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13 And if a woman has an unbelieving husband, and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him go. The believing brother or sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace.… It seems like I have read this chapter 100 times. It is difficult for Paul's teaching to sink in. This has to do with divorce and remarriage. I had a priest in the episcopal church advise my first wife to divorce me. Within 6 months he ended up getting a divorce and within a year he died from aids. This had an impact on me. I am still here almost 40 years later, telling people that God hates divorce. The episcopal priest is not alive to tell them otherwise. In this passage, Paul is talking about our children being clean and unclean. My son from my first marriage got an associate degree in electronic engineering, but did not get a 4-year degree because he dropped out of school to party and take drugs. My son from my second marriage is drug free, does not drink or smoke, and he has a four-year degree in computer engineering. He has a good job and makes real good money. Peter tells us that Paul's "letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction". My son tells me that if parents stay married, there is a 90% chance their children will be successful. Do we even know what unclean vs holy even means. Does any of us know what Paul is talking about. If we do, is anyone listening. I had no choice in my divorce. Even though my second son tells me he would not have been born if I was not divorced from my first wife. We are told: "All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. So God can work it all out for us.

source: marriagedivorce.com/article.html TWO BASIC ETHICAL QUESTIONS ASKED BY CHRISTIANS In discussing the subject of divorce, Christians find themselves asking two important questions: 1. Is a Christian ever justified in seeking divorce? 2. Once divorced, may a Christian re-marry? In an attempt to answer these important questions, we submit the following: The Three Main Schools of thought amongst Christians on the subject of Divorce and ReMarriage are: Position 1 If one of the partners in the marriage bond is guilty of adultery then on the authority of Matthew 5:31,32 and Matthew 19:1-9, the innocent party has Scriptural grounds for divorce and subsequent remarriage. However, if the guilty party repents and seeks forgiveness, then forgiveness should be extended, and every endeavor should be made to re-build the marriage relationship. Position 2 If one of the partners in the marriage bond is repeatedly guilty of adultery, and seems to be unrepentant and not willing to change, then forgiveness should be granted but reconciliation is not expected. The innocent party, in this instance, has Scriptural grounds for divorce and remarriage on the authority of Matthew 5:31,32 and Matthew 19:1-9. We at High Calling Ministries NZ hold to the following position: Position 3 If one or both of the partners in the marriage bond are guilty of adultery, this does not give the innocent or guilty parties Scriptural grounds for divorce. Marriage is to be regarded as a binding life-long covenant, which can only be terminated by the death of one of the partners. Contrary to popular opinion, none of the following are Biblical grounds for divorce: * Adultery * Homosexuality * Fornication * Abuse * Unfaithfulness * Alcoholism * Desertion * Prostitution * Cruelty * Insanity * Sodomy Etc…………. The marriage vows made to each other before many witnesses, the minister and God, are binding and hold each other accountable for better for worse, till death do us part. Each partner in this marriage bond is to realize that, as opposed to being a contract which has escape clauses and penalty clauses; marriage is a sacred covenant which binds the couple together with an unbreakable vow made to God. The Exception Clause The references in Matthew 5:31,32 and Matthew 19:1-9, when read in the NIV Bible and many other versions, state that marital unfaithfulness is Biblical grounds for divorce. This is deduced from the clause in the King James and other older versions, where the wording read “except it be for fornication”. The NIV translators considered this to be equivalent to “marital unfaithfulness”, which is not an accurate translation of the original Greek text. The Greek word Porneia means fornication (i.e. pre-marital sexual relationships). The Biblical Hebrew Custom When culturally understood this phrase “except it be for fornication”, refers to the Hebrew custom of courtship/engagement before marriage and allows for breaking the “engagement” in the event of fornication (i.e. pre-marital sexual relationships). This is the position that Joseph and Mary found themselves in, as recorded in Matthew 1:18-20. Joseph was espoused (or engaged) to Mary and before they came together in marriage, she was found to be pregnant. Joseph thus contemplated exercising his legal rights to put his wife away by giving her a bill of divorcement. In the Hebrew customs, she was considered to be his wife during the time of the binding epousal period, even though they had not officially come together in the covenant of marriage. The exception clause is only found in Matthew’s gospel, as this was written primarily to Jewish believers, and is regarded as the Kingdom Gospel. Mark 10:10-12 and Luke 16:18 address the subject of divorce and re-marriage, but do not include the exception clause. The reason for this is that both Mark and Luke were written with more Gentile readership in mind than Matthew’s gospel. In the ancient Greek/Gentile and Modern Western cultures we do not adhere to the 9 to 12 month’s bind espousal period and thus, the gospels of Mark and Luke naturally omit the exception clause, as it is irrelevant. Further Biblical Explanation about Betrothal/Espousal Betrothal/Espousal -Divorce of a betrothed wife. Betrothal among the Jews in Biblical times took place nine to twelve months before marriage. The bride being in all respects bound as a wife, she could be freed only by death or divorce, under the same divorce laws as the married woman. During the espousal period of between nine to twelve months before the marriage proper took place, the woman who was betrothed or espoused was regarded as the man’s wife, and he as her husband, even though they had not sexually come together or made their marriage vows. Deuteronomy 22:23 (Sleeping with a betrothed/espoused damsel was regarded as with sleeping with another man’s wife). Matthew 1: 18-21 (Mary was only betrothed/espoused to Joseph when she was found pregnant. They were not properly married and thus, according to Hebrew custom he could put away his espoused wife by giving her a writing of divorcement. Death (not divorce) was the penalty for adultery in Old Testament times. Leviticus 20: 10 (A man committing adultery with another man’s wife must be put to death). Leviticus 18: 20 (Adultery defiles a man and makes him ritually unclean) Deuteronomy 22: 22 (A man and a woman committing adultery: both must die)

TWO CAMPS In the christian church, there are two camps . One camp: the liberal believes that the first time the couple comes together, that’s when they committed an act of adultery by remarrying. This view is supported by the Westminster confession of faith (the Majority view). The other camp: the conservative believes that there is a permanent state of adultery by remarrying. I prefer the liberal camp. WHY THE BIBLE IS ALMOST SILENT ON THIS SUBJECT Scripture abounds with God’s original intention in marriage. . A marriage covenant is a bond: two people bonding together or cleaving to one another like super clue to be loyal in love and faithfulness till deaths do us apart. The scripture permits divorce because of hardness of heart for the protection of the innocent party. Hardness of heart would include domestic violence; desertion, abuse of verbal divorce. In the community of faith, there are consequences for having hardness of heart. Your prayers are hindered, (1Peter 3:7, Malachi 2:13-15). In Malachi, they were divorcing their wife’s for the younger pagan women and the LORD refused to accept their offering because YOU have dealt treacherously with the wife of your covenant. The scripture is almost silent on the subject of divorce and remarriage without committing adultery. There is only 2 isolated exception scripture in the NT. These scripture are the subject of great debate in the Christian church. Why is the scripture silent? I believe it’s because God is seeking for a Godly offspring for the dominion mandate. The dominion mandate that God gave to Adam and Eve in Genesis1, cannot be fulfilled without the divine order of loving God with all your heart and loving your spouse as Christ love the Church .God wants us to contend for the marriage covenant. The covenant is bigger than your dull emotions. The marriage covenant is bigger than adultery. Love can be ignited again (the War room movie). We have to learn to love like Hosea loves Gomer. Under the definition of the Hebrew word covenant love-“Hesed”, adultery is not a ground for divorce and remarriage. Here is a love that sobs for the one it loves and longs to be reconciled back. Here is a love that knows no end to forgiveness. Here is a love that suffers long and is kind, that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things. Here is a love that never fails. Psalm 127:5- a godly marriage is so crucial for the raising up of godly children. When you have a godly marriage and are raising up godly children, then your children will be able to contend with the enemies at the gate. Taking the gate of a city is equivalent to taking a whole nation and turning it to righteousness. There is no ability to contend with the enemy at the gate when your marriage is in a mess. Leviticus 21:8 the high priest was forbidden to take a divorced woman as his wife. Ezekiel 44:22 the sons of Zadok were forbidden to take a divorced woman as his wife. It has to do with the dominion mandate. Those who minister to the LORD within the veil and in the inner sanctuary had to keep a higher standard of purity. The LORD is seeking for purity, for a goodly seed for the dominion mandate.