We must forgive ourselves.

[veegal]

This thread has brought back something to me which I would like to share.

A few years ago I was struggling spiritually, I won't go into the minute details here but I was concerned that I had made a decision in my life without waiting for God's approval on it. This really bugged me and I was wondering whether there was anything else I could have done at the time and whether what I had done was 'forgiveable'. Even though I knew that God forgives everything when we come to him and repent, the words spoken to me by other 'christians' had placed doubt in my mind. They kept on condeming me and judging my decision. See I had asked God for forgiveness but I couldn't forgive myself so I kept on asking God to forgive me for the same thing.

One night, as I was praying and once again asking for forgiveness for the same thing, I clearly heard God say to me....."Why do you keep bringing things up which I have already forgotten about? You have already been forgiven and it has been forgotten.' Later that same night I was reading a Joyce Meyer book and lo and behold there on the third page she mentioned....stop reminding God about things which He has already forgotten about'. We need to acknowledge that God DOES forgive us and then we need to learn to forgive ourselves and stop dwelling on the past.

Isaiah 43:25:

[Fez]

Not all that people have done can be undone by apologies ... people have passed and others can not be found. The best thing to do is meditate on his word when these thought come up. At least, that is what I do. If God wanted us to forget, all He would have to do is remove the memory. He has His reasons for them to still be there. I believe it si to remind us where we came from, so we won't forget and return.

What if the person you wronged long ago is able to be contacted and apology given or reparation made.Would you consider this a good thing to do?

Always. Making amends is always a good thing to do. Plus, if the person sees Christ in you, that may be the only time someone would have the opportunity to meet Him personally! Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in these matters first before you do anything.

Thank-you.

A week after I was saved, I took a trip. I drove nearly 600 km in the province where I live over a period of three days. I visited every person I had issues with, had never got along with, or had fights with. I met them one on one, and apologized for my past behavior with them. The response was stunning. Initial shock, and then an almost eager acceptance to start anew. Which in 99% of the cases has happened. The first one or two were difficult, but it became so much easier as I progressed.

Most people want peace and harmony in relationships, but sometimes we are too proud or fearfull not initiate the process.

[jessy73]

We don

[~candice~]

Randal, we are to have the same mind as God. To be conformed into the image of His Son. I think it is a good desire to bring our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves into line with God's thoughts about us.

1 Cor 2

¹⁵The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment:

¹⁶"For who has known the mind of the Lord

that he may instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ.

Ro 8

²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 3

And this is what God thinks of our past sins:

1 John 1

⁹If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

[nebula]

I really don't see anything about forgiving myself.

Colossians 3:13 - bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone ; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

Are you fulfilling this verse if you hold unforgiveness towards yourself?

ps. In reviewing, it sure is evident I still do not know how to use the "multi-quote" thing. I'll do better next time.

Hit the "Multiple Quote" button in each post you wish to respond to, and then hit the "Add Reply" button at the bottom.

[Guest LadyC]

treetop, i do believe you can't see the forest for the trees here.

if you're beating yourself up and refusing to forgive yourself, then how the heck do you think you can focus on Jesus and His grace?

did you even read any of what i said in my previous posts? if you're not accepting the grace in which you now stand (romans 5) then you're giving the devil power over your life, and giving him glory, instead of focusing on Jesus and the sacrifice he made for you.

and as someone else so aptly put it, if God forgives you and you don't, then you're saying Christ's sacrifice wasn't enough.

in that scripture that fresno joe posted that says "forgetting what is behind", that means you no longer dwell on it. you no longer think about it, talk about it, beat yourself up over it. it's done and over with, forgive yourself and move forward in your walk with Christ instead of lingering back there in the guilt of your mistake.

i'm really sorry if i'm sounding exasperated, but i honestly don't understand what is so difficult to understand! as you study your bible and draw closer to your Lord and Saviour, hopefully it will become obvious to you that hanging on to your own unforgiveness of yourself is totally against the nature of God. it is self-serving, when what you want to be is Christ-serving.

why are you so insistant on not wanting to forgive yourself, anyway?

[oldzimm]

Dear Brother Treetop;

I do not know what your past is and it don't matter, when you repented of your past sins, God has forgiven you. Your sins of the past is nothing more then bad water over the dam, forgive yourself of the sins of the past and just let that bad water go. Let the Holy Spirit take you to new heights that you never have been before, let God's love flow around you and you will feel so much anew.

Blessings, Will Zimmerman

Agua asked this question.

Would you consider it a good thing to make reparations or give apologies for past transgressions that remain in your mind?

If by your actions you have done somebody wrong, yes it would be proper to make reparations and/or give an apology, that would be the Christian and worthy thing to do.

I have more respect for people that admit to their mistakes and make amends, instead of blaming their mistakes on somebody else.

[Guest]

treetop, i do believe you can't see the forest for the trees here.

if you're beating yourself up and refusing to forgive yourself, then how the heck do you think you can focus on Jesus and His grace?

did you even read any of what i said in my previous posts? if you're not accepting the grace in which you now stand (romans 5) then you're giving the devil power over your life, and giving him glory, instead of focusing on Jesus and the sacrifice he made for you.

and as someone else so aptly put it, if God forgives you and you don't, then you're saying Christ's sacrifice wasn't enough.

in that scripture that fresno joe posted that says "forgetting what is behind", that means you no longer dwell on it. you no longer think about it, talk about it, beat yourself up over it. it's done and over with, forgive yourself and move forward in your walk with Christ instead of lingering back there in the guilt of your mistake.

i'm really sorry if i'm sounding exasperated, but i honestly don't understand what is so difficult to understand! as you study your bible and draw closer to your Lord and Saviour, hopefully it will become obvious to you that hanging on to your own unforgiveness of yourself is totally against the nature of God. it is self-serving, when what you want to be is Christ-serving.

why are you so insistant on not wanting to forgive yourself, anyway?

Ok, It is very clear that I am being misunderstood. I am not beating myself up about anything. Please read my last post one more time and you will see that I'm not getting down on myself at all. To answer your last question; I have not found anywhere in God's word where God tells me to forgive myself. To forgive others, yes. That is specifically in the "model" prayer that Jesus gave His disciples. All I am saying is that I'm very reluctant to "forgive myself" on just someone's word. Personally, I don't feel the need to forgive myself of my past sins even if I could, or should. Jesus has already done this. When I see the scriptures that say I am to forgive myself, well, then I will sure have to rethink a lot of things I imagine.

One more thing, I admitt that I have a difficult time putting into words what is going through my heart. Perhaps there is why you so misunderstood what I've been talking about. It's not you. It's me. I am trying my best, but I suppose that there is still much to learn of "communicating." I quit posting in this forum because of this, I felt I just wasn't ready. My thoughts of that have changed, as you can see now.

Do you have any scriptures that speak of this forgiving myself of my past sins?

God bless you,

Randal

[Guest]

I really don't see anything about forgiving myself.

Colossians 3:13 - bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone ; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

Are you fulfilling this verse if you hold unforgiveness towards yourself?

ps. In reviewing, it sure is evident I still do not know how to use the "multi-quote" thing. I'll do better next time.

Hit the "Multiple Quote" button in each post you wish to respond to, and then hit the "Add Reply" button at the bottom.

Hello Nebula,

Before I forget, thank you for the way to use the "Multi-quote" thing. If this were a blueprint, I'm sure I would of done better. But it's not. So a thanks for your patience.

Ok, your question.

I went and read Colossians 3 one more time. Hope you don't mind if I post the scriptures again...starting with verse 12.

12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. colossians 3: 12 - 14

I beleive that I am doing my best at "fullfilling" what is asked in these two verses. And please forgive me, but I do not see anything in these two verses about forgiving myself. I see that Paul is speaking of how I interact with my Brothers and Sisters. And I sure am curious, where do you see that these verses speak of forgiving oneself?

God bless you,

Randal

[nebula]

I beleive that I am doing my best at "fullfilling" what is asked in these two verses. And please forgive me, but I do not see anything in these two verses about forgiving myself. I see that Paul is speaking of how I interact with my Brothers and Sisters. And I sure am curious, where do you see that these verses speak of forgiving oneself?

I come from a background of having a self-hatred problem.

One of the reasons I was hard on myself was because I wasn't loving enough. It wasn't for lack of trying, but for some reason I kept falling short.

But, since humility means you recognize your sinful nature and cry out like Isaiah, "Woe is me!", then I must be right on track. Right?

Well, one insight that made a huge impact on me was this thought: How can I love my neighbor as I love myself if I don't love myself?

Or put another way, if I don't love myself, what does loving my neighbor as I love myself look like? (Pretty dismal, don't you think?)

Another thought was this - if you do not forgive yourself, then there is a child of God walking this earth whom you have not forgiven.

And that's how I relate this verse to the topic at hand.

"Forgive as the Lord forgave you." If the Lord has forgiven you, who are you to not forgive you as well?