There Is Always Hope in Christ

[lazardous]

I justed wanted to possibly give hope to those who are struggling and waiting on God. I have been there and still find myself there sometimes. I have posted here how I have been seperated from my wife. It has been almost two years. It is not by my choice. My wife had an affair and is having a hard time dealing with what she did and bitterness in her heart. I have told her I forgave her and wanted to work things out. I have lived the rololer coaster of emotions. First the betrayal, then trying to understand that she will not reconcile even though I have forgiven her.She has such a low self esteem right now she is a mess. I thought we were going to reconcile about a year ago as things were going great. Then something happened and she withdrew again. I would like to say that I have been a pillar of faith through this but I cannot. The biggest reason is trying to understand the "free will". thing. Some have told me it matters greatly. My faith and prayers are not going to effect her free will. Other's have told me that look what God did with jonah, he changed Jonah's thought's.I have been told to come to grips that the marriage is over and move on.When I have thought to do that God always checks my spirit and I do not feel free to pursue the divorce. I hate divorce and I do not understand how two Christians cannot work things out.Some have answered that by saying your wife must not have been a Christian because of what she had done.I do not know if I agree with that . Because we are Christians does not mean we are perfect. Infedelity is a very painful thing to go through. I do not know if one ever gets completely over it. I had always said if my wife betrayed me I would divorce as soon as possible. Now that it has happened to me I have found it is not that simple. God has forgiven me so who am I not to forgive her. Then I am told that you can forgive her but that does not mean you have to stay with her. Then I think about God and his mercy and love and I just cannot just end it.I may be wrong in my thinking but I have to follow what I believe God is showing me. As of late there has been no signs that my wife would reconcile. She seems determined to divorce. I was suprised when we spoke with the pastor and he asked he,"knowing you have no biblical grounds for divorce and I could not remarry you do you still feel divorce is the way you want to go", I was schocked when she said yes. It was not a very strong yes but yes none the less.I could not believe she would go against what we believe to be God's direction on Divorce. I know some would say well she committed adultry so why would you be surprised.I guess it may be called Love. I still love this woman unconditionally. I guess I may have gotting off why I posted this here, but I felt I needed to give some background. There was times as I have prayed and prayed and I wondered if God was listening. I also have wondered in maybe I was not listening to God and the marriage was over. There has been no signs of anything changing. I have become discouraged again, that blasted "roller coaster". I know God is able to move mountains, but her free will always puts that doubt in. I just heard recently there are signs that her heart is changing. I cannot say it is huge but there are signs God is changing her heart. All that to say do not give up. Even if you do not see any signs God is working where we cannot see. Keep praying and believing God is working we just have to persevere no matter how it looks. He has not forgotten you. I know the darkness you have been in. No one can understand it unless they have been there.I never understood fully the pain my friends had gone through when they went through a divorce.I can now help othhers. I know it is hard but the bible tells us to count our trials as blessings. It is hard to understand that but it is true. No matter the outcome of my marriage I know God is right there with me no matter what. I cannot control my wife but I can control how I respond , yes it is hard but when I am in the word and greet God before I start each day I find the day is so much easier to get throught. How do I know? I have tried it to many times the other way. Reach out to god he is waiting for you. Do not be afraid to ask the wonderful people at Worthy for prayer and advice. I have reached out and they never reject you. There is always someone here willing to help. Thankyou for listening and sorry about the longgggg paragraph. English is not my best subject. I am just a simple man from the country. God Bless

[Keki]

Dear Laz,

God hates divorce. Stop asking many people about your situation. Talk to God. kneel before him and earnestly tell him what you want. people's opinions will be different and you may lose focus from the one who made marriage....God. Pray and ask God to bring back your wife. ask the Holy Spirit to work within her, heal her..and you as well...and let love take over...let peace take over...remember it is only Christ who gives peace...peace that no man can give....so pray...don't give up...don't listen to what people have to say....listen from God....and he is faithful...she will return...just pray for her healing from guilt and all...and also ask god to work upon your life.

Be blessed. will pray for you.

[wingnut-]

So sorry for what you have been through, I can relate, although my ex did indeed divorce me and marry another man, so I am in a bit different place than you are now. I will pray for you and your wife, and that God's will be done in both of your lives. Thank you for sharing, God bless