Belle8327

Thanks Billiards for the reply. I have been doing that along with praying some protective prayers...which has really helped out. I read my Bible daily and also play Christian music in the house. Finally got some good sleep last night..praying it continues. Thank you so much!

Hey everyone, So I wasn't going to post about this but I definitely need some insight as my health is declining. The Sunday before last I was baptised with my daughter at a new Church that we was attending. In order to become a member you need to be Baptised there. It was a really great day that day and then the nightmare started...The enemy has constantly been putting fear and anxiety in my head and has showed up in my dreams about 3 times and wakes me up at night with more fear...like he is talking to me. I have prayed and prayed and it won't go away. I have also had some things happen at the house here ever since I have moved in. 7 years ago now. My kids have all heard and saw things and now it's like as soon as I got Baptised it's coming after me now. I did have one sleep paralysis moment a couple of years ago but it's nothing like this. Whatever this is...it follows me everywhere I go. Feels like it's taking over my thoughts and I can't sleep or eat at all. Has anyone ever experienced this? I am freaking out and it's making me crazy to where I can't work, eat or sleep. I feel like maybe I did the wrong thing in getting Baptised cause maybe if I wouldn't have then this wouldn't have happened? I feel like I am doomed. Please help me if you can or even say a prayer for me. I have been saying spiritual warefare prayers and it does help but I am literally wasting away and I can't eat anything without feeling sick. Thank you in advance for you help! Belle

Praying!

Hi Joy and Love Praying for you and your mother to have a better relationship. Just be thankful that you still have your mother and that God allowed you to grow up with one. My nieces have had no mother or father since they were 5 and 3 years old as they passed away. So they will never know their parents, however God allowed you to be able to grow up with your parents so please be thankful that you have your mom. I do not even have my mother anymore and even though I was treated as her 2nd best I still loved her unconditionally and it has made me a stronger and more independent woman because of it. God has a plan for all of our lives you just have to be patient and let His will be done. I also suffer with social anxiety. I normally don't leave my house unless I have to...but if I didn't have God to talk to about this I would be a very lonely woman. I love God with all my heart and will be patient with him to be able to help me get back to my old self to where I can socialize again. Please be patient with the Lord and read your Bible and pray and believe what you are praying and you will see God working in you. God Bless you Belle

Praying for you DuggarFan...I have been going through something similar and I understand your frustration. God Bless you Belle

Thank you for your advice Advancing! God Bless you! Belle

I have had dreams about Jesus also...love those dreams!

Hello I would say the same as everyone else. If you feel that the Lord is putting it on your heart to sell it then I would sell it. I had the same problems as I thought tv was taking over my life. So I got rid of the direct tv...we still have the tv, but when we watch something it is normally movies. I have no cable at all. So it really keeps us from just sitting in front of the television. But it's still there also in case a great movie comes out and it can be rented and brought back. God Bless Belle

Praying for you all!

Hi again Belle, I just responded to you on another thread and will add this to my payers for you. There is great reason for the body of believers here to pray for you. I would just encourage you that you should not feel alone in your struggle for if you are abiding in Christ then be assured He is in your struggles. I am glad these forum Christians are praying for you, that is the bond of Christian love for one another, but you should also confide with others in your church because that physical community of saints can and should help you and be a source of collective strength to you. With drugs you certainly are right not to enable their disease and their poor life choices. Sin's power is to enslave us towards ungodly things and I have seen first hand, with respect to drugs and alcohol, things I believed people would never do. It is the ruin of sin on steroids, that will continue to corrupt the beautiful mind, heart and soul that God initially created. The devil comes to steal and destroy but remember Christ has overcome all enemies and frustrated the will of the evil one and so you too, through faith in Christ, shall be able to overcome all evil adversity launched against you. John 10:10 “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. Isaiah 54:17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the LORD. Again sister rely on the Lord for every decision, protecting your family as a mother, and being faithful and true to look to Him and His Word in following the right path for you and your children. There is still hope God could turn it all around so I would encourage you to wait on the Lord. May God Bless you, Pat Thank you again for all of your kind thoughts and words. It is really appreciated! Especially all the prayers. Thank you so much! God Bless Belle

Thank you! God Bless! Belle

Hi OneLight I do have several Christian friends that have been helping me for the last 2 years. They have got me through the hard times, and all but I wanted to reach out and make other Christian friends that can help me through this as well. Most of my Christian friends are also friends with my husband and they don't like to be in the middle of things but they all see where I coming from and what I have been through. They have been with me though through all my bad times, however I know that they get tired of having to hear me constantly go on about my husband and I can understand. It's nice to have this website here to be able to get good advice and have a support system. God Bless Belle I offered this suggestion without reading the whole thread, so I am not sure if what you said had been offered up before. I am glad you have those around who support you. That makes me feel a lot better knowing this. I am not suggesting that you do not seek advice from your brothers and sisters here There are many here who will be more then willing to offer a hand. One of my concerns is that it may be best for you to find one or two females to talk with. We males can offer support and scripture, while another female will understand the deeper feelings you are going through pertaining to your marriage. Thank you for your kind thoughts. I have several female friends who I do speak with often and I have also found some female friends on here as well that have been going through the same thing as I am. It kind of helps to have someone that knows exactly what you are going through. My friends luckily do not have the same problems in their life that I am facing so it is hard for them to relate. So I am indeed glad that I have found this site and am looking forward to making more friends here. It is nice to be able to talk to someone who has been through the same things that you are going through. I think God brought me to this site for a reason as he knows all of the pain that I have been going through. Thank you for reaching out and caring as you have. God Bless! Belle

Hi Miss Thank you for your response. You are right about that. He won't quit until he is ready. I am just going to continue to pray like I have been for the last 2 years. Thank you and God Bless you! Belle

Hi there dear Kwik It brought tears to my eyes to know what you had to go through. My husband has never hit me luckily and I won't ever let it get to that point. He came over one night and got into another rage and smacked his phone down over my bed post and it was smashed. I called the police to have him escorted out because he wouldn't leave and he kept yelling and calling me horrible names in front of our children and they were crying and upset. I even asked him to calm down so we could go in the bedroom and discuss this like adults and he said no the children need to be in the middle of this. It was horrible and I felt so bad for having to call the cops to my house. It's just so embarrassing. But I had to do it because he wouldn't leave and I was afraid of what else he might do. I will continue to pray for him...but he will not be welcome to my house until he can get his drug addiction and his anger under control. Thank you for sharing your story with me. I know that having to relive something like that must be horrible and for you to share your story with me means a lot. Thank you! I am glad to know that you are no longer in that relationship. God Bless you! Belle

Hi OneLight I do have several Christian friends that have been helping me for the last 2 years. They have got me through the hard times, and all but I wanted to reach out and make other Christian friends that can help me through this as well. Most of my Christian friends are also friends with my husband and they don't like to be in the middle of things but they all see where I coming from and what I have been through. They have been with me though through all my bad times, however I know that they get tired of having to hear me constantly go on about my husband and I can understand. It's nice to have this website here to be able to get good advice and have a support system. God Bless Belle

Hello WRG Thank you for your kind reponse. You are right...I worry way to much about everything and instead I need to hand this all over to God. I will continue to pray for my husband though and will never stop. I believe he needs all the prayers and I am sure that God is right there listening. Thank you and God Bless you

Hi inChrist Thank you for response. I am unsure if it was crystal meth or not but he def needs help. All I can do is pray for him. I have tried telling his mom and she doesn't believe me and now she won't talk to me and she hasn't for quite some time because she believes that her son would never do something like that. God Bless Belle

Thank you 19Duggarfan! You are so kind. I am so happy to have found this site as I have been looking for guidance on what I should be doing. I have felt as though I am doing it all wrong and then sometimes I feel right where I should be and then there are times where i get down again and think that God would not want me to exclude my husband from living with us. Thank you for clarifiying the above for me. I really think I am right where God wants me to be for the time being. I just hope and pray that Justin will put his family first and get help. I know that with people that have addictions though that it is hard to let it go. I just pray that he can so that we can be a family again one day. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. God Bless you! Belle

Thank you all for you kind words of encouragment and welcomes. I am so glad to have found a great website that has such a great support system as this one. I have been going through a lot and I use to talk to my mom about everything and she passed away. My dad is still there but he isn't like my mom was where I could just talk and talk..my dad gets on the bored side. haha So thank you all for all of your replies! It means a lot to have other's there willing to listen and help out as they know how. I really didn't have time to tell my full story as I was at work and on my lunch break when I found this site. This all started about 2 years ago when I found him in the garage with a spoon and lighter. I still today am not 100% sure what was in there but he said it was pain pills but he was using it to shoot up in a needle. That was when all my trust was gone. It was horrible to see such a tight knit family pull away like a button on a shirt. So ever since then we have really went down hill. I have 2 step children who I barely see now as their mom moved them away to Columbia with her new husband, my husband and I have 2 small children together and I have a child from a previous marraige as well. So all together we had 5 children. After my husband started doing drugs we lost our house, he lost his job as a Chiropractor and didn't work for about a year. He finally does have a job but it's not nowhere what he was making as a Chiropractor. Nevertheless I am very happy that he does have a job. After we lost our house we moved into a duplex and Justin had went to rehab for a month and he came back and said he was all better and moved in with us at the duplex. Things was great until I found another needle and then another and he got into a rage and punched a whole in the wall at the duplex because I didn't believe him about the needles being old like he would always say. So he ended up moving his stuff out of the duplex and into his mom's house. He has now lived with her for a year and half and he has constantly been asking to move back in here. I will not let him however because even some of the nights that we have stayed together I have either found him talking to his friends that do drugs that he said he was no longer talking to or I would find needles and he would say they are old. I have went through this for a very long time now. I have lost a lot of people in my life including my sister and the stress is weighing me down. Now my gram is in the hospital as well. I have developed social anxiety as well over the last year and it's hard for me to even leave my house as I get anxiety so bad. I know this has to do with all of the stress that I have been under. I am not trying to say that I am a perfect Christian by any means though. I have had my down falls and have really messed up along the way as well, not in the drug dept but I have asked God for forgiveness and have turned my life around. I have told Justin to go to teen challenge but there is always an excuse. He wonders why I can't trust him and it's because I keep finding things for me to not be able to. It takes only a few seconds for trust to be broken but a lifetime to regain it. Sorry that this is so long but I wanted to tell my story in it's entirity (if I spelled that right). I love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and I know that he will be with me through this all which is why I will continue praising him through all of these storms in my life. Thank you all for reading! Any and all comments are welcome. I'm certainly not qualified to speak for Jesus, but I can tell you what I think he would do..... I think he would take care of the children, for they really can't care for themselves in this world today...... and I certainly would not want DHS taking care of them. your husband is going to have to make decisions and you should not make it easier for him to continue doing drugs.

I am a soon to 33 year old woman that is currently seperated from my spouse. He started off lieing to me about doing drugs and I ended up finding several different things in my house. I had to choose between my kids and my husband at that time as he was on drugs and I his ex wife had been calling dfs on him. The officer told me that if drugs were found in my house that I would lose my children. I ended up moving into a house by myself with me and my children. We have now been seperated for 2 years but I still love him very much and we still spend time together every now and then. He still hangs out with the people that does drugs though. I am at my end of the rope. I have prayed non stop for something to happen to where we can have our family back together again. I am however scared that he is still using and I just can't let him move back in only to do drugs and be in the same situation I was in before. Please someone tell me what Jesus would do in these circumstances. I am at a loss here. I read my Bible constantly but I am still searching for an answer to this question. Any Christian advice would be greatly appreciated.