I Greatly Fear God's Wrath

[Biscuit]

_{^{My son and I recently lost a family member. I think it was largely due to my arrogance and disobedience (refusal to pour out love as God instructed).}}

_{^{I fear further wrath. We have been going to a Church of God, now almost every time the door opens. Both my son and I have gone to the altar almost weekly lately. Sunday morning, I had a dream where my wife said something like "Why are you so prideful?" or "Why are you so arrogant?" Shortly afterwards, I woke up. I slept with Bible audio playing. When I woke up, this was playing and stuck in my mind/heart:}}

_{^{from Proverbs 1:}}

_{²⁴ Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;}

_{²⁵ But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:}

_{²⁶ I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;}

_{²⁷ When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.}

_{²⁸ Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:}

_{²⁹ For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the Lord:}

_{³⁰ They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.}

_{³¹ Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.}

_{³² For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.}

_{³³ But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.}

At the Sunday service, the Holy Spirit was moving greatly. There was a tongue and an interpretation. Right afterwards, there was an altar call. I did not go to the altar or ask for prayer. I had been going forward almost every Sunday lately, and felt I should not go every time. I have never spoken in tongues and to my knowledge, do not hear God's voice. However, I now feel I was disobedient in not going forward (see verse 24,25 above). My son has health problems and I fear something bad is about to happen to me or my son. When it does, I fear that God will not answer prayer or offer another opportunity at the altar. Not to make excuses for my own shortcomings and worldliness, but I came out of a Baptist background and feel that I am still learning about spiritual things. I hope that God is just giving me a warning and is not about to take out His wrath and make an example of me.

[Biscuit]

I am sorry for the small print. I must have done something wrong. I feel so alone about this. My pastor is out of town this week and I don't want to talk much to my son about it and bring him down, since he already has health problems.

[nebula]

Oh my goodness, Biscuit - someone is lying to you about the the love of God.

"Mercy triumphs over judgment."

I know what it is like to be in a heavy-handed body of believers, where every wrong thought or misdirection is dealt with a sledge hammer.

This is NOT the heart of God the Father!

He is not like Zeus in the clouds holding a lightning bolt waiting for you to make a mistake to strike you down.

"His anger is for a moment, but His favor lasts for a life time!"

Jesus never required answering an "altar call" to evidence repentance or a heart seeking after God. God cries out to you with a heart of love and beckoning, not a heart of demand.

Pride and arrogance or deep-rooted issues in most peoples' lives that can't be easily weeded out. As one searches their heart they discover such attitudes are rooted in wounds, dysfunction in family upbringing, and the like. You can't beat yourself up for struggling with pride. Rather, ask yourself, "What wound or insecurity am I trying to cover with this pride?" and seek the Lord on that.

Remember, just because people are operating in the gifts of the Spirit it doesn't mean they have God's seal of approval for all things they say and do. Recall how King Saul prophecied? God's gift and calling are without favoritism; one can receive yet still walk in their own ways. Recall Sampson misusing the gift of strength the Lord gave him?

Please, Biscuit - do not let the teaching of guilt and condemnation that your every action is being sifted with a fine-tooth comb, and every bad deed occurs because God is punishing you.

No! "The thief comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy. But I have come that you might have life!" ~ Jesus

Praying for you.

[JeannieC]

Hi Biscuit. I totally agree with Nebula. God loves us and does not want us to be afraid and paralyzed by guilt and condemnation. When we have the Holy Spirit living in us we become God's children and as it says in Romans 8:15

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!"

He is our father. He forgives us when we sin and confess to Him and tell Him that we are sorry and want His help to do better. He isn't waiting to smite us with every wrong move. He knows we need help that is why He gave us the Holy Spirit to help us so that we may have a close and loving relationship with our Father. He loves us and He is ready and willing to help us not hurt us. God sent not His son into the world to condemn the world but that the world through Him might be saved. Please don't let someone put you under the spirit of fear and condemnation. I've been there in a church before and not only was it hurtful to the believer it was a misrepresentation of our loving and gracious God.

[Biscuit]

I see what you are saying, Nebula, but I am concerned that God called me forward for a miracle and I disobeyed Him & He may not offer it again, since I have been disobedient in the past. There are instances in the Bible where God gave people several chances and then just gave up on them (i.e. Saul). I am so hard hearted but have been trying and thought I was making progress. The church has not taught me anything strange since we have not gone there that long. I guess any odd beliefs are my own.

[LisaMarie savedbygrace]

I see what you are saying, Nebula, but I am concerned that God called me forward for a miracle and I disobeyed Him & He may not offer it again, since I have been disobedient in the past. There are instances in the Bible where God gave people several chances and then just gave up on them (i.e. Saul). I am so hard hearted but have been trying and thought I was making progress. The church has not taught me anything strange since we have not gone there that long. I guess any odd beliefs are my own.

I see what you are saying, Nebula, but I am concerned that God called me forward for a miracle and I disobeyed Him & He may not offer it again, since I have been disobedient in the past. There are instances in the Bible where God gave people several chances and then just gave up on them (i.e. Saul). I am so hard hearted but have been trying and thought I was making progress. The church has not taught me anything strange since we have not gone there that long. I guess any odd beliefs are my own.

Have you asked God for forgiveness ?? I mean I'm almost sure most of us miss God from time to time.. not really sure if it was Him asking us to do something... But, remember the enemy will play on your weakness. . So don't beat yourself up too much just bring it all to God ask for forgiveness .. and you will be forgiven.. He knows all about you and isn't at all surprised by you.. He sees that you're making progress and that's really all that any of us can do..

I remember this one time at my old church we were having a Bible study and this woman was there needing a healing for something ..But at that time I knew i was under attack and didn't want to lay my hands on her for i felt in my own mind that i would send it her way.. I kept hearing God (or I believe it was Him) telling me to give her my hand.. and i couldn't i just froze.. I felt just awful after that because i didn't see her back at the church after that.. I kept thinking" what if i laid my hands on her, would that have made her stay"?? I drove myself completely nuts until I just caved and gave it over to God. I cried and told Him how sorry i was ..

So just tell Him everything.. He already knows your heart so just spill it ... God is a gracious God.. and Im sure He will send more blessings and favor your way .. we all mess up, miss the mark from time to time.. He knows that.. But He LOVES YOU!!!

[Biscuit]

JeannieC, thank you for the kind words and I hope you are right.

LisaMarie, yes I have asked for forgiveness and very much spilled it.

My Mom passed away in June, my wife passed away last month, and I just lost my job. I feel something else bad is going to happen (to me or my son). I had posted about my wife on here since 2003 about the time she got sick. I completely misinterpreted a prophecy that someone spoke to her when we began going to "pentecostal" type churches. Long story. God then told me to pour out my love on my family. In retrospect, I feel that I did not do that, at least enough. Again, long story. I have asked forgiveness. I am really trying to change but fear God may be done with me.

[LisaMarie savedbygrace]

I am truly sorry for your loss....

But i don't believe God is done with you .. We can't change on our own.. I am finding that one out.. I wish I had the right thing to say to you ..But all I can tell you is that I know He loves you .. I know he has forgiven you.. maybe you just need to forgive yourself.. seems like you are holding on to all this guilt .. you need to let that go ..The enemy is soo good at playing on our weaknesses.. and will tell whatever He can to tear you away from God.. or to get you to believe that God is mad at you.. You have asked for forgiveness and I believe you are forgiven.. Don't accept those negative thoughts that are playing in ur head.. cast them down .. GOD LOVES YOU... we will never do everything perfectly if we did we wouldn't need Jesus... Keep holding on ..

[He giveth more grace]

Brother, leave off the Old Testament for now and read the New Testament, it is full of grace and love.

Roman 8:32-39

³² He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

³³ Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. [not God because he's the one who justifieth]

³⁴Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. [not Christ, he is the one that died for our sins]

³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

³⁶ As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

³⁷ Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

³⁸ For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

³⁹ Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

That verse you quoted in Proverbs is not for Christians, our Father would never speak to one of his children that way.

[Biscuit]

Is it possible that my dream in post #1 came from the enemy ?? My son just told me that he had a dream last night that I had died. I am trying to get my will in order and take out some life insurance. I feel that something is going to happen and I don't understand since I have repented & feel I have humbled myself & sincerely want to change for the better.