Need advice regarding a personal relationship

[brokenGirl]

First of all,

I must apologize for posting a personal problem in this forum. I was not able to put up a new post anywhere else.

Secondly, I was referred here by an email friend of mine called Namritha a.k.a. Gerda Hannah. She told me that this forum gives excellent advice.

My problem is this, I had an affair with a friend of mine. I disobeyed God and started this relationship. We later broke up. I used to pride myself on the fact that I was his best friend and I was more important to him than anybody else. We used to talk everyday. But now I am not able to talk to him everyday and he has found other friends. I am not his best friend, I am just one of his friends. That makes me very very sad. When I asked my friends for advice, they told me that true loves is like 1 Cor. 13. In that verse, it says that love must not be boastful.

1. Was I being boastful when I took pride in the fact that I was the most important person to him? Should I let go of that attitude? Don't best friends feel happy that they are very important to each other?

2. At this point, what are the option open to me? Is taking the definition of 1 Cor. 13 and following it the only option open to me?

[Shiloh62]

First of all,

I must apologize for posting a personal problem in this forum. I was not able to put up a new post anywhere else.

Secondly, I was referred here by an email friend of mine called Namritha a.k.a. Gerda Hannah. She told me that this forum gives excellent advice.

My problem is this, I had an affair with a friend of mine. I disobeyed God and started this relationship. We later broke up. I used to pride myself on the fact that I was his best friend and I was more important to him than anybody else. We used to talk everyday. But now I am not able to talk to him everyday and he has found other friends. I am not his best friend, I am just one of his friends. That makes me very very sad. When I asked my friends for advice, they told me that true loves is like 1 Cor. 13. In that verse, it says that love must not be boastful.

1. Was I being boastful when I took pride in the fact that I was the most important person to him? Should I let go of that attitude? Don't best friends feel happy that they are very important to each other?

2. At this point, what are the option open to me? Is taking the definition of 1 Cor. 13 and following it the only option open to me?

We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect. Sometimes we wish for something so much, we talk about it as if it was really true,and then God has to step in and correct us. Keep your options open and meet new people. Welcome to Worthy!

[nChrist]

First, I see this is your first post, so WELCOME! I hope that you enjoy Worthy.

Regarding your questions, I would say move on, give thanks for all of your friends, and keep in mind:

Romans 8:24-28 For in hope were we saved: but hope that is seen is not hope: for who hopeth for that which he seeth? 25 But if we hope for that which we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. 26 And in like manner the Spirit also helpeth our infirmity: for we know not how to pray as we ought; but the Spirit himself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered; 27 and he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose.

[brokenGirl]

First of all,

I must apologize for posting a personal problem in this forum. I was not able to put up a new post anywhere else.

Secondly, I was referred here by an email friend of mine called Namritha a.k.a. Gerda Hannah. She told me that this forum gives excellent advice.

My problem is this, I had an affair with a friend of mine. I disobeyed God and started this relationship. We later broke up. I used to pride myself on the fact that I was his best friend and I was more important to him than anybody else. We used to talk everyday. But now I am not able to talk to him everyday and he has found other friends. I am not his best friend, I am just one of his friends. That makes me very very sad. When I asked my friends for advice, they told me that true loves is like 1 Cor. 13. In that verse, it says that love must not be boastful.

1. Was I being boastful when I took pride in the fact that I was the most important person to him? Should I let go of that attitude? Don't best friends feel happy that they are very important to each other?

2. At this point, what are the option open to me? Is taking the definition of 1 Cor. 13 and following it the only option open to me?

We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect. Sometimes we wish for something so much, we talk about it as if it was really true,and then God has to step in and correct us. Keep your options open and meet new people. Welcome to Worthy!

Thankyou for the help.

[brokenGirl]

First, I see this is your first post, so WELCOME! I hope that you enjoy Worthy.

Regarding your questions, I would say move on, give thanks for all of your friends, and keep in mind:

Romans 8:24-28 For in hope were we saved: but hope that is seen is not hope: for who hopeth for that which he seeth? 25 But if we hope for that which we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. 26 And in like manner the Spirit also helpeth our infirmity: for we know not how to pray as we ought; but the Spirit himself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered; 27 and he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose.

I appreciate you taking the time to welcome me. God bless you!!!

[Isaiah 6:8]

First of all,

I must apologize for posting a personal problem in this forum. I was not able to put up a new post anywhere else.

Secondly, I was referred here by an email friend of mine called Namritha a.k.a. Gerda Hannah. She told me that this forum gives excellent advice.

My problem is this, I had an affair with a friend of mine. I disobeyed God and started this relationship. We later broke up. I used to pride myself on the fact that I was his best friend and I was more important to him than anybody else. We used to talk everyday. But now I am not able to talk to him everyday and he has found other friends. I am not his best friend, I am just one of his friends. That makes me very very sad. When I asked my friends for advice, they told me that true loves is like 1 Cor. 13. In that verse, it says that love must not be boastful.

1. Was I being boastful when I took pride in the fact that I was the most important person to him? Should I let go of that attitude? Don't best friends feel happy that they are very important to each other?

2. At this point, what are the option open to me? Is taking the definition of 1 Cor. 13 and following it the only option open to me?

I agree with what the others said, its good to let him go, though it may be hard. Once you have been in a deeper relationship then friendship, its not wise to try to keep the same level of friendship. Also when you do get married, if he was still your best friend you would again have to let him go, as your spouse should be the only person of the opposite sex that is your best friend, anyone else that is, is risking an affair, of the heart even if not physical.

Welcome to worthy, I hope you stay around and get to know us!

[nebula]

Hi there! Welcome to the Board.

My problem is this, I had an affair with a friend of mine. I disobeyed God and started this relationship. We later broke up.

OK, by "affair" do you mean dated or that you slept with him?

My first concern is that if you did engage in sexual activity, have you repented of it?

Also, I have to ask if you are a native English speaker (I ask because I Gerda Hanna is from another country). In English, the word "affair" means one or both people involved are married (to someone else).

I used to pride myself on the fact that I was his best friend and I was more important to him than anybody else. We used to talk everyday. But now I am not able to talk to him everyday and he has found other friends. I am not his best friend, I am just one of his friends. That makes me very very sad. When I asked my friends for advice, they told me that true loves is like 1 Cor. 13. In that verse, it says that love must not be boastful.

1. Was I being boastful when I took pride in the fact that I was the most important person to him? Should I let go of that attitude? Don't best friends feel happy that they are very important to each other?

2. At this point, what are the option open to me? Is taking the definition of 1 Cor. 13 and following it the only option open to me?

I think that "boastful" is the wrong discipline to look at with 1 Cor. 13. Your actions to me do not come across as "boastful", rather as a female who talked about what made her happy. Your relationship went past friendship. Girls who like a guy in that way love to talk about the guy and about their relationship. It's normal. So I am hesitant to consider your actions as "boastful."

However, what you should receive out of 1 Corinthians 13 is: "love does not envy," and "love is not self-seeking."

When the two of you became more than friends, you developed what is called a soul-tie. If you had physical relations, that tie became even stronger and more deep. This kind of bond is the kind that only a husband and wife should have with each other.

You need to be willing for the soul-tie to be broken between you. That's what "letting go" is about. Sadly, you will never be the friends that you once were, and you may have to back away from the friendship all together. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but if you want to be healed you need to be willing to do this. He isn't yours to hold. Seek the Lord. Lean on Him to get you through this.

Prayers

[Guest Kasey777]

I am glad you are here....blessings to you.

I can imagine your emotions are on a roller coaster right now....so I hope to be the voice of "logic" not emotionally involved.

The first thing is that, if you had an affair with a person who was your "best friend"...two things happened, you BOTH broke God's command. The second thing is you BOTH have "broken" the friendship.....it will never be as it was.

The only time "Best Friends" can be intimate with each other and have it survive, is within the bonds of marriage.

What happened took BOTH of you do do, my first suggestion is that you ask that person for "forgiveness" and apologize for your part in allowing that to happen.

It would be nice if your friend would repent as well....but more importantly that you BOTH go to God and repent and ask for His forgiveness.

Again, your "friendship" is now broken by what happened and in this kind of situation, you need to remove yourself from it. Lesson learned as well....there is always terrible pain when we sin against each other and God, might take awhile to show up, but it always comes knocking at some point.

I hope that you will invest yourself in the Lord in the following days, reach out to Him to fill that empty place you are obviously feeling and fill up that spare time no longer spent with your friend, spend that finding other friends, working and volunteering to help others. Invest yourself in God's people....you will be surprized how things will change and this event in your life will not be "front and center" in your mind any longer.

Blessings,

Rev. Kasey

[EricH]

Moved from Worthy Welcome to Looking for Advice

[Guest]

Welcome~!

Praying~!