Why do people form cliques?

[Guest kitkat]

How true John

And Kat thanks for posting this thread. Interesting enough I really had to pray on this one. I think sometimes people want to feel like they are part of the elite of any group they join.

My daughter competed in gymnastics nationally. She received a scholarship for college. She was always treated differently. As her mom I was accused of not socializing with all the parents. It cracks me up all I did was drive her to practice; leave to take care of her brothers and pick her up. At the meets the tension is so thick; and most of the time during her jr elite days I couldn't afford to follow her; she traveled nationally.

Angie also suffered being stalked by a photographer. She wanted to be just part of her student body after all was done. He college coaches were great in protecting her, as well as, the campus police.

This brought back memories of hard days

Love

Kay

Kay, I'm sorry to hear that happened to your daughter, but I'm glad everything turned out alright. Maybe those parents that wanted you to join their group and were not understanding in your reasons for not joining, were the type of people who only wanted your participation to reinforce their position as leaders of the group. That's just a possible speculation on my part.

Your daughter sounds like a real champion to me in more ways than one and it's so unfortunate that she was stalked. As far as champions go, I think you are one as well, for helping your daughter and seeing to it that she was successful in the face of adversity among those people.

God bless you Kay!!!

(((HUGS)))

:hug:

[Guest kitkat]

Wouldn't you say that this kind of behavior within a clique isn't Christian-like? I say it's not Christian-like at all.

What do you think?

Kat

KitKat: Maybe we're the only two on the planet...I dunno...but I'm with you. I hate them. I think they're hurtful and I see them all the time at churches and my husband and I inevitiably leave churches because we feel excluded because of the "group" mentality.

I know all the excuses for them but they just make many people feel like out outcasts.

I totally agree with you Cats. I think there are a lot of people who agree with both of us on this one.

God Bless,

Kat

[Guest dollface]

I had heard satan uses your weaknesses, he knows the things from your past that will hurt you.If you remember the things that effected you the most (neg)in your life, that is what he uses.He knows what has bothered you the most in the past.

In my life it was my desire as a child to have a home.And when I was older he took it away. Then he tried it again with my son. knowing I would help him and exhaust myself, then on top of that he tried rejection, He almost won till I found out his dirty little secrets.He is in the process now of trying to manipulate my mind with family clique, making me look foolish to everyone because i have put all my trust in JESUS. He has used the GOOD things we have done for others against usWhat the devil does for evil GOD will turn around for our good.

As I look back now I see the pattern he has used.

what can I do to make her sweat. :sweating:

Now that I am aware of it, I try spiritual warfare on him.

He works on my feelings of rejection.

I praise JESUS. I sing praise songs, talk in toungs and repeat the 91 psalm.

Look at the things in your life that are repeated over and over see if the things that bother you the most are repeated.Does he attack you with the same things?

could be a dirty little plot he uses with the people in the clique. He is sneaky watch out for him....look for repeated problems in your life.

[Guest kitkat]

I heard a preacher say once that a person in a clique will never move outside the walls of their clique, they will not go against each other making it impossible for them to please God and be obediant to Him alone. They will always please one another.

And anything in disobedience to God is wrong. I agree jamie. That preacher was right. We either have our focus on pleasing man or pleasing God and in a clique, it is almost impossible to do both.

God bless,

Kat

[Guest kitkat]

If you search for clique on Britannia on-line this is what comes up. It is under the heading BEAURACRACY

Professional corps of officials organized in a pyramidal hierarchy and functioning under impersonal, uniform rules and procedures.

Its characteristics were first formulated systematically by Max Weber, who saw in the bureaucratic organization a highly developed division of labour, authority based on administrative rules rather than personal allegiance or social custom, and a “rational” and impersonal institution whose members function more as “offices” than as individuals. For Weber, bureaucracy was a form of legalistic “domination” inevitable under capitalism . Later writers saw in bureaucracy a tendency to concentrate power at the top and become dictatorial , as occurred in the Soviet Union. Robert K. Merton emphasized its red tape and inefficiency due to blind conformity to procedures. More recent theories have stressed the role of managerial cliques , occupational interest groups, or individual power-seekers in creating politicized organizations characterized by internal conflict.

Just thought this was interesting. Sort of wraps up what the purpose of cliques are to me.

That's an interesting read Karen. Thankyou!

God Bless,

Kat

[Guest kitkat]

Due to a tremendous need to feel wanted, people in general tend to drift into any group or organization that makes them feel welcome and accepted. Almost no one will remain around any crowd when they feel unwanted. The need to feel wanted is sometimes so great that people will join groups such as Heaven's Gate and actually allow themselves to die, just to fit in.

Untold numbers of people flee Christianity every week because they feel unwanted or out of place in their church, and when they are met with the open and welcome arms of another religion or ideology (composed of equally shunned individuals who 'feel their pain'), the people will gladly accept the new group and then defend it to the very end. We humans are not as 'brain smart' as we try to convince ourselves to be, we are still ruled by emotions and instincts (both genetic and learned).

Cliques however appear to be a little different in their manner of not finding a group to belong to, but rather creating their own, basing their unspoken social order on what appears to be like a family bonding but frequently more intense. Since I am not a member of a clique (aside from the possible definition that a family is a clique), I cannot say with conviction what might drive people to form one, but it appears to me that they are formed perhaps due to a duality of impulses, that of needing to feel wanted as well as finding a common shared interest amongst the group. As with all else in Creation, the more ingredients added to a mixture, the more strongly 'flavored' and unique is the creation.

Teenagers who are into computers or any form of technology are often called "geeks", and they have their little cliques, but at the same time they are open to new members who share the same interests, and their cliques remain small mainly due to so few people caring to fit in with the 'geek look'. Of the unfavorable cliques I perceive are mainly be discussed here, their shared interests are usually based not upon technology or ideology, but rather only on bad manners. The sole life of the clique is to remain small and attempt to 'prove' their superiority by claiming everyone else of inferiority.

In the physical laws of Creation, like things oppose, but in the spiritual laws, like things attract. Displeasing cliques appear to be formed upon the attraction of displeasing spiritual values. Whatsoever the creation be, it is the foundation that marks the final aroma.

What a great post John! And I apologize for being so late about answering you.

I agree with everything in your post and I can relate to the part where you indicated about how people flee from Christianity because they feel unwanted in their church.

For instance, someone I know was sucked in by a different religion at a weak point in her life. She had cancer and she felt like she wasn't accepted within the church she had been attending. She was persuaded to join the Mormon Church and all it took was somebody from the Mormon Church to come knocking on her door and offering her friendship, support, help and everything she needed at that time in her life. It was really the worst thing that could have happened to her, because she didn't know what she was getting into when she joined the Mormon Church at all, until later on down the road. Had she been accepted or been made to feel accepted in the church she was attending, she probably never would have gotten involved with that church or looked elsewhere for a church home.

Thanks for your great insight here. I enjoyed reading all of it.

God bless

Kat

[BoldlyProclaimingChrist]

High school:

In high school I wasn't a "burnout", I wasn't a "preppy", or a "jock" or promqueen.

I was in marching band but I wasn't even considered a "band geek". I was in the tutoring club but I wasn't even considered a "regular geek".

I thought something was wrong with me because I didn't fit into any group. I had lots of friends but they were an eclectic group- nondescript people that didn't have any "qualifications" for your friendship. I was insecure about myself in a lot of ways until age 17.

I realized that it's ok to be yourself, to dress the way you like, to do what you like doing, to THINK your own thoughts and not be lead by others. Once I realized who I really was, for the first time in my life I was happy and secure within myself and I didn't need other people to reinforce it.

In the work force;

There were the "yes" men who always seemed to congregate together, the immodest women, the people who would claw their way to the top, even the people at the water cooler were all the same. The clicks continue.

Here at WorthyBoards:

We have the super-spiritual people, the chronic illness people, the super theologians, the needy/weak people, the backbiters, the people who constantly stirr up strife, the people who take EVERYTHING the wrong way, the people who are mean spirited but hide behind 'righteous anger', the people pleasers (and that means pleasing everyone), and the so called "prophets". All of these people seem to keep within their own circles as well.

While I do admit that I have my faults and problems, I can honestly say that I still do not fit into any one of these groups, 20 years later, nor do I want any part of them. I'm not concerned if someone dislikes me for whatever reason, ignores me, holds grudges etc. because I know who I am and I know who they are. Some people have a need to be a part of something, to be accepted, to be liked and they will accomplish that at any cost. Even if they hurt someone and yes this means Christians too. I have no special criteria for friendship other than be real, be honest, and be yourself.

[Guest LCPGUY]

High school:

In high school I wasn't a "burnout", I wasn't a "preppy", or a "jock" or promqueen.

I was in marching band but I wasn't even considered a "band geek". I was in the tutoring club but I wasn't even considered a "regular geek".

I thought something was wrong with me because I didn't fit into any group. I had lots of friends but they were an eclectic group- nondescript people that didn't have any "qualifications" for your friendship. I was insecure about myself in a lot of ways until age 17.

I realized that it's ok to be yourself, to dress the way you like, to do what you like doing, to THINK your own thoughts and not be lead by others. Once I realized who I really was, for the first time in my life I was happy and secure within myself and I didn't need other people to reinforce it.

In the work force;

There were the "yes" men who always seemed to congregate together, the immodest women, the people who would claw their way to the top, even the people at the water cooler were all the same. The clicks continue.

Here at WorthyBoards:

We have the super-spiritual people, the chronic illness people, the super theologians, the needy/weak people, the backbiters, the people who constantly stirr up strife, the people who take EVERYTHING the wrong way, the people who are mean spirited but hide behind 'righteous anger', the people pleasers (and that means pleasing everyone), and the so called "prophets". All of these people seem to keep within their own circles as well.

While I do admit that I have my faults and problems, I can honestly say that I still do not fit into any one of these groups, 20 years later, nor do I want any part of them. I'm not concerned if someone dislikes me for whatever reason, ignores me, holds grudges etc. because I know who I am and I know who they are. Some people have a need to be a part of something, to be accepted, to be liked and they will accomplish that at any cost. Even if they hurt someone and yes this means Christians too. I have no special criteria for friendship other than be real, be honest, and be yourself.

Whoa there Carol. How could you say that???

You did it again. You spoke the truth! And for that I admire you and love you!!! We need more people here, speaking the TRUTH like you do.

What you said was so true. I wanted to say something like that, but just don

[stevehut]

I am willing to believe that many cliques are not established with the intention of excluding others. But that generally is the result.

[Guest glorytothelord]

I couldn't agree more with the last post. When I was in high school, not attending a regular church at that time, there was a group - including one of my cousins - who were the "popular ones" ie a clique.

I also thought there was something wrong with me, but, as I told my oldest daughter years later, I found they weren't worth knowing BUT IT HURTS so much.

She also had the same experience and found her true friends at church.

Glory