pokemaughan Posted May 21, 2009 Group: Senior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 74 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 630 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/19/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/09/1990 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 After it really hit her that this could be it, she called me. She was crying and desperate. She said that since I've been here she's really tried to change (I moved in with her parents 2 months ago... the incident with the guy was 3 days before I got here), and that because I've been here helping her she's been growing. I agree with her, though its been slow. She's sorry. I know that much. Long conversation short, I don't know what to do. Things need to change, yes, that's non-negotiable- but if she really is trying to change... if she really knows that the things she has done are terrible and has prayed and prayed about it... if she's growing now, especially with my help... What should I do? I want to save us. Of course I want to save us. But I don't know for sure. She needs to -give up Furcadia (the online chat game she plays quite often... ungodly people abound there) -get in the habit of reading her Bible on a regular basis -listen to me, rather than argue -do her best to be respectful... something she struggles with What do I do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believer1997 Posted May 21, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 6,363 Content Per Day: 1.12 Reputation: 119 Days Won: 9 Joined: 11/07/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted May 21, 2009 After it really hit her that this could be it, she called me. She was crying and desperate. She said that since I've been here she's really tried to change (I moved in with her parents 2 months ago... the incident with the guy was 3 days before I got here), and that because I've been here helping her she's been growing. I agree with her, though its been slow. She's sorry. I know that much. Long conversation short, I don't know what to do. Things need to change, yes, that's non-negotiable- but if she really is trying to change... if she really knows that the things she has done are terrible and has prayed and prayed about it... if she's growing now, especially with my help... What should I do? I want to save us. Of course I want to save us. But I don't know for sure. She needs to -give up Furcadia (the online chat game she plays quite often... ungodly people abound there) -get in the habit of reading her Bible on a regular basis -listen to me, rather than argue -do her best to be respectful... something she struggles with What do I do Let me get this straight - you expect a woman to listen to you and not argue and be 'respectful'? I listen to my husband and he listens to me...we discuss how to best work together for God and each other. I have a great deal of respect for him and he for me.... I didn't demand it and neither did he - we each earned the respect of the other. Poke... she is not a child and you cannot simply lay down rules and expect her to follow them and to change her habits. I really think that each of you has an obsession with the other that is born of immaturity. Perhaps you two need to take a break from each other and re-evaluate your futures. Pray about this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemaughan Posted May 22, 2009 Group: Senior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 74 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 630 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/19/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/09/1990 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Let me get this straight - you expect a woman to listen to you and not argue and be 'respectful'? I listen to my husband and he listens to me...we discuss how to best work together for God and each other. I have a great deal of respect for him and he for me.... I didn't demand it and neither did he - we each earned the respect of the other. Poke... she is not a child and you cannot simply lay down rules and expect her to follow them and to change her habits. I really think that each of you has an obsession with the other that is born of immaturity. Perhaps you two need to take a break from each other and re-evaluate your futures. Pray about this! Thanks for your constant wisdom and advice, Believer. I love ya lots. Sara and I decided to just push on. She has changed in these two months I've been here... but I've been too focused on the old Sara to notice. I've got a lot of faith in her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blien Posted May 22, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 346 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 3,050 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 46 Days Won: 3 Joined: 10/02/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/26/1982 Share Posted May 22, 2009 Bro, I know you love this girl but your just going to end up hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemaughan Posted May 22, 2009 Group: Senior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 74 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 630 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/19/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/09/1990 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Bro, I know you love this girl but your just going to end up hurt. I know this little blip in our relationship paints a big picture. But I also know that I know her unlike anyone else- I can see things in her that you guys simply can't because you haven't spent almost 4 years with her. I'm keeping my eyes out- but this is stuff that happened before she 'got into gear' and started changing. I've really helped her recently. If the trend continues, I have nothing to fear. But if it doesn't, I know where the door is. Thanks bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgedrw81 Posted May 22, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,823 Content Per Day: 0.33 Reputation: 36 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/10/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted May 22, 2009 One should cear their mind first in what they want with a partner.Breaking from the past is not easy and not allways possible for some. You are on a path that does not going anywhere - looking at her posting on the online game then texting her etcetc.You need to make some decisions for yourself of what you must do.Blien took that decision and so must you.It is not easy and can be painful. Pray to God and Jesus to guide you and free yourself from this. Thank you God and Jesus for guiding pokemaughan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemaughan Posted May 22, 2009 Group: Senior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 74 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 630 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/19/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/09/1990 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 Tonight I had her promise me two things: To take this day and learn from it; grow from it and get as far away from it as possible. Honor, follow, and obey God for Christ's sake. Please pray for us Worthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trusting Jesus Posted May 22, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 66 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,050 Content Per Day: 0.34 Reputation: 22 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/12/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/09/1952 Share Posted May 22, 2009 I wonder if it might be a good idea for both of you to do a study of the role of the man and the role of the woman in marriage. You want her to read her Bible more, so why not study this subject together. <>< ><> Nathele Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pokemaughan Posted May 22, 2009 Group: Senior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 74 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 630 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/19/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/09/1990 Author Share Posted May 22, 2009 I wonder if it might be a good idea for both of you to do a study of the role of the man and the role of the woman in marriage. You want her to read her Bible more, so why not study this subject together. <>< ><> Nathele Good idea. Thanks Nat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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