femelle

It's been nine years since i divorced my husband and only now are we sorting out the financial separation regarding family home. Negligence on the part of the solicitor mean't it didn't get sorted at the time; we both thought it had. That firm has long since gone bust. The court ruled last week and as from the first week in October, all matters should be concluded. It's a relief for both of us as we don't speak. At the time of our separation i certainly took no responsibility for the breakdown of our marriage. I do now. Only now can i be honest and say that we didn't really love each other and got married to quickly which ended up becoming apparent the nine years we lived together. We were in love with the idea of being in love, rather than actually in love. I sorely regret my part in the mess of our divorce because of how it affected my daughter.

I see a ministry developing I'm useless at computer games, i do try but i'm all fingers and thumbs.

There are many things ideas the Swiss come up with that i think work well, not just their health care system. I would like to see affordable private health care in Britain, rather than a system that has contributed to a somewhat dependent society concerning their health.

I am a little fuzzy on what constitutes a 'hate crime'. I thought it was a collective thing about stiring people up or inciting to riot. Maybe it only is in Britain. I would wonder if the judge who ruled in this case did not make an error. I also wonder if the decision could have been overturned. Seems a little arbitrary to me.

I have been looking at the whole idea of giving, not just when we have plenty but when we have little. The Widow of Zarephath1 Kings 17: 8-16 "Then the word of the LORD came to him, "Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and dwell there. Behold, I have commanded a widow there to feed you." So he arose and went to Zarephath. And when he came to the gate of the city, behold, a widow was there gathering sticks. And he called to her and said, "Bring me a little water in a vessel, that I may drink." And as she was going to bring it, he called to her and said, "Bring me a morsel of bread in your hand." And she said, "As the LORD your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. And now I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it and die." And Elijah said to her, "Do not fear; go and do as you have said. But first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterward make something for yourself and your son. For thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, 'The jar of flour shall not be spent, and the jug of oil shall not be empty, until the day that the LORD sends rain upon the earth.'" And she went and did as Elijah said. And she and he and her household ate for many days. The jar of flour was not spent, neither did the jug of oil become empty, according to the word of the LORD that he spoke by Elijah." The widow had nothing much to speak of and the thing she most needed, she was asked to give away to someone else in need. Her poor status (widow, homeless, on wellfare, disabled), did not make her exempt as we would think in our natural human minds. There are so many other incidences in scripture where God requires people to give the little they have and certainly with money, possessions, food etc... it can be uncomfortable and seem even wrong to accept a gift from a person who has so little themselves but in the light of scripture, to humbly, graciously accept, would be allowing their faith (in God) to flow through you, then from you (as you trust God to fill their lack) to God and them in thanksgiving. In all so that God may be glorified. Then i began to think about the emptiness in our soul. When we have grief, sickness, a lack of love, lonely, broken-hearted, whatever the dis-ease. To give away to another what we are so desperately in need of ourselves can often be the most freeing way to come through a difficult journey and be filled ourselves. Instead of trying to procure it from others, seek out those equally in need and give to them the very thing you lack, unconditionally, expecting nothing in return. Giving without looking to other humans to fill our need but leaving God to fill the internal void. If you are grieving, help another who is also grieving If you are sick, reach out to people who are also sick and encourage them If you are broken, in your pain, lend your ears to listen to another and your arms to hold them Not in a way where you repress your pain in order to make others happy, no but give in spite of it, through it. And through the storm, yet i will praise you In spite it all, yet i will sing Through good or bad, yet i will worship You remain the same, King of Kings You are the voice of hope, the anchor to my soul where there seems to be no way, you make it possible you are the prince of peace, amidst adversity my lips will shout for joy, to you the most high Lara Martin, alc This is my experience in giving, what is yours?

Worrying is perfectly normal when there is due cause and i have found the best way to deal with it, is to take action. If you have taken all the action (faith backed up with action) you can and you are still worried about a situation, then you just have to tell yourself that you've done all you can, to the best of your ability and that if the outcome is negative, you will get through it. This works for me but then, i'm not really one of life's worriers. I can imagine it's hard to break a pattern of responding to a situation with worry though. I'm not prone to being neurotic either, though i do have a friend that is. He worries about events without due cause and eventually they send him into a frenzy unless he intervienes with truth. I think God is able to make it clear to us, when we have sinned against him.

You can also get free mps audio bible from firefighters.org if you don't yet have an ipod but do have an mp3 player. I wasn't aware of the ipod one, so thank you, will be checking it out.