Growing up, I was forced to go to church every Sunday. I hated it. My father, who forced me to go, was (in my opinion) one of the biggest hypocrits. What's probably worse is I got nothing out of the church -- it didn't offer me guidance, it made no sense, really, in it's doctrine - which I totally did not understand. When I attended church on the last Sunday before I went away to college, my family and I were leaving after the service, and I excused myself to go back in and pray. I sat (alone) and prayed that God would always take care of me, show me "the way" to have a good life, bring me back to a church (even that one) if that's what was right, that He would show me His Love (that I had not previously found), and teach me about Him and His Son. I was (basically) saying "goodbye". (I cried too. That was a hard prayer... a little scary.) ... ( ... a lot scary!)
Make no mistake, I went through hell in my life. I'm no one to tell you it will be a bed of roses for your decision - but it hasn't been a bed of roses so far, has it? I still prayed when I thought about it or needed to. Mostly, I just tried to be a good person... I always tried to say "what would Jesus do in this situation" without reading something from the Bible [which no one understands completely] to get my answers. [i should clarify that growing up in that church, a few things did stick in my head -- passages (parts of) from the Bible -- principles -- most important, perhaps, "All things are possible".] In deciding what to do, I always tried to take the "upper road" - do what was best - that meant thinking of all the possibilities, the possible consequences ... so my brain was busy... Even when I made bad decisions, I learned from them.
I still thank God for all that I learned... The knowledge is priceless.
At some point, I felt I was being ushered into a realm of Truth - a lot of Rights and Wrongs [knowing what's right and wrong]. I could not have gotten that knowledge from submitting to one church's beliefs.
I suppose what will become clear(er) as I post on this board is that I oppose people clinging to one faith/religion as though that is the absolute. Get out and talk to people -- find out what their faiths/beliefs are -- it'll help you form some of your own. I believe in no one faith, but (instead) a combination of many. Again, I could not have gotten this knowledge (possibilities) from that one church.
This, maybe, helps you in no way. (I suggest you) say your prayers, be mindful of the Lord and God, and do your best at whatever you do.
I'm tired -- I guess I've exhausted both of us (maybe).
Don't worry about what Jesus or God will do/say SO LONG AS you try to be a good person. The Lord will be understanding, I trust.
Have Faith!!! (in yourself and good heart!!)
OneGenesis