reconditioned

Didn't you come across this in post #6? John17: 6-10... I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. However, all that Jesus was given is also God's as He says. I don't know.

I have had some odd dreams in my life but none ever lie this. I always knew that someday a person would communicate with me from some thing like this but I had never imagined that it would have happened. I was being the way I always was in a dream. Being out of it and not knowing it. Suddenly I could'nt get things to work properly and I sobered up a great deal. I dodn't know what wasn't working but things were changing one their own and strangely. Someone I happen to probably be with a lot in my dreams and real life came up and aksed me what I did. He looked very concerned and several other people also showed up. A person showed up like on a computer screen. I have never seen them, before in my life. He may or may not have been familiar. But some of the people with me either recognized him and diodn't like him or knew something about the situation because they seemed to grow quite angry. As far as I could tell none of them could take their eyes off the screen so to speak but there were mixed feelings. I don't know if some of the angry ones suspected that this might occur. The person speaking to me said stuff I can't remember and seemed to be familiar with me. He asked me some questions about some things. I did what I could to answer. Someone else was with him. Some one twice his size and grinning. He treated the first guy rather poorly to say the least. The big guy didn't say anything. He just threw the other guy to what seemed to be the other side of the room or something and walked away smiling. I wish I could remember what was said about him. There was a lot going on. Someone in the dream called this phenomina something I can't remember. Something that meant a door way of some sort. I feel this experiece may have been wasted on me though considering that I don't even know who the other guy is or what he's doing, but I assume he's like me in some regards to purpose. I still hear someone else's voice talking to me. I think that someone out there must know what's going on, if not from just knowing then maybe God telling them. But I assume that this is some sort of doorway or something. But I can't even verify that I'm recieving communications from the same person. I don't think I've ever seen all the other people surprised like that before, so this has to be big stuff in some way. Edit: if this is in the wrong place, someone move it because maybe it goes in prayer requests. I personally have no clue what this could possibly mean to anyone. It's a personal thing isn't it? well, just put in the seeker's lounge then.

And I thought that to judge if a person was a false prophet or something you administered the test in 1 john 4. That should clear up the source of one's comments and whatnot. I'm just saying that you can't just decide if a person is a christian. Only they'd know for sure. And they'll either tell you or not or they'll lie or not. Although I personally think that people should ask God to explain to them whether they are christians or not. I mean, you can tell if a person is a good christian or not but you can't tell if they are one or aren't.

Can you back up what you said about salvation with scripture? I was under the impression that Jesus decided who was with him and who wasn't. This makes sense considering how only he can know a person's innermost being and humanity is completely incapable of that.

Yeah, I know what you mean Trinity, Although personall I couldn't care less what people think of me concerning Jesus or God, I mean All I really care about is God getting the glory no matter the cost if possible. Yeah, I only ever care about doing what makes him look good. I mean who cares what anyone thinks of you for being a christian or if they treat you unfairly. I'd rather live with enemies and make Jesus and God glorified than leave this place if I can at all help it. I sure hope I suceed to his standards though. I really don't know where to draw the line though. I can never tell when I should speak up for God or not. Its a big mystery to me a lot of times. So if anyone can tell me where to go or what to say to whom I'd appreciat it. The last place I tried to make a stand with God just had the entire community expel me from their prescence and I don't know if it was bacause I love God or if they just don't like me. They really did get very insulting whan I brought him up. But, all people are like that so, How do I know what happened? I, mean, I'm not an expert in human psychology anymore, I can't understand who they're angry at or about. Anyone, know? Because sooner or later God's probably gonna talk to someone and tell me whats going on. So just let me know if there ever is and prophetic words or something.

What that last person said. They put it into better words than I could come up with.

I am a christian. Just like in the Bible, I gave to Jesus all I possibly could and more of the future than I could imagine. I specifically told him to be the lord of my life and he has done many things for me since then. I don't know what I'm reconditioned for because its a work in process. I AM reconditioned from being some other things that Lucifer himself may or may not be behind. I was different back then. His sort made me someone else for different purposes than me or God approved of. Edit: Hence reconditioned, because I am in many ways.

Jesus said that God gave him the peoples that were his so I think that Jesus is the head of the church. Can someone post the scripture that says that? It says so quite clearly.

I don't get it. Is he talking to me or someone else? Or everone in general? I care more about the church doing what is correct and right than evangelisticizing. I mean, who wouldn't. I don't want God or the church getting the image of being crooked or anything after all. Besides, If I just stormed around telling people that Jesus and God are my friend don't you think that they might think that either God is just a front for lewd behavior or something. I mean, I can't associat myself with Jesus. I'm a wreck. I mean, people are already using him as an excuse to con other out of money and things, I can't do what they do. Especially me of all people too. Seriously. I've got sin, I can't just say that God accepts me for who I am or something like that. I'm serious about that bad image thing, I've seen many many crook hide behind God and its wrong to do that. It makes people think that God is also a crook. Sometimes anyway. I guess its just not a rightous thing to do.

Hey, some of thats not true. Any one of you could fall and start bearing bad fruit. If you don't stop assuming that other people aren't saved God just might let you see what its like to be wrong for a little while. I'm serious, you shouldn't say that about some folks. Besides, I've know die hard athiests who acted civil and nice. They weren't christian. It has to be acknowledged that appearences are often decieving. Edit: in fact, thats why God is our Judge and not whoever feels called to have an opinion. Well, Jesus technically, but you know who I mean.

I don't get it. I always just look for the cleanest cup. God's not trying to tell me somehting here is he? I'm not so good at some things some times. If you see him let him know that I was wondering ok. I really feel that this story applies to me though. I don't know how or why but it does. Thats pretty cool.

Sounds like if it is true than it was a demon trying to force you through willpower into doing what it wanted. They can do that. Hard to resist sometimes. I don't think it was a demon for just suiceide though. I had one do that exact thing to me once and I think it was one of the locals, unless they sent out specifically and only for one night a special guy for the job. If you have spiritual discernment you should notice that its someone else's mind trying to affect yours. I myself have been accused of having a demon of sarcasm once. I knew this demon somewhat and it did a lot more than be sarcastic. So I don't think that there is one demon for almost everything. Christians have alway baffled my how the can identify a demonic presence sometimes but they'll mis identfy who they are by getting it mixed up with their current emotions or actions. Very misleading. And try to understand that it isn't just demons who make you want die or be angry or anything. SOme would have a person believe that they're only negative around demonic influences. I don't know why they promote those ideas. Of course, maybe a demon of suicide does get commisioned for this sort of thing but that would be kind of wierd and I'd have to ignore a lot of christians who I know have mis identifeid them to come to that conclusion.

The only names thay ever gave me in english were really either titles of function like fear and insanity or vague references like exile or some such things. I didn't realize that their real names were in another language though. I though they were just really different and hard to pronounce. I think that if their names have meaning then it might have something to do with a characteristic about them thats no longer present or something. But I'm no expert. I couldn't even handle a telemarketer much less a demon. I've gotten to the point that the only time I ever talk to them is when I'm completly out of my gourd. And boy is it frustrating trying to deal with some one serious with serious issues when you're out of it like I am. If anyone could ask God to fix this for me I be doing a lot better in thing, so could someone put a good word in for me? If I don't get back my ability to function properly here I may get permanently depresses and become a full blown alcoholic. I really need these brains repaired or something. Personally I think I should get my abilities back with interest seeing as how this sort of thing comes up as often as it does. Believe me, In my life I NEED the ability to function soberly. Sober as in without trauma induced delerium.

I'd say that Jesus is the head. It say so somewhere in the Bible. That God made him it. Several other things are for him too in fact.

Hey, I'm not happy about this sort of thing. I cannot make a person be with God and become a Christian. Its impossible, no one can. But all I hear other Christians go on about is saving others. Like I can just go out and make people Christians as an act of willpower or effort. Also, I can't be a witness to anyone. So what will happen to me?? Is there going to be trouble because of this? I WAS a good example once, but it offended God that I was being a fake christian, or so I assume. My best behavior makes other very upset. People call me all kinds of things. I am severly tempted to deny all affiliation with Jesus because people like me are so hated that we're only ever seen in movies or on the news. What should I do though? I've heard that if I deny knowing him I'll commit a sin. And whether I acknowledge that I know him or not people still think I'm evil and twisted. They hate what they see. The fruit of my life is death and corruption. So, would you people condemn me? For not being Christian enough? Most of you probably already have. I think that almost all of you would send me to hell if you could. I don't want to go to heaven with that. I don't want that set over me when I get there. I hate that. I'd rather die and have no part in eternal life if I could avoid hell at the same time. So, Leonard, and those others of you I'm talking to,if you can hear me, Are you willing to just wash your hands of me and have no opinions what so ever at least for the sake of the relationship I have with God? Because he might not consider it all my fault someday? Oh, by the way, could someone very spiritual tell me what to think about all the things above like not being a good example despite trying? Or Evangelist types warping the dynamics of Christianity in a way possibly harmful to new believers.

No, you are not evil, as long as you have a problem with the way you are. Which is in fact evil. You sound a lot like I used to be, although I was insane in many ways at the time as well, so I won't relate perfectly, but I did pass the point you describe. I can only suggest that you hang on and struggle to do the impossible and both survive and do as little killing as possible. God knows what you're going through, so try not to feel too frustrated by the lack of communications. I myself have been said to have very little heart left for Jesus to inhabit like most people, or something like that so don't worry about it. Just try as hard as you can to be with God and Jesus, thats what I do.

I am only trying to explain myself. I feel obligated since people are wondering about my intentions. I never used to complain. I never complained. I may have done horrible things to people who weren't responsible for what happened but I never complained. EVER And I'm not complaining now nearly as much as it seems, I'm trying to explain myself. One of the things I was taught from the begining was never to complain. I spent many years in misery not complaining. I am extremly offended. First, by saying that I have a complaining spirit you have suggested someone else is controling or influencing me. Second, you're implying that I'm doing this to complain. Both are things I am very sensitive about. Especially considering that I don't think either is true. This is very upsetting to me I'm going to get drunk if I can, and then maybe I'll rethink these sorts of converstions. What business of everybody's is what goes on in my heart, of life anyway. You've all done a very good job talking to me. Some of you I like a great deal, and I hold none of you in any particular place of anger or unforgiveness. I might come back later. I guess. When I've cooled off or something. Sorry if I've found fault in any of you.

Actually, to tell the truth my mother and some other people in my life were much, much worse. My father was the good guy.

My own prayer are never answered. But when another prays for me things happen instantly. And there's usually no one to pray for me. But like you, I have never held God responsible. I only have anger towards him because of some issues I have with fatherly figures, its not personal. You could say its stray anger. I've been saved for many years now. I only feel his ways are unjust because As a child all I saw were evils done in the name of God. And abuse from people I loved. I have issues with him on the basis of his position, but once again nothing personal. Its really more of a sever insecurity and paranoia, mixed with low self esteem and bitterness and anger toward all creation and existance in general. So I' don't really consider him unjust, in fact he's the only one I've ever considered right unconditionally. But I don't want heaven though, When I joined up I though I would disappear as if I never were when I died. Its what I always wanted most in life other than to do absolutly everything I possibly could for God's glory or his people. Or to stop as much of the horror as I could. I don't want to be in heaven though unless its, worth my while though. I hate the place, and many in it due to a prejudiced nature. And I don't want to suffer again, in any for life is a horrible abomination to me. The though of being somewhere without the option to stop existing is a bad on for me. I don't consider it a reward to get there unless God's overly generous towards me. I just want to do what God wants. It just sure seems he likes everyone else better than me though. Most are pretty to look at on the inside for one reason or another. I can't understand what I see in them but it's from God I assume. They look like better people in their logic and actions. I broke under the stress, I think they wouldn't. Some are already broken and they look better than me in fact.

Why is it not a good idea to start a family for her? Suppose everything goes wrong after she has any? Suppose they're born with birth defects or someone abuses them and she doesn't know? What if she marries someone who turns into a monster and she starts drinking and doesn't realize her kid is neglected? Its not worth the risk is it? Have some compassion for crying out loud. Would you put children through what you went through when you grew up? I just don't want to have to have a person like her on my conscience. I don't want her to throw her life and/or someone else's away foolishly. I hope she finds a good husband though. Althoug hpersonally I think she's better off not even thinking about associating with humanity any way. She should set her standards higher and better, like an great christian deserves to. People settle for less when they do this sort of thing anyway. I think all a person need is a relationship with God and thats all that's good for them. It's healthier. Anything else could only ruin one's being or something.

I don't think he WANTS people to suffer. It just seems to not work out though. I mean, He never helps me or gives me the Holy Spirit until another christian closer to him than me prays for me. I'm insecure that he's even doing his will in my life. He's tricky to me. I feel that Only people born bewtter than me or something are going to get what they want or anything. I don't hold it against God but it makes me bitter. Very bitter. And I feel he's trying to cheat others more than me. I want all of you to know what I know and see what I see. And I want you people to want better than what you are were given. I feel all of humanity deserves better for what We've been through. Its just that I've seen myself and other in life accept less than we've deserved far too often. I know I did. Maybe I don't see the end but I think none of us should be cheated. No blame, for anything except what we really did wrong and a better reward than just living. Or even far better living than imaginable.

I don't see how I'm wrong. I leave open a space for such an error but only because God might have something to say about that. I usually jus tconsider the source of whoever tells me I'm wrong. Its always atheiests and christians. The formaer are understandibly against me, I'm a christian who'd rather sin didn't exist and they love sin, care little for others, and are too self rightous in that they justify their evil against their fellow man and own children. But I see Christians act just like them and talk just like them. Only they claim to love Jesus and the trut hand right. They give God a bad name. I've known many christians, whom I'm not even related too who have had many children in very adulterous affairs, abandoned the kids married other women for money, Had their own kids taken to Jail for being criminal. And reasonably so as one was possesed and still is for all I know and the other's mother drank and had sexually abusive boy friends. Both the mother and father are christians. One goes to church, sings praise to God and has no guilt for their mistakes. The say that God commands one to procreat and that There is nothing done wrong. Christians acting like heathen is worse than the heathen themselves. I think I'm right in my conclusions. And I think you people should reconsider you cold hard views. Because this is what you sound like to me when you defend your selves or the belief that humanity should exist or that God cares as much as he seems. Now God is good and he is right but you people should change you actions, words and views. To live life as a naive spiritual drunk is worse than my living as a bitter, angry, twisted spiritual drunk. I can at least say that I care for other human being enough not to condone their suffering. Some of you folk do just that by saying I'm wrong in my ideas but not having a better set from God. No doubt many of you are on power trips in your personal home lives. Playing God's favorite for someone? Like the feel of power over someone weaker than you? Or are you careless to a fault and justify your negligence and hold tight to any position of authority? By the way, if any one is gay I think they sholdn't be proud of it.

If it makes you feel better I was a real man to the best of my knowledge. So the do exist, and you're not foolish for wanting one. I'd like to think that I still am. Please don't try to start a family though.

My guilt is the feeling that someone a lot stronger than me may or may not decide to afflict me for reasons that I cannot comprehend. Its based on personal experience though, to this day God has yet to cause me harm. But still, its there and no one should play the blame game with another human being Christians too often do, where something is someone elses fault. Like its mine for feeling paranoid aroung God. Or that I was guilty in the past for my mistakes. you don't know that. Yet you say I'm at fault for not taking the responsibility for what I should have. I'll have you know, I took the blame for many things in my life, for other people. I never realized until too late that I was used and manipulated. I'm free of the lies and imposed guilt now. Yet you as a christian claim that it was ligitimate, at least thats what you're implying by saying I should take responsibility for anything. I know some of you are God's people. But you ones who act as if you knew me when you don't and imply I'm at fault without knowledge of my reasons act like Satan. His kind was always accusing me. Mostly for things I had nothing to do with. Like you just did. If its an accident though I won't hold it against you. I justs worry that I see so called Christians prone to this behavior.

I don't think that Christian based assaults on demonic entities are effective enough. I am quite convinced that God himself doesn't care enough to sufficiently protect even his own people as well. I think he protects me as much as he does because I've drawn peoples attention to him and he's reluctant to break character in front of others. The only real solution that I can see and have ever seen is to exterminate all of humanity. Satan, contrary to public belief probably wouldn't like that. People are just natural built tools for demonic angels anyway, so why keep either around? The only one anyone can kill off is the people they're going to be or are in control of. Besides, I don't think the worlds going to miss humanity anyway, I sure wouldn't. I'm serious, an evil person likes slaves and monumants of depravity more than dead people. You people don't like what they do, do you?