Dear Kitty,
You are being so open with the people here on the board,
Have you told God what you're telling us, in prayer.. I suppose that's a
moot point now, as God already knows the intent of your heart. In
your prayer time, what about telling God how you're honestly feeling?
Do you expect rejection? You won't get it.. I've had to appologise
to God because I grew up in a family where Love was difficult and I'm
still unsure of it today. However Like you, I too realize that God
must love me..after all, He sent His son Jesus to die for me.. Me.. and
what did I do to deserve that? Nothing..which is difficult for me, as I
find it easier to give then recieve.. on top of that I find it amazing that
God would find me worthy enough to gift me with Salvation, but He did,
because of His Love for me.. what I've done has been to take my
thoughts that I've shared here to prayer and talked to God about it..
explaining that I felt that I lacked love for God..After all doesn't
scripture tell us that God already knows what's going on in our hearts and
that He waits for us to share it with Him? You can tell Him.. He wants
to hear you share your heart with Him, warm or cold..You have friends
with whom you share good and bad..The Lord also wishes you to share all of you
with Him, not just the choice bits.
