Some people we are better off without

[HopeInHim]

8 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

Yes my friend,it's toxic,it's unholy,a waste of time and your time can be well spent on someone who is hungry & thirsty for the Word --- you can forgive,love & pray for your family members without engaging ... You can also accept THEIR apologies for reaching back out & keep your distance

Our real Family is right here,the Brothers & Sisters who are members of Christ's Body. .. blood families are temporary,some OF this world,we are not OF this WORLD- just IN it for a while!

Hope that helps,you are not alone with your feelings....

Thank you for the words of encouragement.  I try to remember that I can not keep sacrificing myself and my peace of mind to my toxic parents, to the detriment of my own relationship with God as well as the detriment of my relationship with my dear husband, who I know He has so graciously blessed me with.

Sometimes I can only pray that God would open their eyes to the Truth, and that He would grant me the ability to be able to truly forgive, even though there has never been any repentance. 

I very much appreciate you sharing in the hopes that others might feel less alone with these struggles! It has accomplished the task.  

[HopeInHim]

8 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

And what God Has for YOU is for YOU & no one else - He Will lead,guide & instruct.

Amen! He is the God who sees me and there is such freedom in knowing that in the end it is just between me and my Lord.

[JohnPaul88]

17 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

Again,I've always been honest with her( And anyone for that matter) Do I seem like a person that doesn't say what's on my mind or in my heart?

    Anytime she gets ticked off over some imagined thing she is " Done with you"( her words)..   then she calls crying when she needs something,it's a cycle,a perpetual cycle - this time I blocked her,I'm not interested in hearing from her........ And that's the end of the story- if one day she showed up at my door I would answer ,wish her well & tell her to have a nice life( without me in it)

Well said and best way to go about it Sister.

[JohnPaul88]

18 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

I appreciate your opinion & input but I'm not looking for advice or approval,no disrespect intended.

As I said I only started this thread so others could feel free to share about their own issues,I just kicked things off to pave the way

My personal relationship isn't really up for discussion,it's an example and my decision to no longer engage is the best thing I could do - when you've had enough of the merry-go-round you can just get off or keep going in circles- it leads nowhere

Have you never had anyone toxic in your life where you are much better off without? I'm sure you have & you didn't need anyone to condone your actions,right? We do know what's best for us,it's just difficult to walk away from people you love even when it's a one way relationship.....the Lord certainly gives us Peace in doing so,Praise Jesus!

Great response Kwik, sometimes people need to be told upfront and public, totally agree with you Sister.

[kwikphilly]

20 hours ago, missmuffet said:

If you are not looking for advice then I am confused why you posted this. Surely you knew that you would be getting advice. 

Yes, I have had toxic people in my life. Most people have. 

Blessings Peeps

I'm not sure why you are confused,I've explained 3 times my reason for starting this thread and what I hoped it would accomplish....I really could not have been any clearer

 We do have " Looking for Advice" Forums,that is where I would have posted if that was my objective.I chose " General Discussion" so everyone could share whatever they like about difficult relationships.Many Christians don't seem to talk about the tough stuff.

 Over the years I get a lot of pms,many express the desire to be like me or have Faith as I do- I'm not anyone special,I have nothing more than any other Brother or Sister in Christ and folks need to know we ALL struggle through difficult circumstances because we are human - me too!

 We are Indwelled by the Same Holy Spirit,that Same Power that Raised Jesus from the dead is in each of us- we all have access to the very Same Heart & Mind of Jesus as He is our Head.... Yet we all live within these flesh & bone bodies as we strive towards Perfection- which is Jesus!

Everything we Overcome as MORE than a Conqueror in Christ Jesus is to the Glory,Praise,Honor & Thanksgiving of our Almighty Father in Heaven!!!!

With love in Christ, Kwik

[missmuffet]

7 minutes ago, kwikphilly said:

Blessings Peeps

I'm not sure why you are confused,I've explained 3 times my reason for starting this thread and what I hoped it would accomplish....I really could not have been any clearer

 We do have " Looking for Advice" Forums,that is where I would have posted if that was my objective.I chose " General Discussion" so everyone could share whatever they like about difficult relationships.Many Christians don't seem to talk about the tough stuff.

 Over the years I get a lot of pms,many express the desire to be like me or have Faith as I do- I'm not anyone special,I have nothing more than any other Brother or Sister in Christ and folks need to know we ALL struggle through difficult circumstances because we are human - me too!

 We are Indwelled by the Same Holy Spirit,that Same Power that Raised Jesus from the dead is in each of us- we all have access to the very Same Heart & Mind of Jesus as He is our Head.... Yet we all live within these flesh & bone bodies as we strive towards Perfection- which is Jesus!

Everything we Overcome as MORE than a Conqueror in Christ Jesus is to the Glory,Praise,Honor & Thanksgiving of our Almighty Father in Heaven!!!!

With love in Christ, Kwik

So instead of anyone giving advice you want a member to give their experiences of what they have had to deal with a toxic relative? The reason I am confused is because in your first post you did not say that you did not want advice.

 

"Blessings Everyone

   I'm pretty sure there's not one person here that cannot think of one person they'd do much better without .I'm talking about either a family member,close friend or someone in relationship with you- not the nasty clerk in the convenience store where you need never to shop!

    I have a cousin,the only cousin who lives within driving distance that has been in close relationship with me all of her life( she's nearing age 60).Having any kind of relationship with this girl is taxing,I don't believe anyone not Indwelled by Holy Spirit could tolerate her in any way shape or form. Impossible,it is no wonder why she has no friends & family members avoid her like the plague.

  Well,I was the last to put her on "block" and I am finished.Everyone has their breaking point or their tolerance level,when they cross that threshold it's time to walk away and not look back .There's much more to it because it is spiritual and I've resolved myself to the fact that no matter what " revelation" she claims to have received her rotten fruit proves otherwise and it is high time I kick the dust from my feet and stop wasting my time & energy.

    I guess I've not much to say as I'd only be talking badly about her,tale bearing and that's not my thing.I just don't have one more ounce of anything in me to give-volatile ,explosive,unpredictable,behavior gets very old when you are dealing with an unrepentant heart.

  Yep, some people you are just better off without!

With love in Christ, Kwik"

[kwikphilly]

1 hour ago, Slibhin said:

Almost all my ex-inlaws

Hi Slibhin

Can't say I've not been down that road myself!

It's funny,makes me think about my Mom( not at all the same because she was not widowed) but I do think of her because like you ,she & my Dad were teen sweethearts .My Mom literally grew up with my Dad's family,she & his Sisters were thick as theives since they were kids.. after my Dad left my Mom she lost everyone she knew as family

My Mom used to refer to the ex- inlaws as " the outlaws .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[kwikphilly]

On 9/4/2022 at 8:40 AM, kwikphilly said:

The reason I started this thread is because I know there are many Christians who struggle over estranged family members &/ or irreconcilable differences in relationships - and they needn't struggle because Jesus tells us to Forgive & to Love

Read God's Word,He never suggests we should partake or put up with ANYONE who does not walk in His Ways ,His Will,His Word- no not at all! I don't know why it's so hard for anyone to understand we are " separate,called out,His" and often times we must walk away from mother, brother,cousin or whomever that might be to follow Jesus. It does not mean you don't LOVE or do not Forgive,one has nothing to do with the other- Love & Forgiveness brings Peace in walking away,believe it!

I hope everyone sees this thread as a safe place to get real- I for one am not going to give anyone relationship advice except when it's regarding our Relationship with God in Christ ! In Him we have in us the Counselor,Holy Spirit Will give us the wisdom needed to live according to the Will of God. And what God Has for YOU is for YOU & no one else - He Will lead,guide & instruct.

I've been shown many times to walk away from my cousin as I was once shown to walk away from my own mother- this is a family with strong  bondage ,chained & shackled to evil- from the occult and even family curses..... I broke the chain & was Born Again,some others have as well but then there's those still dead in sin.... I have no part with them and it's not my job to Reveal,only to PRESENT...... God Bless us all and continue to pray for all who have not YET Received

With love in Christ, Kwik

@missmuffetii Hi again Peeps

Is there some reason you continue to question me as you are.... When you kept questioning whether I've been " honest" with my cousin in telling her my position I answered as politely as possible even though I thought you should know me better than to ask such a question( you know me more personally than many & for a very long time)

To be very clear I quickly added the above post & yet you are commenting about my OP,what is the problem because it sure seems like you do not think I've posted appropriately or to some standard I'm unaware of.Is it a problem that I don't want advice ? I told you I appreciated your input but I don't need approval or advice,isn't that honest? It shouldn't be offensive so now I'm confused why you continue with these comments about what I have shared here and how I've written it

Instead of simply being a place for me & others to vent & relate to one another I'm feeling like I'm under your interrogation or that you disapprove of the type of discussion I hoped to initiate- have I done something to irritate you?

[missmuffet]

2 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

@missmuffetii Hi again Peeps

Is there some reason you continue to question me as you are.... When you kept questioning whether I've been " honest" with my cousin in telling her my position I answered as politely as possible even though I thought you should know me better than to ask such a question( you know me more personally than many & for a very long time)

To be very clear I quickly added the above post & yet you are commenting about my OP,what is the problem because it sure seems like you do not think I've posted appropriately or to some standard I'm unaware of.Is it a problem that I don't want advice ? I told you I appreciated your input but I don't need approval or advice,isn't that honest? It shouldn't be offensive so now I'm confused why you continue with these comments about what I have shared here and how I've written it

Instead of simply being a place for me & others to vent & relate to one another I'm feeling like I'm under your interrogation or that you disapprove of the type of discussion I hoped to initiate- have I done something to irritate you?

I will let it go. 

[believeinHim]

On 9/3/2022 at 10:20 AM, missmuffet said:

Maybe it would be best to be honest with this person and have a talk with them. Tell them exactly how you feel when you are with them. That may be the kindest way to approach this person. Pray for this person.

Yes, When people are shut out and refused being talked to after a long history, or even a short history, People need to know why. People also need to know the circumstances.

With the rising persecution and shrinking Christianity, As well as where we are getting ourselves in America, There are some people who are stuck with no way out.

The homeless, As we have discussed etc, Are homeless apparently what I am realizing, for no reason. In San Francisco it is costing the state thousands to have people be homeless per person, per year. How much better off would it be if we gave those people the money to the per person, per year ? If they can't handle it, Those are the people who should have a payee. Etc.

The situation we have gotten ourselves in to could contribute a lot to a person's mood, And behavior, And thought patterns beyond their illness.

When you are in a constant state of having to "impress", Or "cow~toe" to, {For lack of a better word ?},

When you constantly have to beg the government for a 900 dollar check,

As well as convince them that you still have an illness and that it is chronic,

It's not just the illness anymore. Then it becomes societal, And it becomes a societal problem.

Talking to the person is not going to make them go away, Not talking to the person is not going to make them go away, And leaving them with nothing is not going to make them go away, either.

They would literally have to die in order for them to go away. That's what's left, And {Praise Jesus}, Hopefully, I would end up with Him.