boodle

ok im pretty sure im gonna get grilled for this but here goes. we all know the famous saying "is better to of loved and lost then never to of loved at all". i gotta say chaps......... forget that, its better to of never loved at all and i cant stress that enuff. love is giving someone the power to completly destroy you but trusting them not to, and we cant trust anyone but God. no two people in a relationship love each other exactly the same, one will always love more. though i agree with what opulus is saying and it was very beautifull (opulus please dont think im trying to argue) i also go by what i see, whats right in front of my eyes is what i belive is real. my daughter i love, God i love, this type of love is unwaivering and is forever that much is true. i can love my spouse but not be IN love with my spouse, (i hope people know what i mean by that) that kind of love (the fairytale kind) i belive is not an emotion, it is a sickness, so i do belive in it i just dont think its a good thing. you can probably tell that i've been in love before as i sound quite bitter but i've paid the price for it and i've learnt. what i guess im trying to say is that going by what i've seen, women are by no means the weaker vessel, they are stronger and more powerfull then we'll ever know. adam went weak for eve, samson went weak for delilah. we men are not too good with emotional pain so you kick me in the crotch and it will hurt, you cut off my fingers and it will hurt, poke out my eyes and will hurt..............but you break my heart and im K.Od and on the ground, and i am not gonna get back up. i know this is very negative but i promise this is about the only topic im negative about, so my appologies to anyone this may offend

i actually thought of this question too. i have five big tattoos but the largest is of archangel micheal as he is one of my heros with my daughters name underneath it. But i did start thinkin recently that by getting a tattoo you are altering the body that God gave you so i dunno, and they're not exactly subtle either i.e on my neck and the one on my wrist goes down to my knuckles so thats why i've started being worried about what i've done to myself. i will agree with what someone else said on here (sorry i cant remember your name) in that i do think we do it to show off or to get noticed, i mean after all, why else would we do it? ok SOME we get for meaning to ourselves but they always seem to be the ones we cover up. but hey, i only speak for myself here chaps. anyway regardless to what i've just said, i think tattoos are beautifull and i think that people with tattoos are beautifull too so i guess the wanting to be noticed thing works. so we like to have a bit of art to us, so we want to brighten ourselves up a bit, so we like to feel good about how we look, i think we're allowed, its just decoration. Ben

its right that we're not supposed to feel happy all the time and that we all have our depressed days coz thats life, but to feel depressed, anxious and paranoid every day for no other reason then by standing in the frozen food section in the supermarket or by watching daylight come through your window or for absolutely no reason at all then there is somthing wrong and thats what the illness is. its a chemical inbalance, it doesnt just get triggered by certain things or events, you just wake up and want to die, eat lunch and want to die, go to bed wanting to die and when you're asleep you dream of dying. it is all in our heads and the trick is to master our own minds by not thinking too much, which is hard coz if i was to tell you not to think of a pink elephant, what you gonna do? i used to describe it as trying to runaway from my own head but no matter where i ran to it was still there attached to my shoulders. it felt like my whole life was wrapped around me so tight that i couldnt even breathe. trust me counciling or therapy does help you just have to be brave enough to talk about stuff you dont wanna talk about which really scary

that was my point

yes i agree, its actually jobs story that keeps me going Ben

intresting topic for me coz i can be quite an angry person although not so much anymore but i've always thought that god gave us the emotion of anger to let ourselves know when we're hurting therefore giving us the right for whatever reason to express it, however silly it may be, but then in contradiction to what i've just said i also believe what you guys have just said about how a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. so im a bit iffy on this one Ben

i would have thought (and i could be wrong) that they believe in evolution coz its its easier or atleast more plausible to beleive in nature then it is to beleive in god. for e.g i have a friend who doesnt believe in god and we were talkin about the dinosaurs and his response was "hang on you're askin me to not beleive in things that we have actually physicaly found underground but to believe that a single powerfull being created the entire universe" lol i was like "umm yeah" so i can see his point but what should really matter is what YOU believe as we cant answer for anyone but ourselves. i have my faith and it will not waver. Ben

it took me a long time to learn how to love and finally it happened, WHEN it happened it was too intense, SO intense that i decided that love was not an emotion it was a sickness. i hope i never feel that way again, i love my daughter and i love god and im fine with that. as for whether or not i've ever felt loved, believe me lol i do now. Ben

i have a mental illness too, i was diagnosed with "stressfull paranoia with depression and borderline personality disorder" and i often felt that god had turned his back on me too as i have seen, experienced and done terrible things that i beleive noone should ever have to. i beleived that the devil was out to get me and he was everywhere that i went and actually still beleive that now. the more i slipped away the more life left me and people would even say how over the years my eyes had turned from green to black and from happy to angry like i was being consumed by something. my very appearance physicaly went from full of life to something that looked like it just crawled out of hell. i hated everyone the whole world infact, i never let anyone in, never spoke of my feelings and kept everything (thoughts, feelings etc) to myself as i thought its noone elses business and the less people know about me the less they can hurt me. im forever living in the past, never able to forget and would hold a grudge for ever. i.ve done some terrible things that im not proud of but however im not sorry for them because i've learnt from them, i am however sorry to god about some of the things i've done as im sure hes dissapointed in me for listening to the devil and giving into him, BUT, if i was to let these things keep me down and weakened then i felt that (ok with the devils help) the only person that was hurting me was me and realized that being a beast and being bad was easier then being good as it SEEMED to hurt less, its like a form of giving up, like when things in life got me down then instead of letting them knock me back a few steps i found it easier to just let go and fall back to rock bottom. i make sure i remember that god gave me my own pair of shoulders and that i need to use them if i was to fight my way out of this dark, cold place and i did and now people are saying how color is back in me as if i glow, im putting on weight and doing well for myself. i'd be lying if i said im fully recovered but then some wounds will never heal and the ones that do, still leave a scar. i managed to accomplish this by putting all my faith in god once again. the key words there were "once again". what im trying to say is that god never turned his back on me, it was me that turned my back on god. never again. Ben