darkest_red

Yes! I hate "repost this" style statuses too. And the "I answered a question about you" things mizzdy mentioned, they are incredibly annoying too! And the farmville etc things people always post on my wall! That said, I do like Facebook as a way to keep in touch with people I went to school with and family/friends I don't live near. I only add people I do know though, and I always refuse requests from random people.

No, I'm in the same place. Still not sure what to do I have a feeling my flatmate might be planning on moving elsewhere anyway, though I can't be sure and he hasn't said anything directly. If he does, that will force my hand though. In conclusion...really not sure what is happening and still unhappy about it all!

If you are having doubts about the relationship, maybe marriage is not the best option right now anyway.

I know you weren't pointing fingers, no need to worry about that! I do have place in my heart for children.......................................as long as they are asleep and/or not within 50 feet of me!

I don't like children. Is it normal? Maybe not. But it is natural. Nothing in my past has made me reach this conclusion, the only thing that has made me dislike children is the fact that I find them annoying and just don't have the patience to deal with them. My brother and his family stayed with my parents over Christmas and they have a 2 young children (I think they are 4 and 6 or something, though I could be wrong) and a baby, who at the time was 6 months old. The baby is theirs, the other two they are legal guardians for. They were only around for a couple of days before they had to leave, but the two children drove me absolutely crazy. I had to keep leaving the room. My nephew....well, even I'm not that heartless, he is pretty darn adorable My flatmate has two nieces, one is 13 (or around that, maybe a bit younger) and the other is 6 (ish). The 13 year old I don't mind so much, the 6 year old...well, she's like a hurricane. She comes in the room, leaves a few minutes later and everything is a mess! I'm sure a lot of people find her adorable but I don't like spending too much time around children. Now, maybe it's just because they aren't related to me, but I honestly can't see me wanting to spend all that much around even my nephew when he is a toddler because, frankly, I don't like toddlers. So maybe that makes me a freak or something, but I don't care. It's just the way I am. Maybe one day I will meet a good (Christian) guy and get married and maybe at that point, I will change my mind about children. But for now, I don't like children, I don't want children and I am not going to apologise for that. Hee hee... this kinda cracked me up. I could have written this post 15 years ago... word for word almost to the T including the 2 children from my brothers wife's first relationship & my niece ROFL!!! Here's the deal though, when you have your kids its different. I expected to immediately go back to work. (still havent) For starters the behavior that you didnt like in other kids, well, we are models for our kids. if we are clean and model good habits they follow suit. My 6 year old joys cleaning his room. We play hoarders where we have throw away keep & donate... Anyway there's no way I can tell you how it is, just dont write off having kids cause others dont know how to raise em cause I'm pretty sure you'll do just fine. YOU CHILD HATER... hee hee... of course I'm kidding. Maybe you'll change your mind, maybe not... its all good... (they'll put slime on the windows of your car of blue.) Well...if I DID have children, I don't think I'd want to go straight back to work. Maybe that's because I hate my job, or maybe it's just because my mum didn't work when I was a child and I do think it's good to have a parent around. Either way. I see what you're saying about being models for your kids, but I don't think that's necessarily the problem all the time. Even the most well behaved children tend to annoy me to some degree. As for writing off having kids because of how others have raised them...truth be told, I think I'd be a terrible mother anyway! If I do ever have children...they're walking everywhere because there's not a chance I'm having them messing up my car!

I don't like children. Is it normal? Maybe not. But it is natural. Nothing in my past has made me reach this conclusion, the only thing that has made me dislike children is the fact that I find them annoying and just don't have the patience to deal with them. My brother and his family stayed with my parents over Christmas and they have a 2 young children (I think they are 4 and 6 or something, though I could be wrong) and a baby, who at the time was 6 months old. The baby is theirs, the other two they are legal guardians for. They were only around for a couple of days before they had to leave, but the two children drove me absolutely crazy. I had to keep leaving the room. My nephew....well, even I'm not that heartless, he is pretty darn adorable My flatmate has two nieces, one is 13 (or around that, maybe a bit younger) and the other is 6 (ish). The 13 year old I don't mind so much, the 6 year old...well, she's like a hurricane. She comes in the room, leaves a few minutes later and everything is a mess! I'm sure a lot of people find her adorable but I don't like spending too much time around children. Now, maybe it's just because they aren't related to me, but I honestly can't see me wanting to spend all that much around even my nephew when he is a toddler because, frankly, I don't like toddlers. So maybe that makes me a freak or something, but I don't care. It's just the way I am. Maybe one day I will meet a good (Christian) guy and get married and maybe at that point, I will change my mind about children. But for now, I don't like children, I don't want children and I am not going to apologise for that.

That's cool, being so close to public transport. If I'd known how things were going to work out, I probably would have looked for somewhere closer to work so I didn't have to worry about public transport, as it is atrocious over here! That said, I'd still rather take the bus to work than drive as petrol prices are horrendous and I'd also have to pay for parking. Even if I was closer though, I still think I'd be lost without a car as it's so much easier not to have to rely on public transport, especially for longer journeys. I think our reactions are very similar! And I totally agree about them waiting to pounce, I'm sure of the same! And regardless of who is around, I'm never brave enough to get near them! I stopped using my laundry basket for months because I was worried one day I'd open it and find a spider in there! I just ended up piling clothes on top until I had enough for a load. Tragic, really! Definitely not! Thank you Still not at all certain what I should be doing currently but praying the answer will come to me. As for the bugs...you are very brave! I have no such motivation so sadly I will more than likely stick to my massive over-reactions! The red ants...that sounds horrible! I think I would have reacted in a very similar fashion!

I would be exactly the same! I have to check my shoes etc before I put them on, just in case. Any bits of fluff or anything on the carpet always look like spiders to me! The first thing I do when I enter a room is look around for spiders, especially my bedroom and the bathroom. I haven't been able to use the lamp in my living room for the last two days because there is a spider dangling just in front of it.... And I do scream, but there's no one around to hear it!

They may be harmless but that doesn't them freaking me out! Besides, we get flies in summer too! And beetles, and ladybirds and moths and.... Yes...but sadly, it's not just the spiders and the flies that bother me! it is blue Grrrrr.... thought I read somewhere that said it was red..... ya are always catching me out lpt..... good lpt keep me on my tootsies.... LPT is right, it is blue! Are you confusing me with my car?! Thank you very much for the thoughts and prayers, I really do appreciate them. Things are getting back to normal work-wise, so I think it's only a matter of time before I return to my previous state, which will mean prayers will definitely be needed! As for the spiders...currently I just freeze with my eyes widened in horror, and then wait until they have disappeared and spend the rest of the evening paranoid about where they may have got too! Not entirely sure I want to spend the summer in that state... Oooohhhh a very pretty car....and soooooo maybe me did confuse it with your name.... seems we have the same reaction to spiders except I scream loud and long for help if someone else is in the house. Yesterday my sis was home and I just happened to glance at the ceiling and saw this big black spot. I screamed for her and she came a runnig. I told her there was a humungous spider and my ceiling so she came to the rescue. Turns out it was a moth..... I didn't have my glasses on.... She laughed and chased the moth off. I was totally embarrased. I told her well it could have been a spider.... So sister to sister I understand your plight. Be blessed and I pray the Lord will give you a home free of spiders.... He's even prettier now...they put a ceramic coat on and he's extra shiny! The colour is a lot nicer in real life too, photos don't do it justice! I would look for someone else to rescue me from the spiders but 99% of the time I'm in the flat by myself! And I probably would have reacted the same way if I thought it was a spider too! If I see a spider I spend the rest of the evening thinking that pretty much anything I see out of the corner of my eye is another spider!

and God BLESS those who are wise enough, honest enough, to not bring a child into this world that they know they won't love. what is selfish is to insist on having children for the sake of some 'duty' and not out of genuine love and desire to raise a child. what is selfish is to bring a child in this world knowing full well before hand that you haven't got the patience to love that child and give it the nurturing he/she deserves. what is selfish and incredibly un-Christ-like is to impose one's own feelings of nurture onto those who don't have those feelings... how selfish is it to demand that others have children just because YOU believe it is the right thing to do, despite the fact that it is certainly NOT in the best interest of the children that will be born to an unloving parent. and for the record, the "you" i'm referring to is just a general term, not directed at anyone in particular, but at everyone who calls those who don't want children "selfish". I completely agree.

it is blue Grrrrr.... thought I read somewhere that said it was red..... ya are always catching me out lpt..... good lpt keep me on my tootsies.... LPT is right, it is blue! Are you confusing me with my car?! Thank you very much for the thoughts and prayers, I really do appreciate them. Things are getting back to normal work-wise, so I think it's only a matter of time before I return to my previous state, which will mean prayers will definitely be needed! As for the spiders...currently I just freeze with my eyes widened in horror, and then wait until they have disappeared and spend the rest of the evening paranoid about where they may have got too! Not entirely sure I want to spend the summer in that state...

I've been so busy working over-time I haven't had much of a chance to think about it lately! I did realise on Saturday night that I should probably find somewhere else, although that was mainly to do with the spiders in the flat - I'm not usually girlie but when it comes to spiders/wasps/other insects, I am a complete girl! - and now that I'm pretty much living by myself, I really don't want to spend all summer frozen to the spot because there is a spider in the same room as me! Not the most sensible of reasons, I realise, but the other reasons still apply too. The over-time has actually been very much a blessing as it meant I have been so distracted, I haven't thought about any of this really. Back to normal very soon though, so no doubt it will be playing heavily on my mind again soon. And yes, extremely blessed with the car!

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with deciding not to have children. I am not a fan of children at all - frankly, they just irritate me, and I certainly do not want children. That said, if I meet the right guy - if - then perhaps that will change, but for now, I can't see myself ever choosing to have children. As other people have mentioned though, if God wants you to have children, it will happen. I am living proof of that as not only was I not planned, but my mum didn't even know she was pregnant with me until she had a threatened miscarriage! If it is part of God's plan, there is no getting around it. God doesn't make mistakes.

Thank you! And that is a great analogy! I wish I could have transported you to my prayer meeting tonight. Something came up today that brought me emotional pain, and I couldn't shake it. During the worship time, the leaders sang the song "How He Loves Us" by John Mark McMillan. (If you don't know the song, you should look it up.) I recalled that he wrote the song while in severe pain (specifically dealing with the recent death of a friend, but composing this song while in pain nonetheless). Going through pain myself, I was able to relate to the song in that way, and I just burst into tears (cleansing tears). If I could say anything to you right now, it's this. Find a way to just rest in Him. I know it's hard when you are wanting something from Him. But just try to rest in Him. Prayers for the help that is needed for you to do this. Thanks Neb. I will check out the song tomorrow. And the prayers are very much appreciated

Thank you. Still trying to patient, but did NOT have a good day today. Feeling more lost than ever and praying and praying and praying and...

Thanks all I haven't been ignoring you, just had some computer issues! Thank you all very much for your prayers, very much appreciated. I am trying to just put my faith in God and trust that He will open a way for me but right now, I don't think I'm being all that successful. I just can't shake the feeling of hopelessness and still feel utterly lost.

Bit of an update... Charlie and Stef had a look at a bungalow, which they both quite liked but the deposit was ridiculously so we're not going for it. Charlie has to move out of her flat at the end of March, the plan is for her to move back in with her parents for now until we find somewhere (or until she finds somewhere). So, for now at least, I am staying put. However, I've been thinking a LOT over the last few weeks and I'm not entirely sure that I want to keep living with my flatmate. It is a bit complicated (and would take a bit of explaining) but lately I'm just not sure it is the best thing to do. My options are kind of limited though, and I'm not sure what is the best thing to do so over-all, I'm feeling...completely lost. I've been praying (and praying and praying) for guidance but so far...nothing. I don't know what to do.

Thank you!

I think him moving depends on my moving. She is looking at room shares too, in case we don't find anywhere, but I think she would prefer to live with people she knows (which I completely understand). I couldn't afford to live by myself, so if he was going to move, I would have to move with them anyway. There are a few other complications (which add to the reasons I don't really want to move) but I really don't know what to do for the best.

No. They're the ones who are making the decision to move.........right? You have no reason to feel selfish. Could you possibly get another flatmate? Since they both have cars, would it possible to talk to them about you paying a smaller portion of the rent until you are able to get a car for yourself? Well....I was never all that keen on the idea of moving really, but I didn't mind so much when I DID have a car. And I do recognise that in some ways it is a good idea...the rent will be cheaper, for a start. I just really don't fancy the idea of spending every night stuck in doors. I could get another flatmate, I suppose, but I don't know anyone who is looking for a flat and I don't really want to live with someone I don't know. Nice idea about the rent, but I don't think they'd go for it. And I don't really think I'd feel right asking for it. I earn about the same as them, so I can't really make a fuss about paying the same for rent. Thank you, prayers very much appreciated. I did kind of mention it to my flatmate and he just said something about me not going out every night even when I did have a car, which is true, but it meant that I could go out if I wanted too, and I've been having more They are looking in the same area as we are now, just the places available are further away from the bus route. The main problem is time, I think, as Charlie has to be out of her flat when her contract ends. They've already had to dismiss certain areas they were originally going to look at because it would be too hard for me to get to work. As for compensation for the commute and inconvenience, the cost of getting to work won't change for me. It's more that I'll have to walk further to get to the bus stop, and that means getting up earlier....not so keen on that! I did mention that I really don't want to be without a car and I really don't want to be stuck in every night and my flatmate's reply was "But if you don't move, Charlie won't have anywhere to go." and I just ended up feeling guilty. I really am stressing out about this...I don't want to let anyone down but I don't want to spend the next however long unhappy. Thanks everyone for the prayers and opinions!

This is quite complicated so I'll try to give you a simplified version...hopefully it will make sense! My flatmate's sister, Charlie, has to move out of her flat (her flatmate told her towards the end of last year that she had bought a house and was moving out - she hadn't even told Charlie that she'd been looking - and she hasn't found anyone to replace her yet, and she can't afford to stay there by herself) and someone suggested that my flatmate and I could find somewhere with Charlie. I really like Charlie, so that wouldn't be a problem...except if I have to move out, I won't be able to afford to get a car. The area we are looking at moving to isn't too far away from where I am not, but it will be further away from a bus route - so I will have further to walk to get to the bus for work every morning, further to come back at night etc - and the buses are pretty terrible in the evenings, so I won't be able to do much in the evenings. My flatmate and Charlie both have partner's so they will not be around much in the evenings (and if they are around and want to watch a DVD or something, no doubt they will invite their partner's over and I really don't want to be hanging out with two couples!). They both have cars so they don't have to worry about such things. I don't want to have to move, not if I can't have a car. I have no desire to spend every night by myself and I don't want to give up the freedom and independence having a car provides. But if I don't move, I'll be letting down my flatmate and Charlie. Am I being selfish not wanting to move?

Been married 35 years and I STILL open doors for the fetching Mrs. Enniss. I buy her not only flowers and even pearls once in a while (now as she's dieting, she gets mad if I buy her chocolates!), but I take her out at least for a cup of coffee if not dinner almost every day because, as I tell her: "I want to show off my trophy wife!" I carry her purse when we are walking in the malls (well, right now the Doctors won't let me carry anything over 10 lbs, so I can only carry SOME of her purses.....), AND I DO MOST OF THE COOKING! Be a gentleman, and be honorable in your behavior toward any young lady you go out with, and you'll click with the right kind of gal to make a long and happy life with. And tell the bozo at that web site, I'd like to slap some sense into him. Wow. Just...wow. And totally agree about the "bozo" at that website! Though, I do confess, I would take chocolates over flowers any time! It's probably fairly telling that I can name my favourite chocolates almost instantly but ask me for a favourite flower and I will look at you blankly for a while before saying the first one that comes into my head (and my dad was a gardener for years...I'm sure he wouldn't be impressed). I would love to find a nice (Christian) guy who was still into all those romantic gestures...I treasure chivalry (niceness would appear to be a rare quality these days, being a jerk is much more popular), and those things really do make a girl feel special. That said, I would also do the same - or similar anyway, not sure he'd appreciate the flowers so much - for him!

You think you're dimwitted??? Back in the 80's, I actually thought Boy George was straight! I was in my 20's when I discovered that Stevie Nicks was not a man... My housemate grew up thinking Stevie Nicks was Lindsay Buckingham and vice versa....what a confusing band Fleetwood Mac were!

picante? tabasco? salsa? tomato? More like Daniels, Beam, and Cuervo. Ooooh good choices!

As part of a reward for displaying our company's values, a couple of my colleagues won a trip to the Moholoholo nature conserve in SA (....we were shown some of the photos today and oh my, Africa looks stunning! They all want to go back as soon as they can!