Where do i fit in?

[Guest Jasmine_OTF]

I've been a Christian for a long time. I am married with kids. My problem has always been one of feeling like I never quite belong to something completely. In a nut shell, I feel like Im too much a saint to be a good sinner and too much a sinner to be a good saint. I have no interest in the "worldly" activities, and I see people who really have a gusto for church, but I can't seem to enjoy the "church type" activities either.I've always been somewhat of a loner, I know that. I feel bad that I can't seem to get involved with the groups like I should. People always hound me because I'm not like "them" when it comes to being involved in church. I do love people, and I do pray for them, and should they need something, I love to help, It's just not in me to be part of a clique. I wonder, what part will I play in heaven, I don't want to be there watching from the sidelines. I know it sounds silly, but, it's sad when you can't seem to "fit" anywhere.

[Guest Fluffy the Cactus]

Maybe try to find a really small church. Where I grew up going to church, there was a total of 18 people in the church. Course, there were no men in there, but in any case, it was a small church and there weren't any "cliques" because the church wasn't big enough for that. I've never liked large churches, and anything OVER 100 members is LARGE. Anything over 500 is huge and anything over 1,000 is insane. It's good that so many people can find church homes in these larger churches, but like you, I've always been sort of a loner. Maybe there's a church in your area that's really small. Often times they don't have a whole lot of programs that these larger churches have, but what they lack in amount of services they more than make up for in terms of fellowship in what they DO have.

Just a suggestion.

[Guest destiny_child]

Jasmine, it's ok. It's not "necessary" that you need to click in with the crowd to be accepted. Jesus loves us as we are. I don't think you're an outcast. Perhaps you haven't found someone in the church that you feel you're comfortable with. Some churches do not take much effort to know or care for people. They expect people like you and me to be nice to them. Hospitality is their missing ingredient. I'm still very much like you too. Sometimes I feel like a social misfit in the church. But I don't think of it too much.

[amazingrace]

Jasmine, It could be that the Lord has a very special purpose for you. Often, when a person feels as if s/he ''doesnt fit in'', its because s/he has been set aside by God for a particular reason. It might be that He wants you to be a prayer warrior, or to serve in some behind-the-scenes ministry. When the apostle Paul was describing the church as a body, he mentioned many of the body parts.. and part of what he said was that the body cannot function as a whole, unless even the unseen parts are participating. The fact that you are concerned that you think you are not contributing to the Lord's work even though you ''dont fit in'' tells me that you have a heart for serving Him in some way. I suggest you take it to Him in prayer, and ask Him to show you what it is He has prepared for you. It might be such a thing as being a prayer warrior or answering the phone at a crisis intervention center . Look at the things that interest you in the Lord, and see if He isnt calling you to minister in one of those areas. God bless you.

[yukon]

Jasmine,  It could be that the Lord has a very special purpose for you.  Often, when a person feels as if s/he ''doesnt fit in'', its because s/he has been set aside by God for a particular reason.  It might be that He wants you to be a prayer warrior, or to serve in some behind-the-scenes ministry.  When the apostle Paul was describing the church as a body,  he mentioned many of the body parts.. and part of what he said was that the body cannot function as a whole, unless even the unseen parts are participating.  The fact that you are concerned that you think you are not contributing to the Lord's work even though you ''dont fit in'' tells me that you have a heart for serving Him in some way.  I suggest you take it to Him in prayer, and ask Him to show you what it is He has prepared for you.  It might be such a thing as being a prayer warrior or answering the phone at a crisis intervention center .  Look at the things that interest you in the Lord, and see if He isnt calling you to minister in one of those areas.  God bless you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with you!! I too was the same way, I do not seem to fit either, but Jesus has giving me a job of service for Him. I am sure Jesus has a very special task just for you also Jasmine!!

Yukon

[Guest destiny_child]

I've also learnt through the years that it is important to God that we get our relationship right with Him first. And then we just do our best to serve Him and the rest will follow.

[Annette443pink]

I know the feeling Jasmine. I think with me it's because I'm pretty shy. I am in a small church and I feel like I belong and am loved but I'm still very uncomfortable at times of "fellowship".

I most definitely feel that I don't belong in the world. It can get a person down. I don't want to be like worldly people- that's for sure. Sometimes I wonder if God has something else for me like that person was suggesting to you.

Things were made worse for me when a family crisis arose and members of my own family betrayed me and showed no respect for my decisions. THE people I thought I could always count on. (Mathew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household). That's why it's important to draw as close to God as you can so you'll be ready for crisis.

Get as close to God as you can. Communicate with Him in all things. It helps me to know that God knows every last thing about me and understands me. Read Psalm 139. It really spoke to my heart last night.

Psalm 43:5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

[DocHoliday]

Jasmine, GBU. before I go any further, I'm gonna stick something on here, that I posted as posted for someone else, but I think can apply to you here.

quote...

people will come from every angle with their own perspective's, solution's and formulas, as to what it is to be a Christian in their opinion or observations. And because they might have experienced something, or come to understood their salvation in a certain way, they might come across as sounding or even demanding that every person is suppose to experience it, or come to see it in that same way they have. We're all responsible for making statements that limit God's sovereignty in another person's life. "If you're a Christian, then you must look like this, sound like that, do in this manner, know in this way, feel in this fashion, adopt these ideas, or simply, see it in the way that I declare a "true" Christian is suppose to see it.. otherwise, you must not be saved"! But none of these so called qualifications have the authority that God has when it comes to His choosing and saving one's soul. Nor do they have the ability to with 100% accuracy, determine who is and who isn't of the Lord!

end quote

For a time, I walked away from Church. And it wasnt because there was something wrong with me. Instead, I started to see how much, (particularly, in the church I was at that time going to, as well as all over though) we try to become these little police officers for the Lord. Its phony, its fake, and I cant stand it. There is nothing that I cant stand more in a church, than people, who are flesh, attempting to do something in my spirit. And even more, telling me that I'm suppose to be doing this, and suppose to be doing that. When I know down right where God has me and what He wants of me! And sometimes, that means nothing at all.

It got so bad, and I started to see this so clearly, that I talked very sharply with some of the pastors, (a few of them my good friends) about how much they putting burdens on people. Instead of letting God do the work in someone's life. They were starting to do the "the chuch needs to get busy, and therefore, if you're not doing something for God, you need to get busy too" message. This attempt to stir ones spirit is to me, fruitless. God should be the one operating, He doesnt need our help. (And this does draw up a fine line, which I can later expand on, because there is a time when God is telling us, but I think, more inside, with power given, to go out and do something, whatever that may be)

I dont have good patience for reading, but I read the post that came immediately after your original post. And I must say that I thought it was very genuine, and wise. The person brought up some really good points that are true to this day. But even if these people are true believers, maybe the problem, is that you are feeling pressure from others as to what you are suppose to be doing in your life "as a Christian" as opposed to having God leading you to, and doing the work naturally inside of you.

You might be exactly where God wants you to be. And you dont have to "get involved" simply because others say that you are suppose to. You are in Grace dear sister. And if God has you at home taking care of your family, instead of creating and holding on to, "self made friendships" (which to me are the worst) then trust in that. And be in His grace. And dont let other people tell you, and push you into what "they say" you are suppose to be doing.

[sweetycakes]

I've been a Christian for a long time. I am married with kids. My problem has always been one of feeling like I never quite belong to something completely.

i know exactly how you feel, jasmine, cos its the same way for me, not able, and not willing to fit in with the world, yet not up there with the super spiritual either. its a lonely feeling, and i know that a lot of my problems have been caused by myself, but there are definitely some that i feel are not my fault. all i can say is that God is faithful to us, and there are many instances in the bible of people with different strengths and weaknesses. after all it takes all sorts to make a world, as they say. the bottom line is that we realise out absolute dependence on God, and trust and pray for Him to bring us through to victory.

[craig911]

I think it is important to point out something that will become very obvious as this thread continues. Jasmine is not alone. There are many of us out there who share these feelings and experiences.

It is because of that we relate so quickly to what it is you have expressed. I would hope you would find some comfort in knowing that you are truly not alone.

I would agree with many things that have been posted so far. I personally would tell you that the feeling you have is a part of your unique personality. God has a plan for each of us and the truth be know we will complete it regardless of wether we are even aware that we have or not.

Sometimes Gods plan for us as individuals takes time to achieve. If one looked back in reflection of those achievements it would be obvious that while God was working to teach you and guide you, your interactions with others was his way of doing the same for them.

God is such an awesome God and the way that he works in our lives individually as well as collectively is simply astounding. I no longer feel bad when I do not feel like being the social butterfly so to speak. I know there have been times when during fellowship I am compelled to do more or share more.

I hope that all of the responses you will see posted will let you know that you're okay and all is well and to pray and ask God to simply have his will be done in your life. God will work the rest from there.