sierra21

OKAY, before I can launch into my question I have to give you some background. I moved to an isolated native reserve to be with my husband in May of this year. I have a masters degree in psychology and got a job with the local school. It was not the job, I wanted, but it was something to do and gave us a bit of extra money. Since there were no job oppurtunities in social services I told them I would volunteer my services (mostly because I did not want to get rusty having not done any counselling for an extended period of time). Anyways, I was recently hired on to the company of my choice, and a job that I've been wanting since I moved here. Now here's where the problem lies. Currently I am under a "contract". This means that they automatically approve a certain amount of hours (for counselling) every week and anything above and beyond that I have to request approval. What I've found is that now that I'm considered a member of the team, I'm getting called to help out with various situations, but I don't know if they're calling me for volunteer work or actual paid work. What they're asking me to do is completely beyond what I used to do as volunteer work, and it's shady as to whether or not I can claim that as a part of the hours theyve pre-approved since those hours are alloted for certain individuals. Now I know they need the additional support, and normally I would not have an issue with it, but I had made plans for tomorrow to drive into the city (2hours away) to do some shopping and go to this meeting that I've been looking forward to for over a month. I don't mind volunteering when I have nothing else to do, and when I'm not doing the same job as other people who are being paid (even though I have aton more education!). but I feel really bad being blunt and just asking whether or not I'm going to be paid for my efforts since I DID offer to volunteer. Everything is just so gray and I hate asking for money, which is what I feel like I'm doing. But when I have to cancel my plans to help out and do a job that others are being paid for....well, you know. I guess I'd just like to know how everyone else would approach this. I don't want to seem greedy, but I also don't want to be taken advantage of.

I totally agree with you, my kids did all that, they went rafting, rock climbing, they even went to this uhmm event every summer where groups of teens went and helped those less fortunate in cities around the country. uhm can't remember waht it is called. But theres nothing wrong with playing video games either. I have given this quite a bit of thought since to the OP and it deserves such. Firstly, and I mean no offence. I think the idea of video games at church is a weakening of the foundation of any church and as 4given1 so aptly put it we should not be trying to "lure" our youth to go to church. I am not saying there's anything wrong with video games, if they aren't too violent, but there are six other days of the week to watch them. Parents should be attempting to get their kids off their backsides indoors and get out for some excercise and fresh air. Why is it that people can't go five minutes without having to be entertained by secular rubbish. There's a time and place for everything and to me, at any rate, playing video games of any sort at church to fill the pews is no more or less than bribery. I don't know anything about halo 1, 2, or 3, but they are man made gimmicks to make $$$ for some company. I know you can't force kids to go to church and it's no good begging them, but they have to be encouraged without coercement or bribery. The post modern preachers are doing enough to erode the true meaning of Christ and Him crucified, by diluting the real message of the christian church. When Jesus said to His disciples, come with me and I'll make you fishers of men, He didn't add, and I'll jack up a nice bbq for you afterwards. You want your kids to go to church? Then lead by example. Bribing them by silly video games is defeating the purpose of attending church. It's giving in to them. Okay come out guns ablazing, That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it. cheers. eric p/s and there is more where that came from as well. So let the Holy Spirit do His job, without enticement. Eric, (and I know you already know this but I'm gonna say it again) I always admire your ability to express the common sense approach to Christianity that you've become known for. Everytime I see you posting (and it doesn't happen often, for those of you who don't know- Eric rarely posts but when he does its good) I get excited because I know that we're all going to get exactly what we need. Thanks again Eric. Sierra

Okay, I don't know this video game firsthand, but I know from the "M" rating that it is probably something that's not appropriate in church (my husband has a few of these games and I have to leave the room because they're so disgusting in terms of violence and blood shed). I know of a lot of churches who have "youth nights" and play games, watch movies, etc. Would you allow your child to go to one of these events if they were playing an R rated movie? I'm guessing that no one would because that would be innapropriate. So my question is if its innapropriate to watch R rated movies at church, why is it okay to play essentially R rated games at church? Is there no other game that does not contain such violence that could be played instead? And whatever happened to outings? When I was a teen our church used to put together fishing trips, horseback riding, sports, etc! The beauty of this is that not only were we learning about Christ, but we were also getting some much needed exercise!

My husband also is very shy about praying in public...lol at first he was even too shy to pray in front of me! SO...I basically just never pressured him. When we pray together we usually do it in bed when we're both nice and comfy, sometimes its in the morning when its bright out, but usually its late at night and very dark. This seems to be the best time for him to pray out loud. Anyways I just pray and pray and he holds my hands. I am very long winded but I pause a lot in case he has something to add, which he sometimes does. Over the past few months he has started to pray more and more, and now in church he will sometimes pray with the group, even though he's a little quiet (if you knew my husband you would know thats unusual because hes a very outgoing person, but thats OKAY ) I just really encourage him and tell him that his prayers are wonderful when he does pray out loud because I think sometimes people are just nervous and worried that others will judge them. My point is- maybe you could find just one person that you're very comfortable with to pray with so that you're still in "private" but you have someone there listening. Then after that starts to get easy do what my husband did, just praying very quietly so that if you do think you said something silly or whatever (which you probably won't ) most people probably didn't hear it! Eventually you will be a pro and people won't be able to shut you up (that's me!) Anyways, I hope it works out for you. Pray about it too...

Dear heart.....You just figured it our on your own....You don't need advice from anyone....You've found the answer......the ones who have hurt you ......ARE THE FRAUDS. Particularly, if they persist in doing the same hurting over and over again. Whether they will be granted forgivenesss and become full Christians again later, is up to them and God Himself....But in the meantime, you don't have to associate yourself with them now....Eventually as you become closer to God you will learn to discern the difference in a True Christian.....Simply, what you know of yourself and how you act and love and worship God should be a good indicator as to how you should pick your friends... Blessings Cajunboy I disagree. Even Christians make mistakes. You can forgive them, but you dont have to risk making the same mistake twice by continuing to be friends with them. Pray for them, give them your best, and move on. You need people in your life that help you move closer to God and gosh darnit make you feel good. If I had a quarter for every person I thought would turn into a great friend and didn't....well lets just say I wouldn't have to worry about money too much

Heres what I think. IF you were qualified as a hairstylist back in the day- why not get re-qualified? This way you could find a job at a salon (I hear some are very flexible) or just cut hair right out of your house (very popular in the small town I grew up in). But if you want to try something new by all means go for it! Pray about it, God always listens!

A 9 year old is able to understand consequences and punishment. My answer is no, it is not appropriate for a father to swat his 9 year old on their bare bottom.

I honestly don't get offended when people say "OH my God" because they're surprised or whatever. I don't think its right to use his name when you're frustrated, angry, etc. I think it's all about context. I honestly don't think God is going to sit back and count how many times you said his name because you thought something was odd, funny, or surprising. But then again I live my life as happily as possible, trying to avoid getting angry about things that really aren't mine to judge.

Have Cam baby you, too. It's not a cure, but when you feel loved, you feel better. Ha well that goes without saying! Unfortunately his work duties pulled him away for most of the day, and now hes at work again. Just me and the pup! I've been drinking a lot of fluids today, hot and cold....and I've taken vitamin C tablets. I wish I had a humidifier, but i don't. And unfortunately the closest walmart is an hour and a half away....*sigh*.

I can take tylenol but that doesn't help for a stuffy nose or ears.

Okay I was just wondering if anyone had any good home remedies for a cold. I'm pregnant so I can't take any meds. All day I've had a headache, stuffy nose, and sneezing like crazy. My ears have also been bothering me a bit. They just feel stuffed up. Help??

I think it depends on what university you go to. BUT, in general the point of university is "universal learning" which means you are required to learn from a variety of different subject areas in order to obtain your degree. For example, in my undergrad degree I had to complete 6 credit hours from at least 5 different subject areas, including my major and minor. SO, I had to take 6 credit hours of Math, 6 credit hours of Science, 6 credit hours of humanities, 6 credit hours of social sciences, and 6 credit hours of english. That on top of whatever is required by your major and minor will earn you a degree. It sounds easy, but can actually be difficult depending on what you're good at. But you'll also learn that many of the courses you'll be required to take for your major/minor will include some of these subject areas. For example in order to get an undergrad psych degree you have to take a stats course which satisfies your math requirement. So you don't need to take some difficult calculus course or anything like that. Anyways, it depends on your university and their requirements, but its a very good idea to get these things straight in your head before you start choosing courses. I would say the best advice is to try and satisfy some of these requirements in your first year, but pay attention to the courses you'll be taking in your second year because many of them will fill your required subject areas. lol I hope that isn't too confusing...but then you'll find you're confused a lot as a university student so....

Since I live in Canada I suppose I have a bit of a different perspective. I really don't see a big issue in this. Keep in mind that religion no longer has a place in most public schools, so this is something you're always going to have to contend with. It sounds to me like the school just wants to keep in remembrance of Sept.11... Personally I don't really see the point, unless you're commememorating those that are out in war...but then who am I? Why people want to continually dwell on this day I don't understand. It will not change anything to "remember" since no one could really do anything to change it anyway!

Thank you so much Sierra! This is exactly the kind of thing I want to know BEFORE I start university. (I have to send in my application by December to qualify for early entrance awards, and after that I can change my mind, but it's trickier). I think there will be plenty of things I'm interested in taking in university besides a second language (I'm hoping for plenty of psychology/philosophy electives, even though I'll be a mathematics major). That and I'll have plenty of time to learn a second language (my local college offers public summer courses in foreign languages, and seeing as I plan to be a teacher, I'll have time to burn during the summer). Well since I have my masters in Psych, feel free to pick my brain about any courses you're considering! I've always encouraged other students to take advantage of psych courses, they're so interesting and you learn so much about the human brain and personality! Some people think that psychology as a science can conflict with christianity, but I think those people are simply reading into it too much. Of course science is always going to debate with christianity, but if you take the information for what it's worth, and use it as a way to learn how to understand those around you, you will benefit greatly. And you may even find that your faith strengthens the more you understand human nature and our inert need to understand where we came from, and why we're here. lol but of course I'm partial. In my university career I've taken so many different courses though, please feel free to ask me any questions you may have and I will answer them as best I can! Good luck (lol if you can't tell I'm insanely jealous of you, beginning your university career is such a blessing and was such an amazing time for me. Its so awesome to think of the oppurtunities you have and how you'll shape your life...consider yourself blessed Keilan. This is not an oppurtunity everyone has..be thankful! )

I'm still not entirely sure how the program works. I might still be able to pick up a second language using my elective courses, the minor might be referring to learning enough about the language to teach it. I'm sure I'll be able to take a class or two on a different language to get a basic knowledge of it. (and I'm not sure of this, but a Religious Studies minor MIGHT let me learn the basics of hebrew or greek). I'll tell you right now that learning a second language in university is very, VERY difficult. Especially if you're looking at taking on a language that isn't commonly spoken in your area. If you have absolutely no knowledge of a second language I would not suggest you take the course in university because you're gonna end up with a bad grade. I've seen countless people fail classes like this simply because it was too fast paced for someone who has no prior knowledge of the language. If however, you have taken classes before and want to learn how to speak a language fluently then it might work, but even then you need to be very driven and expect to do upwards of at least 3 hours of homework a night. I took an introductory class in italian in my first year and managed to get a B, but that was honestly the hardest B I even pulled off. And it required countless hours of memorization that in my opinion would have been more usefull in a different area. Especially since I rarely if ever use my knowledge of the italian language for anything.

Thanks, Marnie I just signed up today, but I didn't get any flyers or things of that nature. It's weird, because just this last Monday, I hit the lady's car with my van. There wasn't anyone around, so I left a note on the car. She called, and I told her to let me know how much the damages were....It's SO weird, because I hit it pretty hard, but then when I got out to inspect it, there was virtually NO damage....and the lady confirmed it. It's just kind of comical to me..."Oh, hey, I came by to see how your car was doing. BTW, would you like to come to church?!" LOL...kind of a strange segway. First of all- i think marnie gave some good direction here. Second of all- God can be very sneaky in how he opens doors for us to spread the good news....take advantage of all the oppurtunities he offers!

I don't know where you live, but in Canada the "Church of God" is a demonination I think you would like. It is different from the one in the US though...so if you live there you might be out of luck!

Interesting topic. I guess I could never understand polygamy because it is so foreign to me. Personally I would not want to partake because for one- it's illegal. Secondly, my husband can barely handle me, I have no idea what he'd do with even more estrogen around the house! But in all seriousness, if one needs the conviction to stay away from polygamy we should remember that God commanded us to follow the laws of our land. Therefore, here in canada polygamy is illegal and thus, I would never do it. I have no desire to be a part of it anyway, but if we can't come to an agreement about anything else, there is at least this.

be careful to not overstep your boundaries. There are some things that should stay between a couple, including past sexual history. If I were ever asked by my husbands family about my sexual past they would get a big fat "that's none of your business". Give your niece a little bit of credit here okay? Chances are shes not stupid and wouldn't want to pick up anything like that! As for other questions....ask him what his relationship is like with his mom and other family members. This is a good indicator of what type of person he is. I dont ask about past sexual relationships. I ask if they have a disease that will harm my neice. If I have overstepped my boundries then my neice would not have asked me for my opinion of him. Nor would she have said it was time for the dinner. We are getting off the topic. I want to know what questions YOU would ask. look above hon!

After reading your posts I guess I have a question. if you have met ALL her male friends, for the purpose of getting to know them, why has she made some pretty bad mistakes? I would ask her what she feels would be the kind of questions she thinks you should ask... I hope she finds a good one... A wise woman once told me this: "Of course all of your exes were idiots! If they weren't they wouldn't be exes and you'd be married!" It's a lighthearted way of cheering up those ladies right smack in the middle of the dating game. It can get frustrating to say the least! But just keep in mind that you only need to find ONE good guy! Blessings!

be careful to not overstep your boundaries. There are some things that should stay between a couple, including past sexual history. If I were ever asked by my husbands family about my sexual past they would get a big fat "that's none of your business". Give your niece a little bit of credit here okay? Chances are shes not stupid and wouldn't want to pick up anything like that! As for other questions....ask him what his relationship is like with his mom and other family members. This is a good indicator of what type of person he is.

I went on a long drive tonight and I was thinking about this. I think i've changed my viewpoints from what i originally thought. I think love CAN be a feeling, but it may or may not be accompanied by the choice to love. At the same time, one can choose to love someone devoid of the actual "feeling" of love. For example, there are times when I am terribly angry with my brother. I don't feel much love for him, but at the end of the day I choose to go to his house and make up with him because he is my family. I will always love him even if I don't really feel it. Other times, for example, my husband does something so wonderful that I look into his eyes and feel overwhelmingly in love with him that there is no need for a choice. I hope that makes sense...

I am disturbed that everyone has completely ignored my first comment..... honestly....I'm shaking my head.

Sex is not the center of a marriage, but Paul knew how important it was; so important that to NOT have sex with your spouse is considered a sin, unless it is by mutual consent. Of course, illness and age will diminish the sex drive of most of us, that's why I say there are many, many ways to be intimate with your spouse. Without a doubt, all sex begins in the your mind. To not desire intimacy says more about your attitude toward your spouse than about your health.