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Dating a Friend


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Guest shiloh357

To be honest, the best thing to do is for a guy to just lay it on the line if he is interested because women, without realizing it, can put out some very confusing signals.  There comes a point in life when women should not constantly treat  a guy like he is her best friend if she is not interested in him. It sends the wrong signal. 

 

And rather than trying to guess, a guy needs to step up and just say something.  Be a man and ask her out if you are interested.  I have heard over and over that women are waiting for men to step up and be men and stop being nervous little boys.

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Guest shiloh357

And I am just going to say this for the sake of tough love, but if there were a girl who I was interested in and who was willing to make a bet with me about which one of us would be in relationship first, that is NOT a good sign.   Augustus, if you like her you better say something now.  You have been friends for years and it is my humble opinion that your window of opportunity is closing fast.  

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Haha, Matthew T. I am indeed an avid Lonesome Dove fan, hence the name. That was quite sly of you to make that suggestion with intentions that you didn't disclose until I posted my reply, haha. I guess I'll have to watch for more of your tricks lol

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Sounds like your both young and have a lot of time.  Don't rush it and make sure God is always in the center of this relationship, those are the ones that last.

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Well, while I wouldn't have made a "bet" type of thing myself, the way you are saying it sounds like just a bit of silliness, not a big deal. However her response...yep. That would most likely be one of those little hints. I had to drop one of those for another fellow. Normally I wouldn't have, but he was extra shy. The men here keep going on about being "assertive" and yeah, we don't want some indecisive wanderer that wants someone to tell him where to go. But sometimes (often?) men go waaaaaaaaay the other extreme and not all (or any?) women want to be "pursued."

 

To risk another analogy, I always saw myself more as the doe that would venture into a clearing. The right sort of guy would have sat under a tree, enjoying the view and gradually I would get used to him being there and let him get a little closer...you know. Unfortunately, most guys are more of the hunter. Now, at this point, all my Cabela's shoppers are throwing up their hands in exasperation. Yes, I know you hunt bucks, (preferably four pointers) not does. That's not a flawed analogy, that's the whole point. Too many saw me bound away and pursued me over hill and dale with ruthless persistence. Nothing attractive about that.

 

But that's just my soapbox. I don't think you're that sort, Augustus, if your personality is coming through the internet clearly. Your friend sounds a bit like the shy doe type herself. So, right about now, this little doe has let you get close enough. I mean that figuratively, of course. I would not recommend creeping up to her and slowly reaching out and tapping her shoulder. That would be...creepy. Ha ha ;)

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Haha, Matthew T. I am indeed an avid Lonesome Dove fan, hence the name. That was quite sly of you to make that suggestion with intentions that you didn't disclose until I posted my reply, haha. I guess I'll have to watch for more of your tricks lol

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAH... Wise fellow, LOL!

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Pro, I love your analogies haha. It is quite clear that you are indeed a writer. I'm going to say that since my dad is a taxidermist, your analogy doesn't necessarily flow 100%, but I definitely got what you meant. I couldn't help but visualize creeping up and tapping her on the shoulder after you said that...  :laugh:

Edited by Augustus McCrae
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Guest shiloh357

Hey pro,

 

I am not talking about pursuing.  Being assertive is one thing.  Being a stalker/hunter is just creepy.   If a guy has been friends with a girl for years like Augustus has been and he is interested, he should let her know unless she has put out signals that she is not interested. 

 

The whole "bet" things was a mistake because it tends to communicate disinterest in the person you are betting with.  If I made a bet with a girl over who which of us would be in a relationship first, it would mean I was looking elsewhere.  It could communicate to her that he doesn't see her as a potential love interest and she will move on and look elsewhere.

 

Back in the day, the guys just walked up (even if they were nervous) and asked a girl out.  They didn't hem-haw around.  They didn't beat around the bush.  They just put it out there that they were interested.   If she said no, then no harm and no foul.  

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I think it is a good move for a woman to be honest with a guy.Let him know if you are not interested.You can usually pick up clues if a guy is interested.

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Once again, thank you for all the replies. I can feel that y'all truly wish to help.

 

Also, I remembered a little tidbit from the other night. It was also decided that if dating within the group occurred, the two who were dating would owe the other two double the decided wager. (This is only remotely relevant because it's the first time the topic of dating within the group was ever spoken of as a possibility).

Edited by Augustus McCrae
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