In love or in lust?

[sunnier]

I'd say it's lust not love. Love only comes with time and a relationship. Keep praying don't let your guard down.

[Bold Believer]

Hello All

I compromised with a brother from church ...we were not even dating ...well we have put a stop to it .....(only through fasting and renewing covenant with God has broken the yoke) but i still often think about him??? I pray for him ..he does not come to the same church anymore but im and i are connected because his mom is my best friend ...I have avoided going to her house to not see him......it makes me nervous when i think i might be going over to her house cause i know he'll prob. be there .....what the heck is wrong with me ????????lol help

Have you given us the whole story? You wrote that you 'compromised'. What a pretty word. I'm going to step out on a limb here and presume that you mean you fornicated. If not, feel free to correct me.

Are you married? Is HE married? Provided that neither of you were married at the time, congratulations...because you are now. In Scripture, sexual relations between two people is considered marriage, as I understand it. This explains why you think of him. You're bound together by the act of intimacy. Personally, I think you need to talk to this man and his family and a pastor. The pastor can legitimize your union, provided that it's within the boundaries of marriage.

[Isaiah 6:8]

If what you did was out of a selfish desire it is Lust.

Love is 1 Cor 13. If you truly love him you will want the Lords best for them, Even if that is not you. Also if you slept with him you have created a tie that is hard to break, and easily confused with Love!

[Fez]

If her eyes are the window, I have fallen into her soul. And it is good.

If her hands in mine can lift my soul, I am floating. And it is good.

If her voice is music, I worship at the sound. And it is good.

If her laughter is joy, I rejoice. And it is good.

If her prayers are for me, I am blessed. And it is good.

If her tears break my heart, and mine follow. It is good.

Was it like that? If not run........because it is something else. And it is not good.

Blessings, sort this out now, before it gets any worse.

[DearJudy,OurLord]

Hello All

I compromised with a brother from church ...we were not even dating ...well we have put a stop to it .....(only through fasting and renewing covenant with God has broken the yoke) but i still often think about him??? I pray for him ..he does not come to the same church anymore but im and i are connected because his mom is my best friend ...I have avoided going to her house to not see him......it makes me nervous when i think i might be going over to her house cause i know he'll prob. be there .....what the heck is wrong with me ????????lol help

Have you given us the whole story? You wrote that you 'compromised'. What a pretty word. I'm going to step out on a limb here and presume that you mean you fornicated. If not, feel free to correct me.

Are you married? Is HE married? Provided that neither of you were married at the time, congratulations...because you are now. In Scripture, sexual relations between two people is considered marriage, as I understand it. This explains why you think of him. You're bound together by the act of intimacy. Personally, I think you need to talk to this man and his family and a pastor. The pastor can legitimize your union, provided that it's within the boundaries of marriage.

where does it say that?

Thank you to all who have replied ....

[B3L13v3R]

Hi Judy,

The fornication you did between this man and yourself is wrong before God as you know. Lust, not love.

Sex was created by God and ONLY meant to be enjoyed within the confinement of marriage.

Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Bold Believer: "...Provided that neither of you were married at the time, congratulations...because you are now..."

God does not see you as married but as a "fornicator". Very close to "adultery" in His eyes. The difference being one has sex outside of marriage, the other has sex when married with another. In the case of adultery though, marriages are destroyed often times.

1Co 6:15-20

(15) Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

(16) What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

(17) But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

(18) Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

(19) What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

(20) For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

: DearJudy,OurLord "...only through fasting and renewing covenant with God has broken the yoke"...

: DearJudy,OurLord "i have repented..."

I am not sure if you meant "repentance" as here. If it was not, your sin of fornication is still before God.

1Jn 2:1-3

(1) My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

(2) And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

(3) And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments.

Rev 2:4-5

(4) Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.

(5) Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.

The word "repent" is two-fold. 1. Being sorry, and asking for forgiveness of sin towards God. 2. In Christ and His strength, turning away from sin and turning back towards God and His righteousness.

After the believer repents:

1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

After confessing your sin, thank God for forgiving you, and cleansing you of the unrighteousness of your "one flesh" with this man.

Our walk with Jesus Christ should be day by day. Love Him every day. Pick up our cross (symbolic of the Christian's death with our Savior) every day. As we continue to grow in Christ, "IF" we should sin, quickly run to Him in repentance and ask for forgiveness. Look to get to "know Him" through prayer and study of the Bible.

Mar 12:30-31

(30) And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

(31) And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Luk 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

1Jn 2:1-3

(1) My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

(2) And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

(3) And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments.

If this sin or any other situation should present itself to you again, God will always give a way of escape. If you ignore His escape route, expect sinful trouble again.

2Ti 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

1Co 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

[DearJudy,OurLord]

Hi Judy,

The fornication you did between this man and yourself is wrong before God as you know. Lust, not love.

Sex was created by God and ONLY meant to be enjoyed within the confinement of marriage.

Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Bold Believer: "...Provided that neither of you were married at the time, congratulations...because you are now..."

God does not see you as married but as a "fornicator". Very close to "adultery" in His eyes. The difference being one has sex outside of marriage, the other has sex when married with another. In the case of adultery though, marriages are destroyed often times.

1Co 6:15-20

(15) Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

(16) What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

(17) But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

(18) Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

(19) What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

(20) For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

: DearJudy,OurLord "...only through fasting and renewing covenant with God has broken the yoke"...

: DearJudy,OurLord "i have repented..."

I am not sure if you meant "repentance" as here. If it was not, your sin of fornication is still before God.

1Jn 2:1-3

(1) My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

(2) And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

(3) And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments.

Rev 2:4-5

(4) Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.

(5) Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.

The word "repent" is two-fold. 1. Being sorry, and asking for forgiveness of sin towards God. 2. In Christ and His strength, turning away from sin and turning back towards God and His righteousness.

After the believer repents:

1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

After confessing your sin, thank God for forgiving you, and cleansing you of the unrighteousness of your "one flesh" with this man.

Our walk with Jesus Christ should be day by day. Love Him every day. Pick up our cross (symbolic of the Christian's death with our Savior) every day. As we continue to grow in Christ, "IF" we should sin, quickly run to Him in repentance and ask for forgiveness. Look to get to "know Him" through prayer and study of the Bible.

Mar 12:30-31

(30) And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

(31) And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Luk 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

1Jn 2:1-3

(1) My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

(2) And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

(3) And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments.

If this sin or any other situation should present itself to you again, God will always give a way of escape. If you ignore His escape route, expect sinful trouble again.

2Ti 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

1Co 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Thanks ....now yes i repented....so i became one flesh with him according to scripture but we ended everything because there was no relationship it was more that we were attracted to each other for a long time...i mean i hoped that would be more serious but there seemed to be obstacles 1. his age (19) 2. his mom (my good friend like a mom to me) 3. i didn't know if he is who God wants me to be with till death ....so again its over in that we will not fornicate and he doesn't call me or I him ...

[Fez]

Bless you for your honesty. You sinned yes, (don't we all), and there is no grading for sin, so we should not, cannot, judge.

I think it would be a good idea, as hard as it may be, to get this out in the open. Secrets have a way of coming out eventually.

Blessings

[DearJudy,OurLord]

Hey guys

I thank God for all of you cause all def had a part in my boldness..

so i told his mom ..it was the hardest thing that i ever had to come clean about .....but i did it Thank God

she was sad about it ..he freaked out ...i was scared but now him and i are free.....not only of this sin that kept us connected....but to see if he is the one ...weather we end up together or not ..i know that i did what i had to do in order that he knows Jesus still lives ....and i didn't do it alone

we are one church

thanks again to all of you

GBU

[mulling]

hello'

My heart goes out to your situation. I too had been in such a relationship years ago and have been blessed by Gods forgiveness and understanding of what transpired, and am now in the position to render you advice to you searchfor answeres. I hope by what I say it will help you along your path to finish the race.

The word of God instructs us to look at all our inner longings for a partner to the image of what the Church is, and what it is suppose to represent if it is following his advice. We need to see the order of Gods plan of accountability to understand the foundation on which any relationship is established.

1) God : is the head: All authority is established in and through God for our protection, from the conciquences of willful sin and rebellion

2) Jesus: Is the head of the church, which is the( true) body of Christ . He is our intersesor before God. Through his sacrifice, we are now restored to a right standing with God.

3. The Holy spirit : is our reminder of when we violate Gods will for our lives. He is our advisor to the words of God in there interpretation, as well as their application to everyday situations .

4.) Man: is the head of all creation on earth, as well as the head of the women.

5.) Women: is the head of the children

Each position of authority carries a covering for the other. When one does not fullfil its roll, the others will suffer the consiquences to the nature of its purpose.

Now this gets to the heart of the issue concerning your question. The trinity is in unity with itself because of its collective purpose. The father,Son and Holy Spirit work together without conflict of intrest because of their goal, "if you were" is to bring all creation into unity to the will of Gods heart. And that is for all of creation to willfully choose to love him.This unfailing love and aderation to see God exaulted abouve all his creation is instilled in our very created nature. When man chooses to overide this impulse especially as a Christian then the only thing left is to think only about ourselves and our own gratifications. And when we choose this line of thought we fall under the curse of "REBELLION". It happened in the heaven with the Angels and is happening here since the garden. When man was given the choice to protect that which God gave him dominion over he rejected it by his rebellion and thus took the covering and prtection over the weaker vessel, Which was his helpmate,Eve". You see man is suppose to be the provider and protector of his helpmate, not to disregaurd or take advantage of his authority and position. When we as men don't honour our bodies before the Lord with purity and not abstain from putting a women in the position to submit out of our own lusts then we put her under the curse of our own rebellion as the head and covering of the women.That is where we as the Church have failed miserably before God. The scriptures are clear of the roll we are to have as men. A man does not love a women outside the boundries of Gods will. Let me explain: The lord says" husbands are to love their wives as Christ Loves the Church and gave himself up for her to make her Holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without spot or wrinkle or any other blemish, but wholy and blamless".( Eph. 5:22-27)

Now does he love you under this protection and do you feel wholy before the Lord or did you feel guilty because you knew in your heart it was wrong? I would advise you to look for the qualities in a man who will present you before God as a man who is in love with God and then you will respect the gift God has given you through him, Because the one thing the enemy came to rob from us was a clear conscience before God. Until this man matures to understand his posiyion and role on this earth you both will end up living in guilt . And that is a hard thing to come clean on. But here is the hope in all situations, love God with all your heart , mind, soul, and strength and you will love your neighbor as yourself.

In Christ love

Mulling