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What in your opinion should be the right response?


SIC

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23 hours ago, SIC said:

In your opinion if a believer you know well gets engaged to an unbeliever what should be the right response? 

I am personally of the opinion that the right response would be to show the believer those verses in the bible that speak against marrying an unbeliever and then pray for God to change their heart. After all God's word has power mine don't. 

Some others in church believe that would be 'hitting them on their head with the bible'. 

What do you all think is the best way to respond to a believer you know well getting engaged to an unbeliever? 

 

 

If I know that person well I agree with you. I would tell that person that the Bible tells us that a born again Christian marrying a unbeliever is being unevenly yolked. If the person disagrees I would question if they are truly a born again Christian. 

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We dated for almost 3 weeks before getting married. I was on boot leave from the Marine Corp. She was quiet and I was mouthy and impulsive. She is not as quiet now, and I am less mouthy and impulsive. When we married we were non Christians. When I returned to my unit that was getting ready to deploy, I told them I had gotten married. They very condescendingly said to me, "it will never work out. She has only married you to get the insurance money when you get knocked off, and if you do come back she will leave." That was 53 years ago, and our marriage is stronger now than ever. She has stood by me through thick and thin with all that accompanied the effects of my time in Vietnam (PTSD). Don't know if this is what you are looking for, but hear it is anyway.

Gary

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2 hours ago, Josheb said:

I hesitate to use this example because of its atypical nature. However.....

 

Tell me what a friend could have said that would have stopped you from marrying your soon-to-be-bride while you were on leave?

Even though we only dated for less than 3 weeks, I knew her for about 11 years. I could not have been persuaded by even the closest friend to not marry her. As I said previously, we were not committed Christians when we got married. While we were able to maintain a relatively normal marriage at the beginning, as time progressed we became divided over a number of things and the marriage was in jeopardy. In 1974 we came to Christ at the same crusade, and the marriage began to heal and grow because of our new foundation in Christ. I don't see how any committed Christian would entertain going into a marriage with a non believer. Light and darkness cannot successfully thrive.

Gary

 

Edited by bropro
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11 hours ago, Josheb said:

Let me ask you each who is already married (or previously so) two very op-relevant queries. 

 

How long had you dated prior to getting engaged?

How had your relationship with that soon-to-be-spouse other person changed from the time you had your first date to the time you got engaged and declared your intent to wed? (just summarized that briefly ;))

We dated for almost exactly a year prior to engagement. 

In the time of dating we got to know each better of course - habits, interests, family, hopes. Certainly the relationship was far deeper than the start.

 

 

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On 10/8/2021 at 7:01 PM, SIC said:

In your opinion if a believer you know well gets engaged to an unbeliever what should be the right response? 

I am personally of the opinion that the right response would be to show the believer those verses in the bible that speak against marrying an unbeliever and then pray for God to change their heart. After all God's word has power mine don't. 

Some others in church believe that would be 'hitting them on their head with the bible'. 

What do you all think is the best way to respond to a believer you know well getting engaged to an unbeliever? 

 

 

 

Leave them alone. Let your friend be the judge of his own choosing if he is a believer. No one other than his father and mother have any authority to advise their son. No pastor and no brother unless he asks. Leave him alone. 

Pius Christians are as much a cause of stumbling than whores who garner men by licentious means. If he loves her and desires to marry her, then leave him alone. He is doing nothing more than obeying the first purposes of God. Let him bring his wife to Christ and if she loves him then he will. 

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I see a lot of stories of how things worked out alright. God in His Mercy may enable things to turn out alright and often times He does turn things around for many couples.

BUT the point is God has explicitly forbidden marrying an unbeliever. Marrying an unbeliever is an act of disobedience.

I believe this is the guiding scripture :

18 If I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, in order to save his life, that wicked person shall die for[d] his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. 19 But if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, or from his wicked way, he shall die for his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul.

If people are enroute to disobeying God's word your job is to let them know that they are disobeying God's word. What they do with their life is between them and God. You have done your job in telling them.

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27 minutes ago, SIC said:

I see a lot of stories of how things worked out alright. God in His Mercy may enable things to turn out alright and often times He does turn things around for many couples.

BUT the point is God has explicitly forbidden marrying an unbeliever. Marrying an unbeliever is an act of disobedience.

I believe this is the guiding scripture :

18 If I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, in order to save his life, that wicked person shall die for[d] his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. 19 But if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, or from his wicked way, he shall die for his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul.

If people are enroute to disobeying God's word your job is to let them know that they are disobeying God's word. What they do with their life is between them and God. You have done your job in telling them.

If that Scripture were to have any semblance of meaning to whether a believing man marries an unbelieving women then he would have to perish for no more reason than by doing so. That is what I mean by pious christianity. He is not a city - he is a man. 

Edited by Kelly2363
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3 minutes ago, Kelly2363 said:

If that Scripture were to have an semblance of meaning to whether a believing man marries an unbelieving women then he would have to perish for no more reason that by doing so. That is what I mean by pious christianity. He is not a city - he is a man. 

But the principle holds. You let people know that they are enroute to disobeying. Whether they take it or not is upto them. But they cannot say that they have not been warned.

Ezekiel 2:5

And whether they hear or refuse to hear (for they are a rebellious house) they will know that a prophet has been among them.
 

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10 minutes ago, SIC said:

But the principle holds. You let people know that they are enroute to disobeying. Whether they take it or not is upto them. But they cannot say that they have not been warned.

Ezekiel 2:5

And whether they hear or refuse to hear (for they are a rebellious house) they will know that a prophet has been among them.
 

Then prophecy to him and be accountable for your own words.

Edited by Kelly2363
Removed redundant word "then"
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9 hours ago, SIC said:

I see a lot of stories of how things worked out alright. God in His Mercy may enable things to turn out alright and often times He does turn things around for many couples.

BUT the point is God has explicitly forbidden marrying an unbeliever. Marrying an unbeliever is an act of disobedience.

I believe this is the guiding scripture :

18 If I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, in order to save his life, that wicked person shall die for[d] his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. 19 But if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, or from his wicked way, he shall die for his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul.

If people are enroute to disobeying God's word your job is to let them know that they are disobeying God's word. What they do with their life is between them and God. You have done your job in telling them.

Has the Lord appointed you the judge of your brother in his way? Do you know the secrets of his heart and most importantly, are you privy to the hidden will and purpose of the Lord? These are important matters to consider, my friend. Grave matters indeed, for if you presume to speak for the Almighty then you will be held accountable for every word. Every one. 

If your brother frequents prostitutes, then warn him in his way.
If your brother swindles others then by all means, warn him of the consequences of his deeds.

Pray for your brother in his way for he is accountable to the Lord; he stands or falls by Christ and not you. Who are we to forbid anyone to marry? The Lord Himself ordains marriage, not man. It is a terrible thing to curse what God blesses, and bless what the Almighty curses. A strange interpretation of scripture does not appoint any to the "job" of judging their brother in his way. 

Fear God, not man. We do not appoint ourselves, my friend. 

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