teach our children to love Him. The previous two verses (6:5-6) are commands that we should love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and that the commandments of God should be in our heart. Then in 6:7 we are told to "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

This verse is a COMMAND for us to teach our children at four specific times: (1) when we sit down as a family, (2) when we are walking together, (3) when we lie down, and (4) when we rise up. Is that what is happening in your home? If you are like most Christians, you are probably doing just the opposite! Think about it.

When your family is sitting at home, what is usually taking place? You are probably watching television/DVDs, playing video games, or eating; or doing all three -- often at the same time. That's right, when we are sitting at home, the television or video games are probably doing most of the teaching, not Mom and Dad. And the worst part, research has shown that these sources of entertainment are also very effective teaching tools that are probably teaching values that are against the commands of God.

How about when we "walk along the road?" In today's society, we usually don't use walking as a means of family transportation. We drive our car. What is usually happening when our family is in the car? Besides arguing, we are listening to music or watching videos. And what is the teaching that is taking place? For the most part, the entertainment of today is teaching a philosophy that is against biblical values. Another missed opportunity!

How about "when you lie down and when you get up?" In other words, when you go to bed at night and get up in the morning. The majority of us are watching the news, Leno, or Letterman when we go to bed. And when we get up in the morning it's usually the local talk or rock radio station.

Think about it. Even if the television/DVDs, games, and radio programs weren't spewing out philosophies that are against biblical values, God says these are prime opportunities for teaching our children to love him. Are we?

When you are eating, driving, going to bed, and waking up, are you using that time to impress the values of God on your children -- or are you allowing the enemy to impress his values? It's your choice.

onenewsnow

[Merin]

We do pretty good... I think our family could do better at getting up! The kids are pretty much up way before me...LOL

[kat8585]

We are also to teach them "here a little and there a little".

I think one of the worst things a parent can do is put a tv in a child's bedroom. I may be stepping on toes here, but their bedroom should be for sleeping and reading good reading material, like the Bible as number one.

This is also one of the best arguments for sitting down as a family and talking at meals, and not fast food. I'm older, but I look back and consider myself one of the lucky ones. We never had a tv at all, let alone in my room. We ate home-cooked meals together at the table (we hadn't heard of fast food back then), and after supper, we all did dishes, then read, played games, talked, or did something else constructive. My mom sometimes played the piano and we'd sing. Or we'd play old time records on our old upright victrola. We'd play with real toys, like dolls, and such, not computer games.

We didn't have a phone either.

Back in those days, we might have been ironing clothes in the evening that we'd sprinkled earlier. I learned how to do all that pretty young.

IMO, kids don't need every new fad that comes along to take up more time they could use for spiritual things. Satan will make sure they have no time For God. He will turn these things into gods.

[Merin]

We are also to teach them "here a little and there a little".

I think one of the worst things a parent can do is put a tv in a child's bedroom. I may be stepping on toes here, but their bedroom should be for sleeping and reading good reading material, like the Bible as number one.

This is also one of the best arguments for sitting down as a family and talking at meals, and not fast food. I'm older, but I look back and consider myself one of the lucky ones. We never had a tv at all, let alone in my room. We ate home-cooked meals together at the table (we hadn't heard of fast food back then), and after supper, we all did dishes, then read, played games, talked, or did something else constructive. My mom sometimes played the piano and we'd sing. Or we'd play old time records on our old upright victrola. We'd play with real toys, like dolls, and such, not computer games.

We didn't have a phone either.

Back in those days, we might have been ironing clothes in the evening that we'd sprinkled earlier. I learned how to do all that pretty young.

IMO, kids don't need every new fad that comes along to take up more time they could use for spiritual things. Satan will make sure they have no time For God. He will turn these things into gods.

no iphones?

[Guest]

This reminds me of a couple of kids I saw on the city bus a few months ago.

The 2 boys were around 14-15 or so, and one was complaining bitterly to he friend about being dragged off bodily to a relatives' ranch in Montana. He betterly bewailed the lack of TV, high speed internet, no cell service, no television (he made a big deal of that!), and host of other complaints mainly associated with working on the ranch. He made it sound like he was going to the gallows or some other horrible death.

I heard the entire conversation, and couldn't help but laugh! The kid got mad when he heard me laughing uncontrollably a few seats away and asked me what my problem was.

I told him he was describing my teenage years, and the experience of something called "real life" outside of all the electronic toys kids have to play with now.

His response is not printable here.

But I was amused by the whole thing.............

[Rick-Parker]

There is a big difference between training and pointing. I agree with the OP, that many parents just send their kids to Sunday School and Bible study. The way you coach/lead is by example, it takes hands on love and guidance. Kids look to their parents for direction and support. If "religion" is all they see, then they can't know what a relationship with God is. It is our responsibility. One that God will hold us accountable to.

[Treasure]

There is a big difference between training and pointing. I agree with the OP, that many parents just send their kids to Sunday School and Bible study. The way you coach/lead is by example, it takes hands on love and guidance. Kids look to their parents for direction and support. If "religion" is all they see, then they can't know what a relationship with God is. It is our responsibility. One that God will hold us accountable to.

[ps127v1]

I agree with the original post. My family has made it a point to every night since the birth of my first son to read the bible every night. Discuss what God's word is saying after the reading. We kneel next to his bed and he prays first, then my wife. When the whole routine is finished along with singing, I pray with him. When we discipline him, we talk about God's discipline and why it is important to listen to instruction. We listen to worship music, slow and fast tempo, so that he can have in his mind songs about God. I'm not saying that we do everything perfect, because I fail him often with my temper which he has picked up a bit, but we try to show him how to live for God.

He was asked by a cashier at a grocery store the other day what he was going to teach his little brothers. He said, "I'm going to teach them that God loves me and them." I think he's on the right track, just hope to foster it into a lifestyle and hopefully, prayerfully he'll accept Christ into his heart as his personal Lord and Savior.

[lakefrontgirlmi]

Im feeling extremely blessed with how my daughter turned out, now going on 25 yrs old, who never went thru the terrible 2's or anything like that. I can honestly say the worst thing shes done to date was as a teen I sent her to get butter at a huge local chain of grocery stores we had in Cali, (get ready to laugh hard here)..and she came home without butter, saying they were all out of every type of butter or margarine (yea right) yet she had in hand a christian music magazine! To this day its still funny when I think about it, even to her. I homeschooled my daughter from 2nd grade til she graduated high school a year early, and to tell someone how to raise their kids is something we cant really do. I homeschooled her thru a charter school and only used christian curriculum, and she was involved in so much, they had alot to offer the kids. We couldnt afford private christian schooling, but I can say I know a few couples that put themselves first, going out with friends every night of the week (literally every night) and the kids did without mom and dad each night, and to this day the kids are very distant with the parents and the parents wonder "what did we do wrong". When you raise your kids without lecturing but talking instead, and I dont mean talk every moment you see them, that can be lecturing...there are ways of doing it, when you see something beautiful like the ocean or redwoods in california or anything God made that you enjoy together, its easy to say how great God is to bless us with these. There are ways to talk about God that arent lecturing. Make a family prayer time each night, talk to them without lecturing. By all means listen to them, I cant stress this enough. Dont get me wrong, mine is not perfect but shes never surrounded herself with unsaved friends, she constantly knows that anyone like that we are only to witness to, but to fellowship with others in Christ means exactly that...In Christ, others saved!

Edited May 6, 2008 by lakefrontgirlmi

[Abigailwc]

There is a big difference between training and pointing. I agree with the OP, that many parents just send their kids to Sunday School and Bible study. The way you coach/lead is by example, it takes hands on love and guidance. Kids look to their parents for direction and support. If "religion" is all they see, then they can't know what a relationship with God is. It is our responsibility. One that God will hold us accountable to.

I agree.

The way we live is extremely important for our kids. We are to be an example of how we want them to be.

Most kids are a reflection of their parents' true behavior. It's amazing.