UPDATED: I have been trying to research. And I have been praying for clarity. And maybe it will just take time for me to understand what I need to understand.
When I became a Christian again after a very long hiatus. Like over 25 years! I learned more about the 7 gifts. (I had a pentecostal friend that told me of them in passing before I rededicated). Anyhow, I never asked for any in great depth, but said in passing in prayer I really would love to heal people for him.
I never pushed though, because quite frankly, I didn't want God to give me something I wasn't prepared for instead of what I asked. HA!
But last night while I was praying I was telling him whatever his will was regarding a situation I would understand. Well, in the middle of the night I was woken up, and I was very awake. Very aware I was awake, and worried I would miss my appointment at hospital in morning if I couldn't get back to sleep, type of awake.
Well I had a vision! *sigh* It was extremely intense. And I realized he was showing me something really important. ( not sure I should go into it unless I understand things first. Unless I should for helps sake?) Cross that bridge later in this?
But now I am trying to discern and pray for a little bit of understanding. And Test the spirits comes to mind. But when I was calling out heavenly Father the vision over and over, it did not go away. (Even when I walked away I still called out his name in fear of spiritual things and whatever was tormenting me so to speak, it would go away immediately. Not during this vision. So, I am thinking it definitely from the Heavenly Father.
It was about spiritual warfare that I know. I'm not sure if about me (I'm leaning toward no) or it about things coming and glimpse of what's really going on in (war in heaven) coming here. It seemed metaphorical in some parts and literal in others parts. I am so confused. For those that have this gift... What can you advise? How do you know to interpret? How do you test the spirits? I mean technically this could be the enemy coming to confuse me.
I could not shake the feeling it gave me all day. And I realized if indeed this was his plan all along all those years ago... And that is my gift I will take it. And I realized I don't mind. (not that I'd really have a choice if i said I'd follow his will not mine). I find it odd timing.
Also please understand this.. When I pray and pour my heart out.. I do it in my head. My eyes are closed. The reason I do this is because I am very aware how the enemy works and if he hears me, or sees my actions or emotions, he knows how to try to prevent me easily knowing how to mess with me.
So now.. this gift. Or is it? When do I know to share them? How do I know it really is a gift and not deception from other end? Just how exactly do I "test" the spirits? When do I share these things I'm shown? I started a blog a bit ago, so I can help other people understand the much deeper picture. And I thought also.. great timing... I put it off awhile and then I realized I was pushed to do it. So I guess this "gift" if real will be shared there as well, if and when I get to understand better if indeed real gift.
Am I allowed to ask for other gifts???? I really still want to heal people. Including a healing over here would be great. lol Hard to do as much as I need and want when barely functioning.
OK Thanks in advance for any input! :-)
A little history:
When I was a very young I was very sick. In hospital a lot since a baby. But around 3 I started to see things and for some reason I calmed down when I saw something in my room in corner just standing there. I knew it was there to protect me, yet it still made me a little fearful. I had other experiences. But I was not born to Chrsitian family, so had no clue. They didn't go to church until I was older. I became a christian when I was early teens.
After I left home I had visions off and on. And were never wrong. Even though I wasn't Christian anymore, I still "believed" somewhat and had in back of my head. But I ended up praying and asking he take this away from me. (I never actually knew about Christian prophecy per say, and thought it was only in bible times. ) And I walked away so that would not have done anything for me or him. The ability to see was taken away as I asked.
I was relieved!