Turnapage

micen2,thank you for the words of encouragement and thank you for the hug, asap,thank you for the website, I went to it and there were so many signs to let me know that I am being abused but of course in my heart I already knew it.Also thank you so much for the prayer. shazza,thank you also for the words of encouragement.I used to be a pretty sunny person and you are right negative comments can really drag you down. Rachel, I just read what you have gone through with your friend and I do believe you made the right decision. I wish it could be that easy for me. You will probably be receiving a pm from me soon. There are a few things I need to elaborate on. Thanks for all your prayers and advice.It will soon be a new year and a new me!

How do you take offensive comments from someone you love?How do you let the comments go? I have tried to explain to this person for years that his comments hurt me and he says this is just how he is and to get over it. I know forgiveness is the factor and I have done this over and over.It's almost a daily thing.Maybe I'm overly sensitive but some of the things he says to me are really, really cruel. I know I need to go into a serious prayer mode.I know I need to bless this person after each bad comment but it just seems to get harder and harder.Has anyone out there been through this? Offensive comments coming from a stranger is one thing but when it comes from someone who is close to you is something else.

Hey Monarchy!!! I'm glad that you realize you have junk. Alot of people walk around oblivious to the fact that they have junk,in other words I got junk in my trunk,you've got junk in your trunk,all God's children have junk in their trunk. All through the bible people that have junk have been used for some pretty incredible things! Take for instance Saul/Paul.Talk about some junk in someone's trunk! He persecuted Christ's followers like crazy.We'll what happened on the road to Damascus....An eye opening experience for Saul...Jesus himself asked him "Saul why are you persecuting me"? Well obviously Saul had no good expaination...Fast forward...Saul became Paul.Paul had alot to contend with then.Christ's followers doubted that he had changed.He had to make the doubters believers with God's help and that's what happened.The rest is history. Or Mary Magdelene (sp?) Jesus cast out demons from her(Some major junk) And who was there to deliver the message that He had risen...Yep she was! The whole bible is full of people that had junk. You keep on doing good for your mother...in God's own time she will see the truth! I'm hopping off my soapbox now, giving you a big hug and telling you from me "Every mother would love to have a son like you"! God Bless

Hi BFP! {{{{{{{ :emot-hug}}}}}} I know sometimes it's so hard.I also know about the law and who gets protected and who doesn't. I just went to the magistrates office yesterday to get a restraining order against my dear bipolar stepson. As I mentioned in a previous thread he harrasses us ,Well the night before he got mad with us and called his younger brother and told him that he was going to come down here and kill me. I called the magistrate and they said to bring the person that he communicated the threat to.He didn't want to get his brother in trouble and wouldn't go so I went.The magistrate looked at me and said if he didn't threaten me personally then I couldn't get the restraing order.I told him that my stepson has a key to my house but it doesn't matter. He told me to go to this boy's county and have him involuntarily commited.You may ask where is my husband in all of this? He told me to do what I had to do but he didn't think his son would hurt me.I called my daughter,she works for disability to find out what my options were and my husband told his younger son to tell the bipolar son that I was talking to my daughter about getting his disability check taken away (which nothing like that came up in our conversation) and the bipolar stepson said he was calling disability on Monday and having her fired.I was so mad at my husband but he said he was just trying to scare him.So BFP, I know.Sometimes when you feel like your doing the right thing things blow up.We do have to rely on God.At least he won't abandon us or betray us.He is always with us. You have my prayers.

Hi Maureen! You have been through it too. It seems like your daughter and my stepson are alike as finding a scapegoat to hurl all their anger on.How are your younder children managing with all this?How is your daughter doing with the baby?( I know you are loving that little bundle of love). I think maybe I will take your advice on talking to his caseworker about how he is managing his money and yes he self medicates himself with alcohol.He told his younger brother that he had stolen beer from the grocery store and his bro told us.When my husband confronted him about it he denied it.He denies everything all the time.His mom is an enabler and sometimes even my husband is. My husband is constantly threatening him but nothing works because my husband never follows through.My stepson was also put on a mood stabilizer to go with the paxil but he refuses to take it.he won't even go see his doctor.He gets his meds from a friend of a friend of a friend. We have to keep our faith and keep on keeping on because these people will definitely try to zap out all our joy. God bless! Hi Lady Raven! I definitely understand why your ex is your ex.You are so right when you say that these people that don't have anything to do and feel so bad about themselves that they cast their anger and bitterness on others just so they can feel better. I would love to see him go to the psychiatrist and take his meds (the proper meds) but he just won't do it. God Bless

Thanks terter! Thank you so much for the prayers.Yes I believe my husband is right too. Have you ever noticed that when you think you see a light at the end of the tunnel it's the train and the devil is the conductor? I do know this though, God is bigger than anything and I mean anything.

Hi BFP I think we all have had to deal with fear at some point in our life. one of the verses in the bible that I always go back to is John10:10-The thief cometh not,but for to steal,and to kill,and to destroy,I am come that they might have life,and that they might have it more abundantly. This is a verse that really moves me to the point that I know God doesn't want us to fear.I will let you know that I have to go back to this verse almost everyday. I don't know if this helps any but you have my prayers. God Bless, Wendy

BFP, that is wonderful about your husband !You know God works in his own time and miraculous things happen everyday! Northen Lass and BFP thank you! Sometimes when we think we are alone there is someone going through the same thing. I often wonder if this is some kind of test,then sometimes I wonder if I'm being punished for something.I've only been going through this for a year...I can't even imagine going through it year after year.Without the grace of God and his mercy what would we ever do?My prayers are with you both and thank you so much! God Bless, Wendy

Well I just got home and our answering machine had 1 message.I debated on whether to listen to it or not but I did.I was relieved to hear that it was only a political message. Leonard and Northern Lass thanks so much for your input. He has been seeing a psychiatrist for the last 5 yrs. My husband never knew this until he had his talk with him. The doctor put him on paxil but this kid upped his own medication to double the amount.He stopped seeing his doctor but kept taking this drug.He never had these outbursts until last year when a male friend of his ( I did mention that he said he was gay) died suddenly. Thats when he started going down hill. Also when his dad said he would not give him anymore money. When he applied for disability he got a check for back pay and instead of putting it away he got his mom to cosign for him to get a Landrover.Makes no sense to me at all especially if he wants to keep his house. I have also mentioned to my husband about blocking his number but he will not do it.I don't know why. Northern Lass, I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this too.It hurts, I know. It hurts when you know this isn't the person that they truly are.

I guess this is the thread I need to come to for this one. I've had another sleepless night.I haven't had one in about 2 months, but I believe I'm getting way ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning. About 4 years ago I met a man ( my husband now).We began dating.We have both been married before and divorced. I have a son (he's 26yrs) and a daughter (24) and he has 2 sons, 33 and 26.We dated for 1 yr. before deciding to get married.My kids love him and his sons,I thought loved me. After we had been married about a year his oldest son called him saying that he hadn't worked in about 6 months (he had been a successful real estate agent) and that he had used up all his savings. His son told him that he was depressed and had been diagnosed as bipolar.He was crying the whole time he was talking to my husband.I told my husband to go see him and try to comfort him.My husband went and when he walked into the house it smelled of cat urine(he does have a cat) and the place looked like a tornado had hit.His son had always been a perfectionist and had always been very clean.They talked about everything, how his son was raised(i believe there was some abuse there, physical, mental and emotional),how he didn't want to lose his house and me.He told his father that I was the best choice that he could have ever made.He even told his father that he was gay.My husband held it together but I think that really bothered him the most. When I got home from work my h relayed everything toat was said to me.I told my h to tell his son to come stay with us and see if we could work things out.I prayed for his son so hard. His son would stay with us like 3 days in a row and then go back home because of cat. He didn't want to lose his house but we told him he couldn't keep it.He wasn't working.I told him he could live with us.He didn't want to hear it.He started asking for money from his mom and my husband.Every moth it was more and more.Within 3 months my husband had given him 7 thousand dollars and his mom had given him about the same.My husband put his foot down.He told him that he just couldn't do it anymore,Thats when the phone calls began.He started leaving nasty messages on our voicemails and would call our house phone and cell phones continously.An example would be 9 calls on the house phone and maybe 7 to 8 on our cell all within 1 hr. Can you even imagine that?He would leave messages that said my husband and I were living in adultery ( he always attacks our faith) that I was no good and that my husband should put him before me.My husband told him that I was his wife but his son said no that I was the second wife and I didn't count.This is just a little bit of what we have been through with him.I have prayed and cried so much. The night before my daughter got married my husband and I went to the rehearsal dinner ,his son left 5 nasty messages on our home phone saying that my husband shouldn't have anything to do with his so-called stepdaughter and that he should always come first.On the message he even told his dad to get rid of me.I got 2 hrs sleep that night I was so upset.The day of my daughter's wedding I looked like death could help me. About 2 or 3 months ago he received his first disability check and we thought he might have cooled down.Last night my husband was talking to him and his son brought up the bible.Well, my husband tried to talk to him about it.You can't talk to this boy without him starting an argument especially about the bible.My husband told him that he loved him but he wasn't going to argue.When he hung up the calls started.I'm tired so tired.I laid in bed last night not crying but thinking how did all this happen.I know God says that he will repay but I just laid in bed and thought about how I could just get him back to make him stop.I'm not like this.I've always been humble and easy to get along with.I did ask for forgiveness for my thoughts.My husband says it's satan trying to attack our family. This is just the tip of the iceburg of what all has happen. I welcome your advice.I welcome your prayers. God Bless, Wendy

I know about gossip because I worked in a hair salon! I'm with Peaches on this...change the subject! It may take awhile for it to sink in but it will eventually.

Hi Canadasuzi, God doesn't send us to hell. As human beings, God gave us free will. We have two choices,We can either call on Jesus as our personal savior or deny him. Making that choice pretty much seals our fate.