FreDdy08

Bitter roots of fear are hollow and empty yet strong as a triple braided cord.  Corrosion came into this world and anchored me down to the failures and addictions of my quickly absolved life consultants. As far back as I can remember I’ve been tormented by the lonely promises of hopeful lies.  Unwanted and abandoned to “the system” at just three months old-rejected and abused until I was big enough to fight back-and even though sublimely predisposed to destined failure-my faith has always said that I am a part of a bigger plan. 
Tragedy has a funny way of taking a boys heart captive and wringing out the euphoric hope of perfect love. As a young man, I grew up without parental guidance and easily fell prey to the luster and excitement offered to the worlds select.  I literally crashed and burned-death and deception became my masters.  It was as if the entire Rocky Mountain chain from north to south-east to west was filed vertically upon my young shoulders-set to balance-then violently shaken and twisted-how does fear overcome perfect love.
Choosing to live and die in a lie was the chaos that I loved to hate.  My addictions became abundant-countless failures beguiled my badgered and eventually depleted countenance as I plead for substance in the midst of a hopeless swamp of starvation.  Nothing seemed to ignite a hunger for truth in my calloused heart filled with confused thoughts of better days.  I smoked my family; I burned my home, and felt nothing but fear and remorse-self-pity and doom.
Twenty years-I lived a selfish existence and lost everything that I ever wanted to have in life.  I lost hope in all of my dreams because I failed to maintain their structure.  I let the lusts and pleasures of living for the ‘right here-right now’-take control of my every attitude and action.  There was no stopping my super stupid self-I was Clark Kent, serving myself a thick juicy kryptonite sandwich smothered with lies and nothing to wash it down with except morbid self induced insanity.  Eat it up, Sandman!
My life had become a sick joke that isn’t at all that funny to the ass end of its humor.  Death stalked my every notion to excel beyond wastefulness and when the end of my existence had been breached for what seemed to be the last time-society deemed me unfit for public display and placed me on time out for two and one half years.  Strange as this may seem, I saw it as the break that I had been praying for-and I realized-this time is… it-LAST CHANCE KID-That’s what it is!
Perfect love conquers fear so easily and can readily equip its wielder with the uncanny ability to become reconciled to even the most dissolved and disassembled of relationships.  I live through my measured faith in a hope for perfect love that overcomes all of my past hurts and hang-ups.  Determined, honest efforts to become the man I am destined to be are now integrated into my psyche and to my amazement-it is being developed and refined steadily and rapidly.
I am not yet the man that I was created to be.  As a father, I work diligently to become the man of integrity and honor that my children deserve.  I consider my future wife’s spiritual, emotional and physical needs before my own. This new life is an opportunity to become the “great leader” as defined in my maternally given title-Frederick.  I am striving to share this perfect love that conquers fear with everyone who is living in the fog of lies manifested by the prince of the air.  I have made up my heart to make proud the few souls who cared enough to maintain their loyalty to my well being; failure is not an option.
You might knock me down or fool me into tripping myself but I refuse to wallow in the mire like a filthy swine.  There’s no back up in me-I refuse to run-giving up is not an option-Perfect love conquers fear.  I’ve not just survived-“Thank God I am truly alive!”  I am determined to overcome the simple life obstacles that used to cowardly confine me inside of my false selfish pride.Not everyone may be ready for me to stand out so I will consider each individual carefully and imagine the best possible outcome for that situation-succuess will be much more obtainable that way.