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Figure of eighty

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Everything posted by Figure of eighty

  1. I've heard God's voice clearest when I'm in church.
  2. It's so funny when I was at church last Sunday well before this one a lady that prayed for me told me to read Psalms as well so I guess I will.
  3. So I know I definitely need to get right with God. I just feel busy and overwhelmed with work and kids but after dealing with my mental issue I definitely feel I need to dig a bit deeper. I wanted to just pray and wait on God to tell me what to read. Is that OK? I really want it to apply to my life and what I'm going through now instead of just reading just anything. You know?
  4. It depends. If I can still have him then yes but I feel bc I wasn't ready I may have messed things up.
  5. I realize I don't have alot of holy spirit conviction in my life. How do I gain that?
  6. Thank you got the background info on her.
  7. I see people reference Corrie alot. Who is she? That story was very nice to read. Thank you. Also what does that mean turn it into his love.
  8. I dont speak of my kids bc they dont cause me distress. I just vent about the things that distress me. My kids are healthy, happy and well.. still I just don't know how to trust God. I know blaming is bad but if I'm trying and doing the best I can and need a little extra help from God and help doesn't come it just creates that cycle of distrust. What keeps you from not blaming God? I'm genuinely wondering bc I do have an issue with this only bc God is capable. If he couldn't do everything then I would understand.
  9. Some people trust God easily after setbacks. I'm going through alot from possible eviction,health issues and a break up. My heart is so thoroughly broken. Why would God bring someone who is everything I wanted but knows I'm not ready. I'd rather God wait yrs to bring the guy instead of show me and it's not time. I feel heartbroken and upset about everything. I'm anxious..and nervous.
  10. I've been saved for as long as I can remember. I have a few experiences with God but I feel I'm missing God's conviction in my life. I feel I'm one of those Christians that are asleep. I also feel I have too many responsibilities to pursue God and while listening to a podcast.. for women that were on fire for God and talking about discipleship.. I felt in my heart I wasn't ready.... like I'm okay with giving God some pieces of my life but not everything. I Also feel God is far off but I know he's not. I feel bored reading the Bible. Praying is easier for me.. The best way I can describe this is I'm a battery thats close to being dead that needs to be recharged but I also don't want to do this lol.. I'm just being honest. I definitely need a new heart. Advice please.
  11. Yeah. I have anxiety I'm always afraid of breaks in and stuff. I have tried therapy.. I feel the therapist wasn't much help she made me look within for answers instead of giving helpful suggestions. I may try therapy again and like someone said, melatonin to put me to sleep lol.
  12. I feel I got what I prayed for. A place of my own for my kids and I but ... my anxiety always spikes at night. Idk what to do. I can't sleep.
  13. Yes. God is awesome. I'm thankful for his foresight and provision.
  14. Hello all, it's been a minute since I've checked in bit after what I'm about to tell I had to tell someone about this because God is truly truly good. Okay, so at work everything was fine atleast in the beginning. There was a set of women I was cordial with but eventually everyone's true colors would show. So at my job there's a production to meet and I'm not the fastest person. ( I'm going to give little names for the people I worked with. A, B, C, T and Anny) One day me and A were left together to work and one box I had had alot of pieces I had to scan up to 1600.( I did a few more but not as much as her bc my box had more volume whereas hers didnt..maybe 300 pieces ) A complained they did more boxes. So T is close to A and A told T how she complained to rhe supervisors about me and how slow I was and why they left her with me bc I'm slow and management responded that they'd get rid of me as soon as another employee got brought on board. ( I also wasnt the only person A would say was slow. )One day when it was just me and T she told me everything bc she knew I was a mom and said if I'm not looking for another job now is the time.. So I appreciated the heads up so much. Fast fwd..management is tightening their belt and firing people left and right and I saw the employee they brought on and my heart kinda fell bc I was nervous of being let go. Along with noticing how barren the work place was.. I noticed.. A wasn't here. That person missed 2 days in a row. And I asked T and she asked around what happened to A from a supervisor ...and they said.. They fired them. When T told me that I was so astonished. Now someone losing their job is never a good thing but it'd thr simple fact that person was digging a ditch for me and fell in their self. And I had no idea A was trying to fire me. I'm so grateful to God and thanked him many times.
  15. Hello. So I'm back again and I want to thank you guys for keeping me in your prayers about my previous situation. Now I feel I have another thing to deal with now. I've been struggling with my mental health. Some days are okay and others like today have me really on edge. Sometimes I feel it's a bit normal as I'm a single mom of 2 toddlers and I'm going through a break up with my BD but it's really triggering deep insecurities. I'm doing therapy but it's once a week and I feel perhaps I need medication bc I feel very alone with my kids and them being needy and demanding...then dealing with the break up and all of these dark and heavy thoughts. It feels overwhelming. I wish I could force myself to be normal but I can't. I know God wants us to include him in everything so how do I do that while I treat myself as well? Also how do I get over the fear of meds? I'm afraid I won't be myself or ill gain alot of weight..
  16. I wanted you post an update. I was able to move. I'm now in a townhome with my kids. I'm so grateful.. I'm so thankful. I thanked God. I'm still struggling with anxiety as it's just me and my kids and it's alot.. so if you could please keep me in your prayers. But the load is a bit lighter.
  17. I didn't see the top portion of your thread so I will reply. I agree some of what I'm going through are consequences of my own actions but there are people have made my same choices and worse having more kids than I but are still able to achieve and aren't railroaded and the main difference is the fact that they have support where as I don't. I don't think my parents treating me poorly is a consequence of having kids when some other single parents don't endure the same. It's just a reflection of my parents. If that's the case then all single parents would struggle and we all don't the major factor that decides that is support. I think consequences of single parenthood is the lack of sleep and sacrifices but being treated like garbage definitely isn't one. Neither is losing everything back to back from your job,car and everything else. I know a single mom that has a good ,job, home and car ect... so if it was a consequence of being a single parent then every single parent would be destitute but that's not the case. Also like I was saying. I am trying.. it would be different if I weren't then I'd understand why my situation is the way it is. It seems the harder I try to find my way out the more blocked off I am. You are right I have been super critical of God bc I was just trying to take care of my family ( my kids) so I don't know why everything was taken from me. I also kind of forgot about the trials well face in our lives as I got caught up aith day to day life and just got really frustrated nothing was working. Now that I was forced to stop I'm more introspective and trying to incorporate God in my life. I'm gonna try and make the prayer line conversation a daily or weekly thing.. Bc I can't even go to church and it was nice to talk to someone that's also a believer.
  18. Thank you. I'm glad someone understands what I'm going through. What did God say when he finally did speak? Thanks for saying he doesn't despise me. I got off the phone from a prayer line and the lady I prayed with helped. She helped me not to feel crazy.
  19. Yeah your are right. I'm trying to pray more said a prayer today. Gonna look for a prayer line.
  20. This is very true. After alot of time thinking and being in this situation I truly feel maybe there is something to be learned in this situation. I just don't know what just praying for spiritual guidance and not to lose it mentally all in the process.
  21. I just don't see anything being done. I lost my job, daycare for the kids, I have no car. I really don't see anything working out.
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